How To Talk Your Spouse Into Marriage Counseling: How To Suggest Marriage Counseling To Husband / Wife

Unfortunately, divorces are on the rise in many areas. The world has taken a toll on couples and many are not equipped to navigate the unsteady waters of rocky relationships. However, an innumerable number of couples divorce when a few visits to a marriage counsellor could have saved their relationships.

Far too many people find themselves in unsatisfying relationships with no means of resolution other than divorce. However, professional marriage therapists are trained to assist couples in conflict resolution and the proper way to communicate with their loved ones in order to prevent a divorce.

A significant number of people have a hard time communicating with their spouse, attacking issues head on, yet respectfully or ignoring issues until they become a festering wound that neither one in the couple can overcome.

Professional help works wonders for relationships because it helps guide couples through their relationship and teaches them how to appreciate each other as well as the proper way to confront issues and resolve them as adults.

The public would be shocked if they knew how many people chose to not engage their partners on an important issue until it is too late. They will let something that happened years ago, continue to appear and chip away at their relationships until it is too late.

Avoiding conflict is not a safe way to have a healthy marriage. The stress from ignoring the need for acknowledgement of a wrong (whether intentional or unintentional) can wreak havoc on a person's health, not to mention their emotional state.

However, relying on a marriage therapist to give someone the best tools for conflict resolution can breathe new life into the marriage. Many people just want to be heard within a relationship and have their fears and concerns given weight. When feelings are ignored or, even worse, told they are ridiculous, then the person's feelings are stifled.

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Emotional unavailability is one of the biggest complaints that marriage counsellors hear from their clients. Surprisingly, many people do not know they are emotionally unavailable until it is too late. Yet, many counsellors are trained to take couples through issues one by one and examine how they independently handled the situation.

When they learn of their reactions, only then are they able to highlight the response's suitability or unsuitability to the situation. This can be an eye-opening experience for many couples. Very few people aim to reduce their significant other's need for reassurance and validation.

Emotional unavailability for many people is a coping skill that they taught themselves to employ after experiencing a traumatic experience or a series of disappointments when they were younger. If the emotional traumas and the coping mechanisms are left unresolved, then they bring that into their adult life and relationships.

Couples should act quickly when they begin to suspect that they are stuck in a relationship rut. Studies have shown that couples tend to let the unhappiness last as long as six years before seeking professional help. However, many couple call time on the relationship in the seventh year.

This proves that couples wait too long to seek help and should go to the therapist the minute they discover that they are unable to resolve any issues on their own in the marriage. Allowing a situation to gnaw at a couple until neither one can take it anymore is what is destroying marriages.

Instead, couples that hire professional help to assist them in dealing with all issues and how to become better partners and effective communicators demonstrate longer and more satisfying marriages than those couples that wait until the last minute. Love, honesty and communication are the skills that therapists bestow upon their clients.

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Falling in love and getting married embarks on a journey which can turn sweet or sour depending on the way we drive through it. A successful marriage emerges from being the right mate, rather than finding one. It is a commitment of a lifetime, which is built over trust, love and respect.

Marriage entails being available to our partners, understanding them, sharing their grief and laughter, dreaming their dreams and supporting their goals. Let go of the ego and profess unconditional love that makes marriages more successful. Couples in troubled marriages need to have open and deep communication between them to share their issues and concerns. This fosters a deep understanding and care for each other. Do not be a stranger to your partner or you will end up living separate lives.

Success of a marriage will depend upon the emotional dependence of the partners, their trust on each other and the balance which they are able to keep between their ego and love. It all points to unconditional love for each other. These traits can only be nurtured by constant and conscious efforts from both partners. Such a marriage will withstand any stormy circumstances.

How to build a strong marriage?

Building strong marriage is a continuous process which evolves over time with the marriage itself. Couples need to show each other how much they are loved and valued. The lack of appreciation triggers a feeling of discontent and insecurity which leaves the door wide open for dissension to come in.

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Honesty is of utmost importance for building a strong marriage. When you speak truth, trust follows automatically. Relationships cannot be built on lies. Your partner must have believed in you to be able to share their feelings and intimacy. Many a times, marriage is also an association of two individuals with different needs and expectations.

You must show your partner that you can be relied upon in difficult times as mutual trust is the basis of a strong and successful marriage. Distrust and dishonesty are destroyers of marriage. Without honesty it is impossible to respect each other as well as resolve conflicts weakening the very roots of marriage. Respecting each other's space, mutual trust and open communication are few traits which need to be inculcated in a relationship as important as marriage.

Marriages can also be successful if the partners keep their ego within themselves, rather than throwing it at each other. Arguments should have its place in a successful married life as they make you realize the importance of love in relationships. Couples need to be emotionally positive and sensitive towards each other. Refrain from 'having the last word' attitude if your want to build a healthy and strong marriage.

Complacency is another reason which impacts married life negatively. With time our priorities in life changes, life becomes busier and we start taking the relationship for granted. In the process the partner even feels neglected. Couples need to avoid this complacency by maintaining the spontaneity and passion in their love. Surprise gifts and appreciations in public can help in building a happy and strong married life.

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If you really do want to save your marriage life, there are a few things that you must put them in the right place. Actually, when you are trying to solve your marriage problem, there are 3 things that you must believe. If you can't do as I'm about to tell you, then it will be difficult for you to achieve what you want.

1. In order to save your marriage, it is very important that you need to believe in the marriage. You must be sure that your marriage is worth to save. You must be sure that you still love to be with your spouse. If you can do as mentioned, then it will be easier for you to get what you want.

2. In order to save your marriage, it is also very important that you need to believe in yourself. You need to believe that you can do it. Yes, I'm talking about you. Not both of you. I'm not talking about your partner. I'm talking about you and it is you who needs to believe in your own abilities. If you are seriously trying to find a way to solve your marriage problem, then there is a possibility that you can get what you want. This thing just happens every day.

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If you can believe in yourself as mentioned, it is not recommended that you should try to do things in the dark, or try to fix the problem without knowing what you are doing. You should find yourself some good strategies that will teach you how to save your marriage in the right way.

3. Now, if you want to save your marriage, it is also important that you should try to believe in possibility. It is a fact that many marriages have ended because people feel like it is hopeless. Actually, there is no hopeless situation. Many couples are trying to save their marriages no matter how bad their situations are. They just don't give up and they finally solve their marriage problems just like they want.

So, if you have the right strategy, then it will be easier for you to find out the right way to save your marriage. Remember, many couples can get back together every day. They are not the expert or anything, but they just don't give up so easily. Besides, they all believe in these 3 things as mentioned above as well.

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When you feel the most dissatisfied with your mate or your marriage, accept that as an inevitable result of identifying the source of your happiness with a condition outside of yourself. Whatever your mate does, look at how you react to it. Make your reactions conscious, however unpleasant they may be. Instead of rejecting your unpleasant feelings and making those feelings "wrong", go through them consciously. Give up your resistance to your unpleasant feelings. Relate with those feelings as your doorway to the spiritual liberation that brought the two of you together.

"What if my mate really mistreats me or fails to fulfill his responsibility to the relationship? Must I accept this? Wouldn't this be abusive?"

The only way to make a wise decision is from a spiritually liberated perspective. You have achieved that perspective when you accept the present moment as your opportunity to liberate that potential. You see from that perspective that your mate does not mistreat you. You place yourself in every situation that you find yourself in. Sometimes you walk into a situation without a conscious intention. For instance, you may choose to go swimming without knowing that a rip tide current can sweep you out to sea. You would not have made that choice if you knew what was going to happen. But two facts remain indisputable:
1. You made the choice to go into the water
2. Your choice was based on your level of consciousness

The next time you go swimming, if you get a next time, you may be more careful about determining the conditions of the current before swimming out that far. This same principle applies to your marriage. However your mate behaves, you experience the brunt of it as a result of your choice to be in the vicinity.

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You can certainly use the power of your logical mind to cast blame on your mate, to bolster your belief in your mate's responsibility for his conduct. But that will not lead to your spiritual liberation, because you will not be learning about yourself. You will not feel the urge to raise your level of consciousness so that you make better choices.

Your solution, then, is to accept what is going on, not to settle for it, but to accept it. There is an important difference between settling for something and accepting it. When you settle for something, you have in your mind a concept of this being an inferior situation that you resign yourself to. Acceptance means that you are willing to go through what is happening consciously until you see what is really going on here. When you accept your experience, you discover your doorway to liberation. Acceptance of experience makes all experiences equal. However your mate behaves, he cannot take away from you your opportunity to raise your level of consciousness, enabling you to make better and better choices for yourself.

You raise your level of consciousness by examining your experience. This means directing your attention into your present moment experience, into your experience of the now. Directing your consciousness into the now does not mean thinking about or analyzing. It means observing without thought or analysis, just direct conscious awareness of the present moment experience. If you begin thinking, just notice that you are thinking. You will soon see that you cannot enter the present through thought. When you think you are living in your mind's version of the past or the future. You are living in an illusion, an imaginary representation.

Entering the present moment with your conscious reveals, for instance, that you feel tense right now. Your thoughts can blame your mate for the tension that you feel. But your awareness reveals that tension is something you are doing to yourself in the present moment. You hold onto your tension until you let it go. When you pay attention to your feelings long enough, you find that you can let your tension go and allow your body to relax.

So it is not your mate that makes you tense, but your habitual, unconscious mode of tensing up. Your mate has behaved in a way that actually helped you to become aware of this previously unconscious pattern. As you let go of your tension, you might thank your mate.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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