How To Save Marriage When You Have Religious Differences: Couples With Different Religious Beliefs

When two individuals get married they are combining families along with all of the traditions, joys, sorrows and prejudices that are part of their family's heritages. Interfaith marriages definitely contribute to the complexity of combining families.

On the other hand when two come together in Holy matrimony they become the foundation of future generations. This is a beginning of future generations and the decisions of the newlyweds are what matters.

Interfaith Marriages don't Matter to God

Marriage is an invention of God's. Although God's laws are "defined" through religion His love is the universal component in all religions and the most important reality. While one religion may suggest the worship of God while on your knees and another religion has you standing up while you pray, both religions are praying to the same God. It is the guidance of God's rules for happiness that helped both individuals become good people as interpreted through their family first and religion second... right? The families of both bride and groom sacrificed tremendously in order to protect and properly care for their respective children so when they suddenly announce their intention of marrying outside of their faith it is taken as a rejection of their values and a lack of appreciation for what they did; it is understandable. But it is not a rejection of the parents, at worst it is an assertion of a new beginning.

The Spiritual Aspect of God and His Love Underlines all Religions and all Marriages Marriage is a Spiritual Union

The couple who marries vow to each other with God as their witness, and it is God who sanctifies the marriage. The couple doesn't have to worry about who performs the marriage ceremony; it will still be a Holy matrimony. But they do have to decide how they will raise their children.

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Future Parents must Make Decisions for their own Family

A universal reality is that once a couple joins together in matrimony and leaves the house of their parents they begin a new family and new lineage. Sometimes parents don't understand what that means at first. Because of their love and attachment they insist upon continuing to impose their own values on the new family that they consider to be an offshoot of their own, and it is. But it is independent, taking root in its new soil, and the new couple must choose for themselves the destiny of their family. It is wise and loving for parents to be supportive of whatever decision the couple makes and not try to influence them.

It is very important for the future parents to decide how their children will be raised. After all, marriage in the faith of the children is creating consistency and security for them. Putting off the presumed "shock" is not helpful. Your parents deserve the consideration of your honesty. If they reject you because of your decision you must understand that you knew when you started dating outside your faith that yours may become an interfaith marriage. You chose to put your future in your own hands even if it meant partial or total rejection from your parents and now is not the time to judge them. Let them have time for the reality to sink in. Let them come to a resolution in their own mind and in their own way; no selling or cajoling.

Your Family will be Defined by the Values you Adhere To

Now is the time to practice the art of discussions. In my book Lessons For A Happy Marriage I help couples learn the art of marital discussions. You may wish to review the principles and techniques found there. But in the meantime remember some very important points

1) Be nice - control your behavior no matter how you feel
2) Be understanding - no one has a handle on ultimate truth except God
3) Be loving - care deeply for all you interact with

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"The best thing you could ever give someone is your TIME, because you're giving something that you'll never get back."
- Author Unknown

The amount of time couples give to each other must be inversely proportional to the amount of conflict experienced.

Time equals communication, and communication means information, and information breeds empowerment for both spouses, as partners have the time they both need for reflection and decision-making.

It suddenly occurred to me recently that couple satisfaction has to correlate with the amount of time and effort they put in with their communication. Take my wife and I as an example of this. Our communication is usually of a great standard, but at times we argue briefly on matters we disagree about, simply because we haven't spoken about it, when suddenly there's time pressure to make a decision. Neither of us is in a position of empowerment when a discussion goes awry.

In other words, there isn't the time to devote to quality communication, so we tell each other what we think. Respect gets dropped for a moment because a thing just needs to be done. And we polarise, and it's possible that some unlaundered issues can spring out of the closet that we've been unconsciously hiding away. Both of us can retreat to our corners, and there's no resolving the issue from there. Instead of treating each other as cherished and sacred, pressure situations can be the catalyst for tersely conveyed words.

It's the same in all marriages where there's commitment and passion, amid pressure for a decision.

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Time for communication, on the other hand, facilitates thought and reflection on matters of household business. My wife and I often talk shop on our Tuesday date nights. We both love to plan. Date night isn't just romantic; it's also pragmatic. Better to have the communication there, where thoughts on decisions can be broached, before time runs out. And issues always prove that there was a finite life for any one issue. We talk a fair bit daily about the processes of our lives together. But there will always be a matter or two that we didn't discuss, and that's generally where the conflict comes from - from what wasn't discussed earlier.

And, no matter how much communication there is between a couple, there will always be the issue that catches one or both by surprise. We have to learn not to sweat over small issues, for all issues are small in the scheme of things.

Couples who spend time intentional in their communication endure less conflict and experience more contentedness.

Communication needs to be about investing time and the commitment of intention. Respect follows when we've prioritised time with our partner.

Good marriage can be as simple as removing unnecessary distractions, slowing down, and spending time with the one we love most.

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Many couples need to make SOS calls and save their marriage from total collapse and save their home from the agony of bad marriage, separation and divorce. What do I mean by S.O.S?

S - Shout:! not unto your spouse but onto God. Talk to God about yourself, your spouse and your family life. Let God take over from you and turn your family to what it supposes to be. Your strength cannot do it, you need to talk to the one that manufacture the product call marriage. Who only understand how to make it work, he can repair and renew it. You also need to seek counsel, look from expert or elders with proven testimonies about their own marriage.

O - Operate in Love: No matter what happen, operate in love, always remember that you married your spouse because of love. Let this be your guide, whatsoever you need to do should be done in love. Do not expose secrets that are only known to both of you. Always give room for reconciliation and recreation.

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S - Save your breath: This means to exercise patience; you need high doses of patience to win in your marriage. Be patience with your spouse weaknesses and inadequacies; if your expectations are not yet been met, try to exercise patience. The patience dog eats the fattest bone. Don't expect 100% performance from your spouse; give him or her room to grow. There are so many things you would have to overlook.

Your spouse, been the opposite sex, of different background, personality and temperament will not perform exactly the way you want. Patience with your spouse will help you to understand him or her and appreciate his or her uniqueness. If you really want a great marriage do save your breath, be patience.

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I think women tend to get a raw deal when it comes to finding advice on being a hotwife.

It's true there's lots of information out there on the topic, but most of it is written by men for men; and the material that is written by women seems to be more about what they get up to rather than how to make it work. In other words, it's also written for men.

So I think it's worth now giving some very specific advice to women who are seriously considering taking their husbands up on the deal and who want to have the best chance of making it work instead of blowing up in their faces.

First, be truthful and free with the detail. Sometimes it's hard for a woman who's just had a night of passion with another man to talk to her husband about it. After all, it's not generally done, is it? If you "kiss and tell", it brands you as a "certain kind" of woman.

But not in this case. With hotwifing, he wants to hear every last detail. And I promise you, if you start playing coy and keeping things to yourself, then it really will not end well.

Second, he almost certainly wants to watch. It's not just that he wants to be around so he knows you're safe, but he also wants to see it happening. For him, it's all part of the fantasy.

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The overwhelming majority of men who what their wives to become hotwives have the ultimate fantasy of their wives looking them dead square in the eyes as their lover slowly enters them for the first time.

He wants to see everything. So let him. Don't be shy and try to keep the two things separate. It's part of the price you pay for having such a wonderful, generous and understanding husband.

Third, he wants you to be hot and dirty and to relax. I know a lot of women are uptight about it when their husbands are watching because they think he's going to get upset or angry, even though he's the one who had the idea.

But this is a mistake.

He wants to hear you groaning and moaning and begging your lover for more.

He wants to hear your love making you cum like a train.

He wants to see you are having the fuck of your life.

After a while most hotwives get the hang of thing, but often not before some needless upsets.

If you take this all on board from the outset, you'll have an easier time of things.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

Author's Bio: 

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