How To Stop Divorce And Save Your Marriage: How To Fix A Broken Marriage Without Counseling

If your spouse is filing for divorce, you may find yourself grieving and wondering what happened? You can spend hours drowning in self-pity, but then again, you can make your hours more productive by asking yourself, "how to stop my divorce" and finding methods that will bring your spouse back. Friends are a big help, but unfortunately, your friends may be quite biased, and would probably be blaming your spouse for what happened in your relationship. A better how-to guide on dealing with divorce would be a better source for finding advice if you want to stop your divorce now.

Friends do come in handy when you need a shoulder to cry on in the middle of the night. True friends would try and cheer you up, and help you get through the first days or weeks of the separation. You can share your tears with a good friend, who would offer a ready ear to your grumbling and all those things going around in your head.

However, sooner or later you would have to face the issues, and if you keep asking yourself

"What methods could I use on how to stop my divorce," then brace yourself for a reality check.

Make a list of all the things that may have caused your spouse to walk away from the relationship. Take the time to go down memory lane and remember what did your spouse ask for that you never gave him or her?

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For most men, just coming home to the welcoming arms of a loving wife, who spent some time preparing dinner for him is enough. For most women, having a loving husband next to her watching tv and enjoying a quiet evening with is often enough. What was it that your spouse ever dreamt of that you were not able to deliver, or you were just too uninterested to even take the effort to do?

And now you're left with the question, "Can someone show me how to stop my divorce?" The answer could be right there staring at you, but you don't seem to notice it. Find those things that could have made your spouse happy, which you did not spend enough time or interest on. For women, appreciating their husband's interest on sports may not come easy, but giving a ready ear when he wants to rattle about his recent golf game is really important. For men, simply doing what your wife requests you to do, like changing the baby's diapers from time to time won't hurt, but instead, would go a long way on keeping the relationship smooth.

Sometimes, when you see an older man dating a younger woman, at the expense of his marriage, you wonder why would he risk so much? Often, sex is not the only reason why, but he may easily say that the younger woman pays more attention to him, and seems to genuinely enjoy being with him. The next time you ask yourself, "how can I stop my divorce?, look back and try your best to be more attentive to your spouse's needs.

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When a marriage develops cracks large enough to be visible, most people panic and end up doing all the wrong things in an attempt to save the relationship from falling apart. They want to stall the divorce decision and kiss and make up. But mostly things are not that simple in a marriage and the repair work takes a long time and great amount of patience. If you are trying to save your marriage, the first thing you need to know is what not to do, more than what to do to salvage the situation from further ruin. Here is a list of don'ts to save your marriage:

1. Never make any promise that you cannot keep. Perhaps one of the most important things that your spouse needs is reassurance from you. With your efforts to save your marriage, make it abundantly clear that you have understood the mistakes in the past and you are going to take positive steps to rectify most if not all of them. Sound realistic about achieving your goals and do no end up over-promising and under-delivering.

2. Never give false assurances. In stead, make your sincerity of efforts show. Recollect the factors which were responsible for both of you to fall for each other. Make your partner believe that nothing is lost yet and you can easily bring back those days, provided he or she also lends a helping hand. The genuineness of your intentions can go a long way to save your marriage.

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3. Stop telling your spouse repeatedly how strong your love is. This is not going to soften his or her hardened emotions. You need to show it in action more than words. Chances are that you might have to walk that extra mile to save your marriage, but at the end of the day, this is exactly what you want.

4. Never get into a confrontational mode with your spouse if you want to save your marriage. No amount of rationalizing your decisions or arguments about why the break up happened in the first place is going to break the ice. It is possible that you might be accused wrongly; you might be humiliated in the process to save your marriage, but learn to take in your stride. After all, it is all for a good cause. The more you tell your spouse about his or her own follies the farther they go from you making your task to save your marriage even tougher.

5. In case your spouse hints at a possible divorce, never try to convince him or her otherwise. Never plead with your spouse regarding the injustice that is being done to you, issues related to children, finance, etc. Remember in life, no one is indispensable - and life moves on. In stead, try to show the brighter side of continuing to live with you. To save your marriage, send out gentle reminders of the lovely time both of you once had, the things he or she liked about you and vice versa. In short, make your spouse think positive about you and the home environment. To save your marriage, it becomes doubly difficult when the environment is charged with negative energy.

Hopefully, these simple don'ts would be of help to save your marriage and make you a better manager of relationships.

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Figuring out what to do when your relationship is falling apart can be a daunting task. There are definitely things you should and shouldn't do. I would like to share a few practical tips that will help you realize success in your quest to resuscitate and restore your relationship:

Truthfully Assess Yourself. This is where you have to come clean and recognize what things you have contributed that have damaged the relationship. Be ready to face your faults, admit them, and change them. This will be a very eye-opening exercise, if you will be completely honest with yourself. No one likes to admit when they're wrong, but until you do so, there will be no solutions to the problems. This is not the time to point out the faults and failures of your partner. This is not about making excuses or justifying your actions. Playing the blame game here will absolutely de-rail any chance you have of salvaging your relationship. Being truthful with yourself is an absolute must, and crucial first step, in deciding what to do when your relationship is falling apart.

All Behavior is Motivated. No matter how negative, destructive and unreasonable a person may be, the truth of the matter is that there is a motivation behind that behavior. You need to critique your behavior that is causing a rift in your relationship and figure out the cause, or motivation, behind it. Often these motivations can be traced back many years, even to childhood. This is especially true with behavioral patterns and habits that are dysfunctional. Whatever they may be, it is time you find them and fix them before they completely ruin your relationship for good. This may require the help of a counselor or relationship counseling program to enable true and lasting success. There are some excellent on-line marriage, and relationship, courses that provide top-notch quality and advice. Fresh insight and new information will provide you with new ways of thinking. Don't shy away from getting outside help - saving your relationship may depend upon it.

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Check Your Attitude. Have you fallen into a habit of negativity? There is nothing that will drag a relationship down harder and faster than a negative attitude. Negativity, if not countered, has the ability to suck the life out of your relationship. Are you plagued by the "cup half empty" syndrome? Do you have a habit of complaining and grumbling all the time? Is everyone and everything just not good enough for you? Are the words you speak discouraging and defeating to your partner? If you do not keep a daily check on your attitudes, you can quickly develop hurtful and destructive tendencies that will ultimately ruin your relationship. Pondering what to do when your relationship is falling apart must include a comprehensive attitude check.

Improve Communication By:

- Objective Listening. Don't presume you know what your partner is trying to say or how they feel. Let them voice it and explain it. Many time we listen for only what we want to hear or for what will be beneficial for us to hear - this is subjective listening and if not corrected will aid in the demise of your relationship. You must learn to listen objectively or critically - if you don't you will likely miss the point your partner is making and communication will begin to break down.

- Staying Away From Accusations. Considering what to do when your relationship is falling apart also necessitates what not to do. And accusing or blaming is definitely something you must not do if your are interested in saving your relationship. Even if it may be warranted, accusing your partner of being the cause of all the problems will only add more fuel to the fire that is already devouring your relationship. Besides, it takes two to tango! You must take responsibility for your actions, or inactions, and stay away from pointing the finger.

- Giving Compliments and Speaking Positive Affirmations. If you are questioning what to do when your relationship is falling apart, I can almost guarantee that you are not speaking near enough words of affection, support and encouragement into your partners life. We are inundated daily with negativity and discouragement - in the news, at work, and far too often at home, with our partner. But this cycle can be broken, and must be broken, if you are to salvage your relationship. You must make the effort to ensure that you speak words that will build your partner up and encourage her/him. Refrain form letting any negativity escape your lips. If you don't have anything good or positive to say, then don't say anything at all!

As you continue to develop your strategy for what to do when your relationship is falling apart, meditate on this thought from Albert Einstein: "We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them."

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Let's face it, learning how to seduce your husband seems to be a strange thing to do right? Well not really. The problem is that unless you stand there completely naked shouting "take me to bed you big stud" he simply won't get the message. This isn't necessarily the guy's fault some of them have an emotional block which doesn't allow the gentler side of romance in. It's a bit like chopping your finger off while the Super Bowl is on, he just won't notice.

Here are some tips on how to seduce your husband which will work on the most unromantic ones out there.

1. Champagne under the stars, this is a great one to start with. Once you've had dinner just slip outside and put a couple of glasses on a rug in the garden, invite him outside and just watch his face. This one is best done in summer.

2. Make dinner together. Now all women know how sensual some food can be, especially if you are preparing it in a slow seductive manner. I tried this a couple of times and never even got to eat the meal so you may want to tone this one down.

3. Book a hotel room for the weekend. When he gets home on a Friday night make sure that there is nothing which needs doing over the weekend and get in the car and go to the hotel. Have yourself a nice quiet meal and make sure that room service has a nice bottle of something on ice for when you get back. Make sure that you order strawberries, and for a change, you feed them to him nice and slow.

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4. Go to the movies. Now I'm not saying that you should get down and dirty at the multiplex but what I am saying is that you can still stroke his hands and thighs in the darkness. Every now and again just lean over and whisper something sexy in his ear. The trick to this is to make sure that you stay for the whole movie.

5. Play some music softly. Now we all know that men love music, so put on a bit of a show for him. You can quite easily seduce your man with a little dance to some soft music. The reason you have the music on low is because he will sit quietly so that he can hear it whilst he's watching you, this doesn't have to be a striptease you could do this while you are ironing a shirt, reading a newspaper, this will cause high visual stimulation.

6. Send him sexy texts. This is a great one, I've actually had a lot of fun with this one while I was learning how to seduce my husband, he even drove home on lunch breaks because of some of the comments I sent him.

7. Biting. Now this one may seem a little OTT but playful biting can be an enormous turn on for him, just wait until he's got out of the shower or having a shave, walk up and put your arms around him from behind and give him a little bite on the top of his back. Just remember with this one, not too hard.

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8. Clothes. Get a skirt which is shorter than your usual ones and wear a g-string, sit opposite him while he is watching TV and slowly open and close your legs. Enough said about this one.

9. Send a photo. If you're the brave type you could always send him a naked picture of you to his mobile phone with a caption which says something like "I love you this much". Two points with this one - make sure you put his name in the message (in case he thinks you're having an affair) and always make sure you send it to the right number.

10. Give him a massage. There is nothing a guy likes more than a massage, but make sure that you are in complete control. Don't let him touch you until you've finished what you're doing, by which time his blood will be pumping so hard that you will feel it through every part of his body.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying... Visit Save The Marriage to find out more.

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