How To Get My Wife Back When She Wants A Divorce: Wife Filed For Divorce Will She Change Her Mind

Marriage is full of both good times and bad times. No one ever truly knows what they're getting into when they march down the aisle on their wedding day. Obviously, there are going to be challenges regardless of how deeply you love your wife. Most of those problems can be overcome and you find that it just further strengthens the bond that you two share. However, sometimes something comes up that feels overwhelming and unsolvable. If the conflict is very serious your wife may pull back and start to consider a future without you. When she wants a divorce, and you don't, you have some work ahead of you.

When she wants a divorce you're obviously going to first feel panic and then uncertainty. It's hard to fathom how you can turn things around again to the point where she not only wants to work on the marriage but is deeper in love with you. It's possible though and it's all about how you handle the situation right now.

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Agreeing to a divorce isn't something you should ever do if it's not what you want. Some women will bring up the idea in haste, when they're angry or upset with their husband. If he agrees to it because he feels overwrought, the relationship could actually fall apart forever, even though that wasn't the intention of either person.

Before you do anything, tell your wife that you're not ready to take that step yet. Be calm when you say this and if she is insistent that a divorce is truly what she desires, suggest a separation instead. This also seems like a step in the wrong direction, but it's a temporary solution to her need to have some distance. It can also work in your favour because it will give her an opportunity to spend time away from you which may help her to realize that she needs to be with you.

The foundation of your marriage has to be open and active communication. You need to talk with your wife more and listen to her more intently if she wants a divorce. Many marriages fall apart simply because the couple drifts so far apart that they don't talk about anything of substance anymore.

Make an effort to talk more with your wife. Plan times to talk, whether you two are still living together or not. Encourage her to share what she's feeling and make it clear to her that you are ready to listen and learn and not to react hastily. If you follow through with this and you do absorb what she tells you it can help you to become a better husband and life partner.

Throughout all of this keep telling your wife how much you love and adore her. Let her see that you're not ready to give up on her and that you want and need a future with her. Use this as an opportunity to really show your wife that you believe you two still do belong together.

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At the time a couple says I do for better and for worse is just a promise... but when things really come to the worst, standing beside their partner can feel almost impossible. Whether the infidelity faced was emotional or something more, the innocent party often wonders what to do after infidelity.

Often times, it is not that the person wants to leave but they simply can't bear the pain of seeing their spouse daily. This is probably a knee jerk reaction on the part of the innocent party as you are sure that this break away is what you need to have to think about a whole range of questions and answers that you want to discuss.

But realistically the break away doesn't allow you full access to your partner and to have him talk to you face to face. When you have not got contact with them then starts the barrage of texts messages that get out of hand and are void of emotion and can actually make things a lot worse.

When you crave to be on your own is because you want to protect yourself and digest the whole situation and have down time on your own to digest the situation but this time alone only allows you to dredge up too many mental pictures and too many unanswered questions, questions that lead to more whys and when's. And that is why it is better to stay and talk to them when things have calmed down.

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But perhaps the most difficult part of life after infidelity is wondering where you should go from here. Should you continue your marriage or is the person not remorseful enough - and how do you know if the endless echoes of "sorry" are really from the heart?

If you are on the fence about rescuing your marriage, these simple clues can help you decide if their apologies are worth their weight in gold...

• The guilty party claims TOTAL responsibility (those who point blame on the innocent spouse's lack of affection or other shortcomings should be taken as red flags that more work is needed before trust can be reestablished)

• They begin to express a new and genuine appreciation for you

• They cut off ALL communication with the third party

• They agree to marriage counseling or programs through your church

• They are willing to do the work and meet your requirements or rules for reconciliation

When it comes to life after infidelity, do not lost hope. If your partner is expressing remorse and begins making changes there is no reason to think you cannot go on to live a happy and fulfilling life together with a little hard work.

Next, click here now to find out why your spouse is lying to you about the reasons they want a divorce. Follow the information step by step and you will discover the truth, cut through the lies and pain, stop divorce dead in its tracks, and rebuild the strong, intimate marriage you've always wanted... even if your spouse doesn't want to!

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The Issue

Presumably readers of this article have reached it because you are trying to save your own marriage from divorce and probably becoming quite confused about the books and systems on offer. Add to this the stress of what you are probably going through and I assume that if a quick fix was available you'd take it. Lawyers are the only winner in divorce What price then a solution that is workable and avoids the messy procedure that might follow?

The Products on Offer

These vary from books to systems. So does quality and pricing. I discovered quite a few books on Amazon which varied in price from the cheaper "how tos" through to the more expensive analytical tomes which you need a degree in psychology to understand. So if you are looking for a guide on the cheapest solution, I'd suggest you click off this article.

What to Look for

We're all different and we all have varied tales to tell. No one author will claim to know your particular story and yet there are common themes running through most marriage problems such as adultery, mistrust, sexual dissatisfaction, financial, boredom and external factors. Some books assume an adulterous affair and yet this is not necessarily the root cause of the problem. Therefore you need a solution that is in plain English, encompasses most scenarios and is easy to digest and to implement.

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The "wheat from the chaff"

Let's have another look at our checklist. You want something:-

- In plain English

- Is practical easy to implement

- Offers a money back guarantee

- Makes sense

- Is reasonably priced

Amy Waterman's Save My Marriage Today is one such solution. The book is by no means cheap, so it just about meets the pricing category, but it does tick the other boxes. The basic premise is that you should remove the stress that's making the problem worse and allow a rational conversation to happen between the two parties. This doesn't mean "giving in" or anything about "winners and losers" it's about setting a common ground. There's also a bonus

This common ground will vary from couple to couple. If you are, by your own admission, seen to be at fault then it naturally follows that you might need to work harder to resolve the issue. And yet Waterman does suggest that even in the most extreme circumstances, you remove the stress first before operating her step by step approach.

Verdict

I could have offered a few solutions here. But, from my own personal experience, I insist that Time is the major factor. It's not as if you can trial three or four systems and can afford failures at any price. You want to approach the problem immediately and start offering solutions. The stakes are too high to risk.

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While marriages might be planned in heaven, they are known to run into troubled waters right here on earth. There is no dearth of reasons that lead to marital discord, and some of these include unresolved conflicts, extra-marital affairs, intimacy issues, fighting excessively, ineffective communication, busy schedules, suffocating partners, etc. In each of these scenarios, one can try to save marriage from divorce as long as the right approach is used.

Understand that you can save marriage from divorce even if your spouse has had an affair, if your spouse feels he/she doesn't love you anymore, and even if your spouse says he/she wants a divorce. While there in no secret formula that can help save marriage from divorce, do realize that if you put in the required effort with sincerity (and a good plan), there is every chance that you can save your marriage from ending.

What You Shouldn't Do:

Ensure that you do not try to force your spouse to understand what caused the problem, because this could be viewed as 'your' point of view. Moreover, this could make your spouse feel that you aren't ready to accept the problems that exist in your marriage, and that you simply want to shift the blame. Crying and begging to reconcile is also a strict no, as this might also work as a deterrent. Giving into your spouse's every demand is not a solution either, as you could soon end up feeling used. Desperation will not help either.

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If you are following professional advice, do try to steer clear of behaviour that would lead to more strife in your already troubled marriage. Avoid seeking advice from friends/family, as even though the advice would be well meant, there is every possibility that they might end up taking sides, and this could lead to more problems.

What You Should Do:

If you feel that you and your spouse are meant to be together until 'death do you part', then you should be willing to do everything that can save marriage from divorce. First up, you need to identify what the problem is, and then take remedial measures to address the problem at hand. A good thing to do would be to seek advice from a professional who is associated with this field. Bear in mind that marriage counsellors and the likes carry relevant experience to guide you through this process, and often help scores of couples.

Remember that divorce really isn't the only option if your marriage is facing a problem, all the more so when children are involved. Of course, there are marriages that are better off when ended, but this is not always the case. Also, who is to say that divorce is your best option even before you've tried to save marriage from divorce? The least you owe to yourself and your spouse is to try and resolve your differences. The rest will follow.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

Author's Bio: 

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There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying... Visit Save The Marriage to find out more.

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