How To Talk To Your Husband About Being Unhappy: How To Communicate With Husband Effectively

If you can't communicate with your partner on topics like sex, money, kids, work, household chores or any every day matter then you will never feel like you have a partnership. I have seen so many marriages or relationships end over issues that can be easily fixed. They end only because one partner or both can't fully explain their own feelings well enough. They end up pointing fingers at each other instead of the issue at hand. Who was at fault? They play the blame game.

In order to communicate with the opposite sex you have to understand how they think. Men in general are simple. Almost like a grown up child. Men need space and time to think. They keep there emotions to themselves. They want to fix things and feel needed. (My husband agrees) Women are complex. We over-think. We tend to make a mountain out of a mole hill. Women like to express our feelings. We talk issues out. We need nurturing and want to feel loved. In general we are total opposites but with similar emotional qualities. We just express them differently.

When you have an argument, listening to what your partner says while keeping an open mind. Don't jump to conclusions. Wait a minute and think about what they are saying. If you don't understand, ask again. Don't get angry. Stay calm and listen to what they have to say. Yelling at each other never solves anything and makes the matter worse. You can never solve an argument by yelling. This only shuts your partner down. Learning how to control your emotions helps keep the conversation going and helps solve the issue at hand. If your partner walks away don't go after them. Leave them alone and let them cool down. They will come back.

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Once you have controlled your emotions, learning how to talk to your partner is important. One rule is to never point blame. Never talk negative to each other. You may not even realize you are doing it. I have a current marriage relationship I'm helping where the wife doesn't even realize all the negative things she says to her husband. She can't understand why he gets so upset with her. She wrote a letter to him explaining her feelings, wants and needs. In the paragraph I had pointed out at least two negative comments. She was astounded at how she didn't even know it was negative. I explained to her how he would see them as negative.

How do you know you are expressing negative comments to your spouse? One way to know is using the word "You". You points towards the direction of blame. One other word commonly used is the word "Never". Never is used a lot by women trying to express to their spouse on what they are not doing. "Could" is also a negative word. Replace the word "could" with "would".

If you want your spouse to listen to you try to be aware of what you are saying. For example: "You never help me around the house"

Unless your spouse is completely lazy and has never helped you in anyway, this is a very negative comment.

Instead ask: "I need help. Would you be able to start a load of laundry for me?"

This is a much better way to ask for help. It expresses your sense of need and you are asking your spouse directly what you want done. No guessing games.

Negative: "Could you take the garbage out? I'm too tired and you are just watching TV"

Positive: "Would you take the garbage out for me? I'm too tired and it would be a really big help to me"

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Then once the task is being done, don't criticize in how he or she does the chore. They are doing this chore for you, be happy they are helping. If you want things done a certain way then you need to do them yourself.

In relationships many couples play the point game. They assign how many times (points) they have done a favor for the other and expect them to do the same. This will never work out and just makes you an unhappy person. There will always be one spouse that may do more then the other. If you feel you are doing way too much and your spouse is not, either cut back on your chores or ask nicely for help. Don't wait till it's too late and explode on them. They don't know what you are thinking or feeling unless you tell them.

I have a wonderful marriage with my husband. I make sure to use the advice I have given above in my own marriage. It works and we are both much happier. He does the same. We have never argued or yelled at each other. Our disagreements end in 10 minutes or less. We help each other around the house and take turns with the baby. We give each other our space and make sure we get "me" time along with "date nights". We don't forget about each other and focus on us and our family. We make sure to give each other hugs every day and kisses before bed. Marriage can be hard work, but very rewarding!!

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1. Romance

Get back into the habit of dating your spouse! If romance is lacking in your relationship, don't hesitate to lay it on and bring out your flirtatious side. When you begin taking care of yourself, your partner will notice and become interested in the reason why you're so keen on being so pretty or handsome. Once they realize it's for them, they should instantly perk up! Also, know that people do change. Constantly refer to your spouse and speak with them to learn what they would like to do, their hopes and dreams for the future and their desires for intimacy. Communication can be key, so speak up.

2. Friendship

Before you were married, you were friends! Get that friendship relationship back within your marriage. It's nothing you don't already do, just do it with your spouse instead! Share a juicy bit you read online or sit down for an afternoon of board games and refreshments. Whatever you choose to do, make sure that the atmosphere remains fun, relaxed and provides a sense of no expectations, letting the happiness and good feelings come as they will.

3. Talking

Don't neglect your spouse! Even if the things they say may seem like they're mundane or even downright silly, talking to your spouse is a great way to let them know what you want, how you feel, what you need and any expectations or disappointments you're experiencing. Without talking, you would just be two roommates living together. Don't let your spouse linger in silence, strike up a conversation about their favorite topic, or even a new one and see where the conversation leads you.

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4. Listening

Just as important as talking, listening plays a vital role in relationship communication. In order to fully understand the context and situation your spouse is in, ask them about their day, and then listen to the reply. Was there any stress? Anger? Sadness? Excitement? Once a day, ask your partner what the highlight of the day was. This promotes feelings of happiness within the relationship, because no matter what, there is always one thing you can find to celebrate about your day together (or even apart, which is okay, as long as you're sharing!) Listen to your partners highlight, ask questions about the event and try to glean the emotions tied to your partner's well-being. If you show that you care, your spouse will too. Listening is a great skill to continuously improve!

5. Little Things

Never stop doing little things. Many couples make the mistake of becoming too comfortable and falling into the bad habit of neglecting the attention their partner craves. In order to continue to make a connection that will last a lifetime, be sure to think of new and creative ways to impress, surprise and cherish your partner. Make other days besides holidays, special, and let them know that you are ready to be there for them and motivate them at all times. Providing support, encouragement and hope to your partner, is a great way to keep them actively engaged in the marriage.

Staying married nowadays takes a lot of time and work. Relationships rarely run on cruise control, and usually require constant attention so they don't begin to fall apart. Is your marriage struggling? We offer a safe and confidential atmosphere in which couples are free to express their feelings.

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It saddens me to hear about many failed marriages. People try to find similar characteristics of those individuals in their spouses, they are comfortable with. They compare their spouses with their family members and friends and thereby kill the uniqueness of their relation. Here are few suggestions to fuel happiness in your married life till eternity.

1. Uniqueness - As a couple, apprehend that you are special and unique. Your story is unique. Your circumstances and experiences are unique. Opportunities and threats in your relation will be unique too. Your relation is a journey. Live through every moment. Don't try to emulate experiences of your siblings, parents and friends. They have their own journey, which is different from yours.

2. Time - No matter how busy you are, take some time out for each other. Quality time, no matter how long or short span, spent together rejuvenates the relationship.

3. Individuality - As a couple, you will often be considered as a single unit. However, remember that you two are different individuals and have different identities. There can be disagreement. There can be a difference of opinion. Embrace these differences for they are reasons for your exciting life, saves you from monotony. You didn't marry your clone, so you are bound to experience variations. Accept each other's individuality.

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4. Communication - Doesn't matter what medium you choose but communicate as often as possible. Silence is golden but the silence of couples is not gold but the silence that kills relationships. Communicate to destroy gossips. If you will not communicate, others will, not for you but about you. Your spouse must be kept aware of everything about you that might affect the course of your relation.

5. Love & Respect - Love is the strength of your relation. Love each other without reason. Don't look for occasions to express your love. Express it in your small ways, all the time. Your love is a reason for your family (next generation); your family is not a reason for your love. It is sad to hear people saying that they are living together for the sake of future of their kids and not because they are in love with each other.

6. Trust - Trust each other and stay loyal. Trust and loyalty are glues that keep the relation together. If you cannot trust one another your marriage will eventually dissolve, doesn't matter how much you love each other. Love without trust is like music without rhythm.

Long and happy marriage is not a destination. It is work-in-progress. It requires sincere and honest effort from both the individuals involved in it. Living together should not be a social responsibility. It must not be out of fear of societal revolt. It must not be a compulsion or a duty. It must be passion. It must be fun and enjoyment. And more importantly, it must help you grow - together and individually.

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If you're interested in getting better at understanding men so that you can be a better wife or girlfriend for your man, then this article will be helpful. What I'm going to talk about in this article is the concept "jumping into your man's puddle". It does sound sort of strange; I first learned about it when I was reading a relationship help book called, "How To Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It". In essence, this is all about helping your man out when he needs you most. Let's look at how you can do this.

1. Jumping Into Your Man's Puddle

So let me first explain what this concept is all about. When you jump into a puddle, what happens? Water goes everywhere, right? Also, with some puddles, you never know how deep they go. They can be shallow, or you could fall straight in, especially with puddles in the countryside roads.

There is an element of risk involved. Either way around it, you're going to get messy. That's a lot like your man. Sometimes, he has issues that he doesn't want to talk about. This represents the puddle that he may want you to jump into to help him out with.

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2. To Jump Or Not To Jump

Some men are adamant that you don't help them out with their problems. Whatever is their issue stays with them. I'm kind of like that as well. I don't want my wife getting involved with my problems.

There is a line, though. There are some problems that involve both of us that require both of us be interact and to solve the problem. However, I can't ask her to "jump into the puddle", she has to jump into it on her own accord. How do you know what sort of problems these are?

3. Types of Puddles

A safe way to go is to jump into puddles that involve both you and your man as a couple. This obviously includes things to do with your relationship, but also some of the "red tape" things as well.

We're talking about paying off bills, sorting out home/car loans, etc. As you get more and more confident jumping into more of his puddles and helping him out, don't be surprised if he jumps into yours to help you out too. That shows that he respects your time and effort for helping him out.

If you want to get better at understanding men, understand that we're all about trying to figure out our own problems. There is a time and a place do it, but remember, you'll never know unless you try. Take the plunge!

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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