How To Rebuild Your Marriage During A Separation: We're Separated But I Want To Save My Marriage

For one reason or another, sometimes a marriage just doesn't work out. Whether it was because you didn't really know the person before you married them, or whether it was because you got married in Vegas while both of you were completely hammered. Whatever the reason, there are actions that you can take to mend your relationship before you decide to throw in the towel. Here are some great steps to marriage separation reconciliation.

One of the first steps is that you have to step back and look at the problem. If you need help with this, it's OK to see a counselor if it will do you good. You need to look at the problem from outside the box and see if you can't pinpoint where you started having problems. If it was when you got that new job and started working longer then see if you can't work from home to alleviate some of the issue. Or maybe it was when you got pregnant with the first baby and never got a honeymoon. If this is the case, send the children to their grandparent's for a week and take that romantic trip and see if things don't improve.

The second steps to marriage separation reconciliation are that you have to notice the attitudes and actions that have caused this problem and see that the problem is not the other person. There have most probably been a lot of things said on both parts that are causing animosity toward the other and you need to bring it up in a calming time and talk about it. What makes you feel like this? Where is this attitude coming from? If you can figure these things out, then you have started the road to recovery.

The last steps to marriage separation reconciliation are that you need to forgive one another and move on. Without forgiving the other, you are still wanting to see them hurt. This is not a positive way to go about keeping the relationship in tact or even trying to repair it. Without forgiving, there is little chance of moving on.

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Admitting there is a problem is the beginning. Just by doing this, you have immediately created the possibility of fixing things. Things haven't been going well between you and your spouse recently and you have decided that enough is enough. Well done for being honest with yourself. It might sound silly, but so many people find it so difficult just to do this. Now, wouldn't it be great if you could walk up to someone, say to them "Help me save my marriage" and they handed you a key and it was magically fixed? In your case, you have maybe looked online to see if the help is there for you. Well, I have some good news. The help IS here for you. The bad news is that you are going to have to take some important steps first so that you are in the best position possible to eliminate the possibility of divorce and wake up next to your spouse every day with a smile on your face all over again.

Step 1 - Take Responsibility

You have already partly done this by admitting there is a problem and seeking some help. In addition though, looking back and seeing where you think YOU have gone wrong in the marriage will be of great benefit. Sure, we all fall into the 'it's their fault!' way of thinking, no matter how happy we are in our partnership. This is especially true when things really aren't going well and the d word begins to enter your head. Yes, you can wait for your spouse to change their negative behaviours, to improve their communication skills, to stop doing things that are contaminating the marriage but you may be waiting a long time, and playing the waiting game is only going to lead to frustration.

It's extremely likely(almost guaranteed, in fact) that you have BOTH contributed to the current state of your marriage so if only one of you(for now) can look back and identify what they have and haven't done then it is going to be a massive step in the right direction. It can be very difficult to look within and pinpoint where we have fallen short, but unless we do so, then we can't improve on these things. Think about how you have approached your relationship with your spouse. How have you communicated with them? How have you tried to meet their emotional, physical, spiritual needs? How much time have you spent with them? How much support have you offered them? And on and on. If you can do this and come back with a solid list of things you know you can improve on, then you are firmly heading in the right direction.

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Step 2 - Decide To Work On Your Flaws

Admitting we have flaws and areas we need to improve on is tough, there's no getting away from it. But that's how we become better. Maybe you feel that you raise your voice too much when having a conversation with your spouse about your marriage. Next time....try your best NOT to raise your voice. Easier said than done, maybe - but small changes like this can have a massive impact. Maybe you feel you don't make enough time to spend with your partner. You can try to make that little bit more. They will most likely see this, and appreciate it.

You might be wondering what your partner's role in all this is. What are THEY doing to make things better? Well, somebody has to make the first move and it might as well be you. Think about it, if they were doing all this soul-searching and trying to improve on things, would YOU be receptive to it? Would you appreciate it? Of course you would. Only one of you needs to get the ball rolling at first. If we can work on ourselves first, we can then come together and work on the marriage as a whole.

Another way of looking at it is this - you go to your spouse and say to them "We need to save our marriage! What are you going to do about it?". Maybe they would respond "Yeah, I agree - let's get to work!". In my experience, that's quite unlikely though. More likely is that they might possibly get defensive and be unsure of just HOW to go about making things better. By all means, let them know that you feel things aren't good at the moment, but you want to work on it and are working on your own part in things right now. That will surely go down a lot better with them.

Step 3 - Get Some Professional and Practical Help and Guidance

You've admitted there is a problem, you have taken responsibility for your part in things and you have decided to work on your flaws. Those are MASSIVE steps towards saving your marriage already....and your partner hasn't even been involved in any of it yet. Marriage doesn't come with a manual, so seeking some professional help and guidance is often a very wise option when things go pear-shaped. Professional counseling is always one such option, but that costs money, can be irregular and you have to go through the whole process of convincing your other half to do it. If you feel this is what you and your partner need, then by all means look into it. This type of guidance can be especially useful if your marriage is a volatile one, or if one of you has been unfaithful.

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Another option is private, detailed help that you have access to at any time - online help. You perhaps found this article whilst searching for information and advice to help your marriage. You can go to the next level if you want to though. Amy Waterman's Save My Marriage Today helps couples like you each and every day. A revolutionary and groundbreaking e-course, it can be yours almost immediately and you can put the massive amount of practical help and advice to work straight away.

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Step 4 - Work On Your Marriage Together With Your Partner

You are now ready to put everything you have learned into practice. By now you have taken responsibility, decided to work on your own flaws, and have sought some practical help and guidance. You are now in a great position and a lot of the weight should have been lifted off your shoulders. The chances are that your partner will have seen the positive changes you have made, and will be making positive changes themselves. You could even both be working together to save the marriage already. If you aren't, then you surely will be soon. Your partner needs to go through the same process and steps you did. If you can do it, they can do it, right? Of course they can.

Once you are both making that conscious effort to improve your relationship, things can go from strength to strength. You can be laughing together again. You can be spending quality time together again. You can have the amazing physical relationship you once shared back again. You can be looking to the future together again.

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You may be wondering about ways to save a marriage when nothing seems to be working. Marriage is about understanding how to pitch and catch with your partner. If you are having relationship problems and feel stuck, there needs to be an adjustment in trust and communication, especially if infidelity is involved. Here are 3 simple steps you can take to begin communicating with your spouse again.

1. Be Honest With Each Other

One of the biggest problems a couple will face throughout marriage is dishonesty. If even one of you is being dishonest it becomes very difficult to effectively communicate. Whether infidelity was involved or not, you should both agree to be honest with each other from this point forward. This is one of the easiest ways to save a marriage with little effort.

2. Promise to Share Little Lies

Often times there are certain things a partner is hesitant to be honest about. Marriage is a game of balance that involves trust on every level. If someone has lied about an issue in the past, it is best to simply move on and learn from it. Building trust is one of the essential ways to save a marriage.

3. Realize Communication Takes Time

Communication in a relationship can be described as a certain skill one acquires over a period of time. More communication and emotion is required in a marriage opposed to just dating. Marriage is like planting a seed. It must be nurtured through time with communication and honesty. If it is not, the plant will not grow. This is why it is especially important to always be open minded toward your spouse. Its allows room to grow. These are all great ways to save a marriage and build trust with your partner.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.


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