How To Get Respect From Wife: What To Do When Your Wife Doesn't Respect You

The word "submission" is an act of yielding to the authority or control of another. The very first time I read about submission in the Bible, I quickly developed this mindset concerning the major problem that human beings have - possession without understanding; assignment without instruction and having everything but not knowing why. This is why one of the greatest challenges of a man remains his inability to understand life.

So many families today end up in divorce because the principles of God concerning marriage are still strange to man. There are fundamental principles and laws that regulate marriage function and operation. In essence, without knowledge and understanding of the basic, fundamental laws of God regarding marriage, everything goes off-track and ends in failure. That is to say that when you lack understanding, you will continually use the wrong formula to operate. Little wonder families are in crisis today.

Marriage is God's idea. It is based on the principle of give and take. The mathematics of marriage was done by no other person, but God Almighty Himself! He willed the coming together of two distinct personalities, opposite in sex, who before now could be regarded as total strangers to one another. In marriage, TWO become ONE, never to be separated till death. This divine arrangement is suddenly receiving a backstroke today. Most couples see themselves as being more than ONE as they pursue personal interests as against God's idea of ONENESS. As they try to unravel the mystery of marriage they involve themselves in self-destructive characters that split rather than unite them. It is very common today to see couple remembering scriptural passages only when there is a conflict of interest.

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Most men take undue advantage of their leadership positions at home while the women are busy towing the paths of disloyalty. Counseling couples who feel that they know more than you can be a great task. I once encountered one who wanted me to "untie the knots" and call it a quit for both of them. The argument that saved the situation was that "I did not tie the knots for them in the first place". So, I advised that a "divorce invitation cards" be printed and shared the same way they did when they wanted to wed. However, they MUST make sure that the same people, of the same number and the same preparations and arrangements that were made on the wedding day should be repeated, nothing missing. Then, they should feel free to invite the Minister that joined them to come and do the "un-joining" ceremony.

I got them at it. It's time now to talk like adults. The woman told me that her husband lost his job and had remained without a job making him unable to shoulder his responsibilities at home. That is, she has been using her salary to take care of the family's need, and so the man is no longer fit to have her as a wife. She made reference to where the Bible describes such a person as being worse than an infidel. The man had earlier told me that the wife had an attitude problem, and is very unwilling to submit to his leadership of the home, even when he had a job.

The Bible tells us that the duty of a man is to provide, sustain, nourish, uphold and support, whereas the woman is to support her husband and also respect him. In a situation as above, where the man has no means of steady income, and the wife is earning wages, what happens? I have seen so many women brag about it, telling whoever that cares to listen that they are now in-charge of feeding their families. Some even go further to instigate their children against their fathers.

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As I said earlier, when we become possessors without understanding what we have, we mess them up. Much of what people face in marriage today is traceable to the beginning. How you begin a thing matters a lot. It tells how much you know about it. For us to know and understand the vows we make in marriage, it requires that we know God, the maker and originator of marriage. Without the knowledge of God in our lives, the issue of marriage will continue to be a mystery where no one can succeed.

Notwithstanding, it is not every marriage that ends in shame. Millions of couples are happily married and live a good life together. In such families, they understand the difference between marriage and bachelorhood. In such families nothing belongs to the wife or the husband as a person - they share all things in common. I still remember when I was a child. My mother bought us a pair of shoes each, and told us to thank our father when he returns home. We actually embarrassed the old man with so many "Thank you Daddy!" When he discovered the reason for the numerous "thank you Daddy", his acknowledgement still had tinge of a misplaced gratitude in it. That is when I discovered that our dearly father had no hand in the presents. The more we begin to create boundaries, the more satan gains more grounds in his attack to our lives.

As a man, you do not need to capitalize on the fact that your MUST submit to you to destroy your marriage. As a woman, you should equally know that one of the reasons why you were joined together with your husband was your willingness to swear "for better, for worse". This means "whether good or bad", the marriage MUST continue. Therefore, patience and perseverance should be among the virtues we need for a lasting relationship. Marriage cannot always be a bed of roses, but can be likened to a book of many pages, the more you read, the better your understanding.

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First of all I want to say sorry for the pain that you're feeling right now. I know hearing your wife say that that she loves you but she is not in love with you truly hurts, and can be devastating. And when I say that it hurts it's because I personally KNOW that it hurts, because I've been there before.

The funny thing was that I wasn't shocked to hear this, but it still hurt. My marriage was suffering at the time already, and I had a pretty good feeling that she wasn't feeling too many happy thoughts or feelings about me... but it still knocked the wind out of me a bit.

So what do you do when you hear something like this? What do you do when you get basically socked in the stomach by the person that you thought was closest to you in the world?

Well, frankly not much. There's not much that you can do actually. But many men will make the mistake and do a lot of things that they shouldn't do which makes the situation worse. Since you don't want to make that mistake here are...

3 Things I Shouldn't Do When My Wife Says She Loves Me But Is Not In Love With Me!

First... Don't panic!

What? Yes you read that right, don't go getting all panicky and screw things up worse for yourself. First of all, who knows if she even meant it? People say things that they don't mean all the time when they're angry, or hurt, or sad.

I mean think about it, if she said "I hate you" would you really believe her? Maybe, but probably not!

What if she does mean it? Well then you have to take a step back and see it for what it is. She loves you - that's still something. She's not in love with you. Maybe it's not great, but the thing is people fall in and out of love all of the time with each other.

Are you always "In Love" with your wife? And what does that even mean? If you really think about it, you probably will realize that you're truly not!

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

I once was watching a show where they interviewed an older couple, and asked them the secret of their successfully long marriage. And the interviewer asked how did you two never fall out of love after 50 years (it may have been more actually).

The wife just laughed and responded with "Oh we did fall out of love with each other, we just never happened to both do it at the same time". So it happens in the best and longest of marriages, but you just have to consider the fact that you're still "in love" with your wife because you went searching for an article like the one you're reading now.

Second... Don't get angry about this and start fighting. Very often when we get our feelings hurt (I know at least I do) we get angry, and want to hurt back. This may have happened already, but don't carry that on. If it hasn't happened then don't let it, because it WILL NOT do anything but make the matter worse. Trust me on that.

There's no quicker way to make someone fall even more out of love with you than to try to hurt them and be mean to them. It's not going to solve anything, even though you probably very much feel like retaliating in this way. It's natural, it's human, but fight it as much as you can. But that being said, pay very close attention...

Third Don't Become a Blubbering Idiot and Start Kissing Her Butt... A lot of men have gone their entire lives kissing the butt of the women that they wanted positive attention from.

It seems logical but that's the last thing that you should do. Looking needy and like a big whiney sissy isn't going to do anything but push her away more.

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You sort of have to man up here, and well...ignore her. Give her some space.

I know that you're thinking "When my wife says she loves me but is not in love with me anymore, the last thing that I want to be doing is playing games". And you're completely right, but it's actually not a game, it's just the best way to handle the situation.

To be honest, your marriage may have simply lost a bit of the intrigue that it once had. The sense of uncertainty (a natural human NEED) may not be there anymore. Sometimes you have to give a person the chance to see what they're missing.

This doesn't mean to be mean to her, give her a cold shoulder, nothing like that. Just don't slobber all over her, and give her space. I can't guarantee it, but there's a good chance that when she sees that you're not begging on your knees for her to love you, that she'll come back around very quickly.

Now here's the important part. Your marriage is in this position for a reason. It didn't just happen to get to this point. But right now, going after traditional marriage counseling is likely not going to work, and frankly your wife probably wouldn't respond well to it anyways.

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"I don't want a divorce, but she does." It sounds like a normal sentence, but it does mean everything to you. Your life will never be the same anymore. The woman who was supposed to be with you for the rest of your life has decided to leave you, whether you like it or not.

Is there anything you can do?

1. If you are telling me "I don't want a divorce, but she does", it means that your marriage is in trouble and your wife just wants to exit the relationship with you. If this is the case, then you have your right to know the reason why she decided to break things up. However, it is very possible that she is not going to tell you exactly what it is. But you need to make it as clear as possible. So, what you can do is to ask her questions.

However, when you are asking questions, just try to make sure that your questions are clear and specific. Don't try to ask questions that seem like you are attacking her, such as, "Are you dating someone else behind my back?" I know that you might feel good when asking the question like this, but it is not going to do you any good either.

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2. If you are telling me "I don't want a divorce, but she does", and you've already followed as mentioned above, then it's time for you to answer something to yourself. What you need to do is to try to be alone for at least half an hour. Then, just try to ask yourself whether you really do want to save your marriage or not. If the answer is yes, why do you want to save it? If the answer is no, why don't you want to save it?

After answering yourself as mentioned, then you may give yourself another ten minutes to release your emotions. You can do whatever you want to do to get it all out. When you are done, just relax and try to take some deep breaths.

3. If you are telling me "I don't want a divorce, but she does", then you need to be well prepared. However, there is one thing that you need to know. She has been thinking about leaving you for quite some time. You may know or may not know about this. If this is the case, then it does mean that she is years ahead of you. This is the reason why you need to be well prepared as mentioned.

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One thing I discovered in human beings is that each of us expects to be respected and honoured no matter the size, level of education or status in society. As a result, we expect to be noticed and spontaneously be acknowledged in our special areas or skills, talents, or personal attributes, so as to warm our hearts. Those who succeed as leaders are the ones who have mastered the art of paying attention - REALLY paying attention and acknowledging others. The reason is plain to see. Each of us has woven into the fabric of his or her being a yearning for attention. Absence of it is a psychic pain few can endure. The tearful child tugging at his mother's skirts, the rebellious teenager, the philandering husband, the nagging wife, the rioter in the streets - all to some extent are voicing the same despairing cry: Pay Attention to Me!

For all I know, a man's choice of wife can either be his making or his breaking. She is either a delight or a disaster. She becomes a disaster when she tries to take over the man's position in the; home, thus becoming lousy and bossy, and consequently overthrowing the man into a corner of the home. When this happens, she becomes rottenness in his bones instead of being a crown on his head (Proverbs 12:4).

God created the woman to be a companion and a suitable helper for the man - to support him and help him succeed in life (Genesis 2:18-22). She is equally to seek to fulfill her own godly potential in a unique way and be a vessel of honour through which God will fulfill His purpose in the lives of every member of her household. The woman's role in the life of a man, therefore, is not that of a controller or competitor, but that of a supporter and encourager. Whatever abilities, talents, gifts, resources and privileges she has must be used for the benefit of her husband and her home. She may be richer and more educated than her husband but she still must be submissive and not assertive in order to enjoy her marriage (Ephesians 5:22-23, 33; 1 Peter 3:5; 6).

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

It goes without saying then that an ideal wife who will make the marriage happy must be tender, obedient, loving, hardworking, understanding, enduring and full of wisdom. She must know when to keep quiet and when it is time for active purposeful talking or listening thereby contributing truly to mutually satisfying conversation (James 1:19). She is expected to make time for her husband, promoting love, warmth and affection, share humour and relaxation. She must be thoughtful of her husband's feelings, empathize with love, express appreciation and demonstrate affection all the time. As she empathizes with him she makes herself more loving and lovable to him. Their hearts become knitted together in such a way that they'll both think alike and she'll be able to plan to meet his physical and emotional needs well ahead of time. Doing this will also make her indispensable to her husband and his heart will safely trust in her.

Her husband may have his shortcomings, yet her duty is not to sit in judgment over him but to counsel, advise and to pray for him. She is to lift him up to God in prayer without ceasing to perfect His works of grace in his life and keep him on his feet. Essentially, she must be on her knees so that he can be on his feet.

The grace and authority to direct the home is given to man and not to the woman. So, women are not expected to revolt, or take over the leadership of the home, rather, she is encouraged to play her own role well so as to attract God's blessing and reward.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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