My Husband Always Walks Away From Me: He Walks Away When We Argue

I sometimes hear from wives who are getting very tired of waiting for their estranged husband to come back home. Often, they are looking for a plan that is going to encourage him to come home sooner rather than later. One such plan is filing for divorce in order to scare him into coming back. I heard from a wife who said: "my husband left me about six weeks ago. He said that he felt that he needed to live on his own for a while in order to determine if he wanted to stay married or separate. Things have been deteriorating in our marriage, but I was still surprised by this. I would never walk out on him and I was very disappointed that he would walk out on me. Since he's left, we do speak pretty regularly. We even see one another sometimes. There are occasions when our meetings or dates go very well and there are times when we argue. Still, I believe that we have more good times than bad. I've asked my husband to come back home because it's very hard to resolve anything when he's living somewhere else. But he's resistant. He says that he needs more time. I'm getting very tired of waiting. I feel like he has no incentive to come back and that he can just stay away for as long as he feels like it while I can only wait in response. So I almost feel the need to do something to hurry him along. I'm tempted to file for divorce and see if that doesn't scare him enough to get him to come back. Is this is a good idea? What it work?"

While I have no ability to say if this plan would work, I have no reservations saying that I think it's a bad idea. I'll tell you why in the following article.

Why This Plan Might Backfire On You: Let's suppose that you decided to go ahead and file for divorce in an attempt to scare him. Let's follow that plan all the way and see what might happen. Of course, there is a chance that your husband may respond exactly as you'd like and will come home out of fear. But, there is another possibility. He could respond unfavorably and not come home. He may decide that if you feel the need to get a divorce, there is little that he can do to stop you. At that point, you'd only have a couple of options. You could actually go through with the divorce that you don't really want. Or, you could not follow through on the divorce. And, if you did this, you would certainly reveal that you were only playing games, and, as a result, your husband has even less incentive to come home.

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So of these three scenarios, only one is even remotely favorable. The scenario where he comes home out of fear at least gets him home. But is this really a huge victory? Sure, he's home and that can be a very positive thing. But he's probably home at a high price. Because both of you know that he is only there because you forced his hand. This might cause a good deal of resentment and anger. You might even be insecure because you might suspect that he doesn't really want to be with you. And, worse than that, you haven't really addressed any of the problems that lead him to leave in the first place. Instead, you're only introduced fear into an already difficult situation.

So, in my opinion, none of these options are particularly good ones because they don't really give you what you want. And what you truly want and need is for him to very willingly come home with an enthusiastic and cooperative heart. You want for him to be willing to work with you to make your marriage better so that neither of you want to leave in the future.

The Better Alternative: I know from experience that forcing his hand is often not the answer. I do understand how you feel. When my husband left me, I had no patience whatsoever and I wanted for him to come home on my time frame and not on his. But the more I pushed, the less he wanted to come home and the more our situation deteriorated. It wasn't until I changed strategies that things improved. Once I backed off and allowed him to come to me, everything changed for the better.

So to answer the question posed, I actually doubt that filing for divorce would make him come home. And, even if it did work and he did return home, he wouldn't be there completely willingly. To me, this is quite a risky plan that could well backfire. I believe the better choice is change strategies and instead encourage him to come back through calculated behaviors rather than trying to force his hand and running the risk of him waiting to see if you will actually go through with it.

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When you feel that there is no spark anymore. When your connection with your partner seems to be missing. When both of you are not as affectionate to each other as before. With these, you may say to yourself that this is just normal stuff that is going on in a marriage and that every married couple goes through this stage.

But this normal stuff that you are referring to is actually the main reason why divorce happens. This is the very reason why you should not think of it this way. You should be able to know how to identify a marriage in crisis.

One reason to determine if you have a marriage crisis in your hands is through the kind of work that you do. If you have been buried in your job lately or have been busy focusing on your children and your extended family, you may have taken for granted your own marriage.

If your marriage is in crisis, there are certainly a few things you can do in the hope of saving it.

Just try to remember that what keeps your children and your work strong is a stronger marital relationship. You are more comfortable at work if you know that your relationship with your spouse is rock steady.

There is always help waiting for you if you think that your marriage is in crisis. This article can help you in identifying the common problems that come with marriage. If you want to save your marriage, be committed in doing so.

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

Here are some of the signs that you can look out for as these are some of the signs that your marriage may be in crisis.

Resentment

If both of you cannot stand each other, you have a big problem. You have to sit down and talk about why you resent each other. The cause may be that one of you feels like he/she has been carrying more responsibilities as compared to the other. This could lead into insults, no romance, silence and even violence.

Lack of Communication

When you seldom talk to each other and limit your conversations to instructions and shopping lists, you have a very big problem. A lack of communication means that both of you do not want to share what is on their mind anymore.

Personality Disconnect

When you feel like you do not know your partner anymore, you may tend to think that you do not love him/her anymore. You are starting to observe things about your spouse that you do not like. Previously, you really did not even take notice of them but lately you have been inexplicably bothered by them. This indicates that your marriage is in crisis.

Do not be surprised if your spouse feels the same way towards you. In order to have a happy marriage, loving is not enough but you should also like each other.

Next, click here now to find out why your spouse is lying to you about the reasons they want a divorce. Follow the information step by step and you will discover the truth, cut through the lies and pain, stop divorce dead in its tracks, and rebuild the strong, intimate marriage you've always wanted... even if your spouse doesn't want to!

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If you find yourself asking the question can I save my marriage?, you're in good company. Millions of folks are looking for the same answers. The good news is a bad marriage can be saved. Marriage experts agree that there are 3 critical steps every couple must take to get back on track.

1. Figure Out What The Real Problem Is

Oftentimes, we focus on the wrong thing. For example, a wife might accuse her husband of "being lazy" when what she really needs is his attention. Or, a husband who spends too much time with his buddies is only doing so because his wife nags him to death.

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2. Commit To Working Out What Needs To Be Done

If you're serious about addressing the question can I save my marriage?, you have to sit down to talk through the problems you've identified. Just break the problem down and figure out what needs doing. So, if you realize you're both drifting apart, decide how often a week you can spare time to spend together.

3. Allocate Time And Energy To Whatever Solutions You've Worked Out

A plan is no good without acting upon it. So put in the time, energy, effort to do what you need to. If you've figured out you need to spend time together, make a specific date, say Friday at 8 pm. Then make it a point to get a dinner reservation, book movie tickets, dress up for the occasion.

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It's time to move beyond the shock and sadness of facing a marriage in crisis and do something about it. If you are reading this article my guess is that you marriage is screwed up and you are looking for a solution to save it. While my regular readers will tell you that a tone like this is somewhat unusual for me, there are people in your situation who need to hear the message in this way.

Nobody wants to hear from their husband or wife that the marriage is over. Divorce isn't normally something that enters our minds when we get married. So fine, you weren't expecting it, but it's happened to you! What are you going to do about it? Cry and moan that your life is over? Beg your spouse to give you another chance? Yell and scream that it isn't fair? Try and make them feel guilty? Threaten to kill yourself? Stalk and spy and follow them all over town? Do you realize how pathetic and weak you look? How undesirable you have suddenly become! Would you want to be with someone like that? Well neither does your spouse! There is a better way.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

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The cold hard reality is, those actions I just outlined above are almost certain to destroy any chance of reconciliation. If you have already done any of these things, please cut it out while there is still time. There are specific things you must do and say and specific ways that you must behave that are critical to ensuring that you can save your marriage.

Here are a couple of hints:

- People want what they can't have

- Confident, happy healthy people are attractive to others

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

Author's Bio: 

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There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying... Visit Save The Marriage to find out more.

Looking for love and romance can be challenging. Discuss your marriage problems on our forum. We can help you find a great loving relationship! Go to: Marriage Forum