How To Save Your Marriage Without Saying A Word: How To Have A Successful Marriage

Marriage is somewhat like a pot of milk permanently on the boil. Any minute it can spill if you do not keep a watch. Therefore to save your marriage, never allow the milk pot to overflow. In other words, remain alert all the time to catch the early signs of decay. Or else, it might go bad beyond repair.

Neglect shows up sooner or later and marriage is no exception. But if you remain alert and sensitive of what is happening around you, the usual boredom and decay that sets in can be prevented.

The first sign of decay in a marriage is stoppage of meaningful communication. Neither of you have anything more to say to each other except exchange pleasantries and inconsequential details about life and events.

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The second sure sign of a rotting marriage is when you no longer live as friends but more as two paying guests sharing the same apartment for the sake of convenience. At times, both of you fight only to prove a point or prove intellectual superiority. If you take a closer look at the way things are going, such fallacies would become more obvious and noticeable.

However, if you both genuinely love and respect each other and want to sincerely make the marriage work, there are several proactive actions you can take.

Begin by frankly confessing about your inadequacies and apologize for any hurtful actions of the past. Secondly, open up the clogged channels of communication once again without ridiculing or poking fun at each other. Respect the decisions taken by your spouse and value his or her time and preoccupations.

Earlier you catch the signs of decay in a marriage - higher are your chances to prevent it from going downhill anymore. However, whatever you do, never compromise on your sense of self-esteem and self-respect. Or else, you might be able to save your marriage, but at the end of the day, both of you would be very famished and depleted human beings.

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What's the best way to save a marriage? You're wondering because you've come to the bitter realization that unless you act quickly, your marriage is heading directly towards divorce. Most of us go into our marriages oblivious to the amount of effort and constant nurturing that is involved. It's so easy to allow your spouse's needs to fall by the wayside as you tend to all the pressures that life presents you. Suddenly you wake up one day facing separation.

Many people will tell you that the best way to save a marriage is to seek out professional counseling. Granted that works for many couples but it certainly isn't the answer for everyone. If you and your spouse still are deeply fond of one another and the bond is still there, you can rebuild on your own.

You need to address what you believe the underlying problem is in the relationship. It's important for you and your spouse to be honest about what you think is causing the emotional distance within the marriage. It can be very hard to present your partner with a list of everything you are feeling and why you believe they are contributing to the problems, but it's necessary. You both have to be on the same page with this. That means ready, willing and able to learn and absorb.

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Talking about your problems has to be done in a very specific way so that each and every word is heard and understood. As human beings we tend to want to jump to our own defense the moment we are being attacked. That's why couples sometimes launch into an argument straightaway. You can't do this. Bypassing calm and reasonable discussion will only result in more hurt feelings and disappointment.

Arrange a time when you two can calmly have a discussion. It's vitally important that you strive to do this at a time when things within the home are serene. It's best to arrange outside child care if you have small children as they tend to need things that will take your focus away from your spouse. Then make a promise to one another that you will try your level best to not cut in when the other is talking. Each of you absolutely must have an opportunity to speak your mind if you hope to move past the conflicts. If you can do this for each other, you've taken the most important step towards saving your relationship.

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When people get married, they genuinely make vows to stay together for the rest of their lives. They make promises to each other that they intend to keep, but throughout the years, those promises begin to get lost through a process of arguments and disillusionment. The reasons why the subject of divorce will come up in a marriage, is when the arguments are on a continuous basis. Every couple argues, but when the arguing becomes the only source of communication for a couple, this is when the subject of divorce will come up.

After many attempts to save your marriage end up failing, you may believe that divorce is the next natural step, but saving a marriage takes more than just a few attempts. If all of your attempts up to this point have failed, it is because you haven't found the right solutions. When it comes to saving a marriage, no stone should be unturned. If a couple really wants to work at saving their marriage, it has to come from both of them, and not just one of them. Just as you were both present during their marriage, you need to both be present to save the marriage.

There are many solutions to stop a divorce. Regardless if you and your spouse are just discussing the possibility of a divorce, or you've already separated, and are living apart, there are soluitions that can save your marriage from the brink of disaster.

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Seeking the help of a marriage counselor is one solution, but most people feel that their problems have gone beyond the help of a therapist, and the only thing that a therapist can do for them at that point, is to help point out the reasons for the divorce in the first place. If a couple can find those reasons on their own, they can save their own marriages without the help of an outside intermediary.

That's why you and your partner need to sit down and iron out a communication plan today. Unless you start talking about the problems that are plaguing your marriage, you'll never find any workable solutions. It's important to establish ground rules for communication. This may seem a bit over the top but it's actually very productive. Agree to talk at a time when neither of you will be easily distracted. Turn off your cell phones and focus solely on one another. Give each other a chance to speak without interruption. This one is tough but if you are conscious of not talking when your spouse is, it's definitely doable.

Finally, learn from what your partner shares. Obviously there are going to be bruised egos and hurt feelings but your marriage is at stake. Unless the two of you get down to the nitty gritty, your relationship will have no chance of making it.

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Saving a marriage takes the involvement of two people who are at a crossroads with nowhere left to turn. They feel helpless, confused, and lost. No matter what they do, they cannot seem to find the right key to unlock the door to a happier marriage. A marriage that is on the brink of divorce creates an open opportunity to bring the marriage back from the edge.

Most couples don't want a divorce in the beginning. What they are looking for is a way out of a situation that is not working. If a married couple had a key to open a locked door, they would use it. The key to any locked door of a marriage is communication.

Most couples have forgotten how to communicate with each other. The only things they have learned lately, is how to hurt each other. Most people know that words can be hurtful weapons, yet they continue to say hurtful things. There are many people who are saying the words, "help me save my marriage," but during the next argument with their partner, they will continue down their same path of negativity, causing pain as they go.

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People who are having problems in their marriage may feel like the answer to their ongoing conflicts are elusive. The main problem is that most people are too close to their situation. They need a chance to stand back and look at their marriage in a more objective way. They need to use words like, "I was hurt when you said this to me," instead of using words, such as "you hurt me when you said that." When a person uses the word 'you," in an argument, they are instantly putting the other person on the defense. They feel as if they are being accused, judged, and attacked.

Learning to communicate in a marriage is crucial. Learning how to talk to each other without turning the discussion into an argument is also important. Both parties need to constantly check themselves as they are talking to their significant other. Staying alert through a discussion, and watching how their partner reacts to certain things that they say, will help them to know when that part of a discussion is going to get them nowhere. Finding what works, is the key. Getting rid of what does not work will open the door ever so slightly. Keeping their expectations to a minimum will open the door the rest of the way.

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"I need help fixing my marriage." That's a statement that you hear yourself making even though you can't believe it. You had such high hopes when the marriage began, didn't you? You thought that you and your spouse would grow old together, raising your family. Little did you know, back then, that the seas would become so rough and you'd be at the point where you started to entertain the thought of divorce. It happens and what you do in response dictates whether or not your marriage can survive.

If you need help fixing your marriage you have to consider where the trouble is coming from. Identifying the major conflicts in your relationship is a good first step towards addressing them. You have to be honest with this step and ideally you'll have the cooperation of your partner so you two can work together on rebuilding the relationship. If that's not the case, you need to go at it alone. Think about what you two seem to argue about the most and then consider whether that's the actual problem or the byproduct of some other issue. Once you've got to the heart of the matter, you need to find a way to resolve it.

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One of the reasons why couples drift apart is they stop communicating with each other. They obviously have to talk each day about mundane issues like who will drive the children to school or who will stop to get some milk on the way home from work. On the surface it appears as though they communicate just fine, but they don't. Unless you and your spouse are openly and honestly talking with one another about your marriage and its problems, you're doing your relationship and family a disservice. Set some time aside that is uninterrupted for you two to just talk about things. These discussions may be difficult emotionally but they're crucial to the well being of your relationship. Do this weekly or daily if you have to until you both feel as though the other fully understands what is needed from the relationship.

It's very likely that you see each other more as co-parents than life partners if you have kids. This is very common for couples who are raising small children. Their romantic relationship takes a backseat to their parenting duties and they end up living more like platonic partners than lovers. You have to give your romantic relationship the attention it deserves. Respect it and nurture it. Make time to spend alone with each other and cherish each of those moments. If you can stay close in every way possible, your marriage will not only survive, it will thrive.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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