I Want To Save My Marriage What Am I Doing Wrong: Things To Do To Save A Marriage

Are you totally and absolutely sure that you want to save your relationship? If your answer to that is definitely "yes", that's great... But there is another important question you need to answer, and I really want you to really take a moment to consider it deeply before you answer it...

Stop right now and take a look at the current state of your relationship... Think about how it is today and what it was like previously. Look at your spouse... Your life partner! Providing you can encourage them to work with you and change with you and create a new relationship based on what you want, rather than bad habits... Is this really the person that you want to spend your life waking up with?

This is a question you definitely want to have a good feeling about answering positively!

And if you can't, you need to take time out and maybe think about your other options instead? So think about it for a for a moment and only read on if you're ready to honestly answer "yes" to that question...

So... Hopefully, if you're still here you've decided to save your relationship... Yes? That's fantastic! Now it's time to look at how to really change your direction and create the relationship that you've been dreaming of having!

The tragedy with the high rate of breakups is that I believe so many of them could easily have been prevented if the people involved had known what they needed to do, step by step. And now you've decided to be committed to your relationship (and the work required), this means that you hopefully will not only have a great relationship, but also you won't have to be yet another divorce or break up statistic.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

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Alright... So now you've made a commitment to stick with your relationship, let's get on with it. It's now time to start the work to turn it around!

A great first step is to make a decision that from today, for the next 6 months you're not even going to contemplate the idea of divorce or break up at all (regardless of what you see and experience in your relationship). For this time period, whenever any fearful thoughts of divorce, or breakup enter your head you will need to remind yourself of your decision, and then take a breath and allow these thoughts to just drift away completely. This isn't necessarily going to be easy, but you have said you want to rebuild your relationship, and this is where the work is.

You may find that right now you're the one who has more of a "conscious" or "apparent" interest in working on the relationship. If this is the case for the moment, that's okay. And this will change if you follow the steps that I'll tell you about, but just for the time being you need to accept your role in this way, because if this is the case you're probably going to have to be the one who does more of the "changing" work (at first!). It's human nature... Just like the person who gets hungrier earlier or more often is typically forced to think about meals more than the other. The person who (initially) has a stronger inclination to work on the relationship will typically have to put in the work to do the changing at first. But don't worry about this - it will change as your spouse starts to reap the benefits of your work on the relationship.

1. Think about what your relationship was like when you first met

Ask yourself what it was about your spouse that you fell in love with originally. Then look into their eyes and see if the person you initially fell in love with is still present. Are they still in there somewhere? Spend time being with each other talking about what you loved about each other when you met or fell in love... Try to see each other in that light again. What did you do that you both enjoyed? Why did you stop doing that? Where did the laughter, fun, smiles and peace go? Talk about this with your spouse and get curious about what they feel and think about it!

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

2. Start to talk to each other more

Make a conscious effort to build your connection and really give yourselves permission to get to know each other from scratch. Ask questions about each other's experiences of life and of the relationship! Talk about what you both want from the relationship and what you both need that you're not getting at the moment. Be willing to listen to each other and don't judge the other's experience as invalid, wrong or unbelievable. Talk about the pain and hurt that really are a very natural and "normal" part of any marriage or relationship, and take the time to really look at where you both stopped feeling nurtured or valued by each other. This conversation has a lot of benefits.

3. Get clear on what stopped working

This is a crucial step... Because unless you know what stopped working, it's very hard to recreate your life together. Really try to understand what stopped working, or what needs weren't met. Try to talk about it together. Naturally, if you're the one who wants to work more, you could possibly need to be a little patient to get your spouse to talk to you about this, but understand their resistance (as a normal response that is triggered by painful or unsuccessful experiences) and be creative in how you get them to open up with you.

Those are a few good starters. Make sure you remind yourself that there really is no such thing as a perfect relationship. They only exist in fairy tales and in movies, so don't be too hard on each other or impatient with each other.

As I said, this really is just the beginning of your work, but if you follow these steps, they're a great start to help you open up the lines of communication between you and start to turn your relationship around.

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Are you feeling alone and hurt? Maybe you are feeling hopeless, like things may never get better. Perhaps you have even begun to beg your family and friends "help save my relationship"... or maybe you are too embarrassed to talk to anyone about what went wrong, feeling as though they will never think of you the same way. No matter what the case may be we want you to know that we hear you... and we want to help you win back the heart of your mate. For all the most important questions that are related to "help save my relationship" - we have a helpful and timely answer.

Where do I begin to salvage this?

Start at the beginning. What have you done, said or acted like that could have contributed to the falling out? When you pinpoint your hand in the unraveling you can begin to make important changes.

What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.

What about my mate's downfalls?

While you are every bit as important as your significant other now is the time to do what you can to better yourself. Many times, nagging someone about their shortcomings will only make things worse. Especially if things have gotten so bad that you are begging "help save my relationship!"

How do I make changes?

Start now. Don't wait until your spouse or mate agrees to get back together. Showing that you are working on yourself behind the scenes allows your mate to see that you are serious about making a change. Go drastic and don't be afraid to look silly. It's better to look like you are trying to0 hard than not trying hard enough.

As you journey through the difficulty of change, may you know that you are not alone. We hope that we have answered some of your "help save my relationship" questions. If you need further advice, please seek the help of a counselor or pastor. Some are even available online.

Next, click here now to find out why your spouse is lying to you about the reasons they want a divorce. Follow the information step by step and you will discover the truth, cut through the lies and pain, stop divorce dead in its tracks, and rebuild the strong, intimate marriage you've always wanted... even if your spouse doesn't want to!

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If you have already made a final decision to get a divorce or are having an affair that you are unwilling to end, the answer would be no. If you believe that your marriage is worth your complete love and dedication and deserves a second chance and you want to truly learn how to communicate better with your mate, then the answer would be yes.

A benefit of attending a marriage seminar goes beyond the couple and extends to your children by showing them what a committed, thriving marriage should look like. Didn't you learn what a marriage is by watching your parents? For better or worse, it was our best examples of what a marriage is suppose to be like. Most learning occurs by watching those closest to us.

Statistics say that more than 50% of marriage end in divorce, but the truth is ALL marriage have challenges. It is not by chance that a marriage will be successful. It takes commitment, a new perspective at times, willingness to let go of the past hurts and regrets and move into the future together. Time will pass whether we like it or not, what we decide to do and how to live during that time is entirely up to us.

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

If your nightly dinner conversation has been reduced to silence, it might be a sign that your marriage is need of some assistance. Yelling and harsh words are common when a partner feels that are not being heard and could be another sign that your marriage is in trouble. Trust is a major component in a marriage and if you feel that this has been damaged in some way, the red light has been turned on to seek help immediately.

During a marriage workshop you will learn the skills to build better communication, gain the perspective to change our actions and reactions to each other, open your eyes to the differences in gender and how they think.

In small groups, usually 3 or 4 couples, there is a sharing of stories, concepts and tips to use on a daily basis between the other couples that will be attending. Leaving you with a connected feeling that you are not alone in this journey. What is learned is very helpful when applied.

A marriage seminar can be an afternoon, a weekend or a week long retreat. Whatever the time span, the setting is usually a quiet, serene space where outside distractions are kept at a minimum. At the end, many couples report that they feel refreshed and invigorated.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

Have you been the victim of the most painful experience put upon a marriage. If so, you are in the 50 or more percent of spouses that have endured an affair from the one person that you trusted the most. An affair not only affects the couple involved, but also children and the extended family and friends.

Since we all have the tendency to be unfaithful, the best way to avoid an affair is not get involved in the first place. Place your spouse above your own needs and desires; commit yourselves to not be the cause of each others unhappiness. Meeting your spouses' needs like communication, affection, sexual fulfillment, companionship, doing fun things together might be a few to consider. Spending quality time together, not giving each other the 'leftovers' of your day might avoid a roaming eye.

If you decide to engage in an affair, and it is a conscience choice, and you are discovered - there are ways to rebuild your marriage. Infidelity is a devastating experience, but when couples put the effort into reconciliation, most marriages do recover.

What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.

You might say "I didn't know anything about it", but in truth you sense there might be something going on. An affairs takes time and the cheating spouse uses all types of excuses to be away from home, telephone and credit card receipts are not hidden from sight. You notice the emotional void and the bedroom spark has gone out.

The memory of an affair can't be erased, but over time, it will become just a bad dream. Even after the forgiving stage, forgetting can linger for years after. Forgiving is not so easy and the offended party is has great hesitation to forgive - especially if the offender hasn't learned anything from the experience. The apology must be sincere, at the least. Sometimes the offender just doesn't want to bring up the incident or change the bad behavior and just wants the offended spouse to ignore and forget the pain suffered during this time.

The first thing to do to restore your marriage is to put down your weapons, avoid anger, demands on each other and disrespect toward your spouse. The relationship needs to become safe for each other again. Once that safety is established again, the major repair work will require, on both parties, not to do anything that would hurt each other. Everything done or said from this moment on will take your mates feelings into consideration. Marriage counseling and/or seminars are excellent tools to help restore the cracks in your relationship.

Do not despair, there is hope and restoration to be found. You can move on from infidelity if you are willing.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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Now you can stop your divorce or lover’s rejection...even if your situation seems hopeless! Visit Stop Marriage Divorce

There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying... Visit Save The Marriage to find out more.

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