My Husband Cheated On Me But I Still Love Him: Why Do I Still Love Him After He Cheated

Your husband cheated on you. And it was horrible, and one of the worst days of your life when you found out. But when you lie awake at night, you are faced with nagging thoughts. Thoughts like: "My husband cheated on me but I still love him." or "I don't want my marriage to be over. I want my husband back!"

It's not like you can just end your marriage and your feelings for your husband over night. Even if he did cheat on you, you wouldn't have promised to build a life together if you didn't love him. Plus marriages survive affairs all of the time. There is no reason to believe that yours can't survive as well.

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Here are two questions you need to ask yourself if you're faced with the situation of "My husband cheated on me but I still love him."

1. Can you get over the affair? If you want your marriage to survive the affair, then you have to answer this question truthfully. In order for your marriage to work you will have to be able to get over the affair and learn to rebuild trust in your relationship. That doesn't mean you need to trust him overnight, but you can't throw the affair in his face every time the two of you have a fight. And you also can't know where he is every second of every day. If you know yourself and know that it will eat you up inside not being able to trust your husband, then it might be better to have a clean break and move on.

2. Is your husband truly sorry? If your husband feels remorse over the affair, your marriage will have a better chance at surviving the affair. If your husband left you for the other woman, however, it will be much harder to get him back. You both need to be on the same page in order to save your marriage. Out of respect for you and your family, both you and your husband will need to make changes in order to work through this. If he can't, or won't, then you need to decide if your relationship with him is healthy enough to continue.

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Now don't get your pants twisted up and end up mad as a goat at what is presented here at first glance. If you read for content and listen for effective instruction, you may then give it merit.

It's when couples try to navigate the mysterious waters of marriage with their own conflicting ideas and/or confusing ramblings of some counselors, instead of with a reliable compass that the waters of marriage become muddy leading to the deep sea of divorce.

Following, then, is the fundamental structure of how marriage works best. For couples struggling in marital strife, it's the best way to save your marriage and stop divorce: First, marriage is bringing a man and a woman together in matrimony to become unified as One flesh, with One common purpose--to establish a cohesive, happy family unit.

There is order in the marriage structure; much like there is order in any company or business arrangement. There is the CEO, and the support staff. In marriage, the husband assumes leadership role; his wife and children are his support. When the wife shows RESPECT for her husband and works within this arrangement, the marriage flourishes.

This unity is achieved through fulfillment of 'complementary roles' designated to husband and wife--complementary roles that are based on unselfish principled love that never fails.

In carrying out the leadership responsibility of his home, the husband tries to create a thriving environment where all in the family feel secure, loved and honored. It's an environment where there is direction and purpose, and where family members can grow and excel both mentally and emotionally.

It's a place where work and play go hand in hand and where training and discipline are lovingly administered. Finally, it's an atmosphere where family members are best friends.

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

Many dispute the leadership role of the husband. In fact, the majority. They shout that men and women are equal... And that's right men and women are equal. Equal but different. The fact is numerous studies show that male and females are born with a different set of 'instructions' built into their genetic code. That's fact.

Men and women are different. But, saying different, doesn't mean inferior. One role is not better than the other--simply different. Each role is designed to complement the other. Two working together harmoniously as one.

The wife's role, then, is to act as a complement to her husband, assisting him in carrying out his responsibilities toward the family. She would work in harmony with him, respecting the decisions he makes.

She wouldn't work at cross-purposes with him, demanding her way, withholding sexual favors until she got her own way. Or, trying to usurp his role. If she does, he won't be happy. She won't be happy.

Respecting her husband's decisions is especially critical when major differences of opinion arise.

At such times, the husband would lovingly take his wife's viewpoint into consideration. Together they would assess the pros and cons. As a result, often the husband would respond in his wife's favor. And rightly so.

However, and this is key, when it comes down to an instance where there is a deadlock, the husband makes the final decision--with his wife's support. This support empowers the harmony of the marriage. Through her support in honoring her husband's leadership role, the wife demonstrates love and respect for her husband.

The husband appreciating this respect loves and cherishes his wife. Showing such respect is how to make your husband love you more. It's a win-win situation.

Of course there are many other aspects to consider in keeping marriage viable and alive. Outlined here is just the foundation upon which to build. Understanding this structure and working within these parameters is the first step in establishing a marriage that will last.

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"I no longer love my husband but I want to save my marriage." That's a sad statement that many women find themselves silently thinking after a few years of married life. Sometimes feelings change and even though you may have once been madly in love with your husband, you may now have lost that spark. If you're not prepared to completely change your entire life and file for divorce, you need to take steps to improve the relationship. You can actually fall back in love with the man you married and have a deeper, more meaningful and fulfilling connection with him.

If you feel that you're no longer in love with your husband but you still love him, you have a solid foundation to work from. There are obviously qualities that your husband possesses that you adore. Focus more on those now and try and find something new about him to love each day. It's easy to feel that you've lost the adoration for the man you married if you are always thinking about the things about him you find unappealing. Push those thoughts aside in favor of looking at the things about him that you admire and adore. If you make a habit of doing this, a more positive thought process will take over. This will help rebuild the bond between the two of you.

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You should also adopt this new attitude whenever you are speaking to others about your spouse. It's very easy to fall into the trap of using others as a sounding board. Sharing everything that is going wrong in your marriage is easy but it won't help you to repair the problems. A great way to change how you personally view your husband is to only share positive things about him with others. If you do this repeatedly you'll start to look at him in a new light.

Make time each time to spend just with your spouse. Talk with him about his day and share what's going on in your own life. Find some common interests you two share and expand on those. If you can start to develop a closer friendship with your husband you can use that as a springboard to a more loving and connected marriage. If you try and remember why you loved spending time with him early in your relationship you'll feel more inclined to want to spend more and more time with him now.

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I do get a lot of correspondence from people who are either just beginning a marital separation or those who are going through one but who feel like things just aren't going right. People often think that they are doing things all wrong. While so much that happens during a separation is unplanned and include reactions to things that your spouse says and does, I believe that there is definitely a way to approach the separation (and a way to act during it) that gives you the greatest chance of success. Every marriage and separation is different, of course. And this is only my opinion, but I believe the suggestions below are sound and likely to help in many cases.

Communication Is Vital But Don't Overdo It: One of the biggest mistakes that I see is people waiting for the other person to be the one to call, reach out, or check in. Admittedly, sometimes the whole purpose of the separation is to get some space and distance. But that doesn't mean that it's a good idea to go weeks or longer without any communication whatsoever with your spouse. Even if you are trying to give one another space, you probably still want to at least check in regularly. And the reason for this is that it doesn't take long with no communication at all to just assume your spouse doesn't care. It's very common to feel isolated and to get into the habit of being on your own. Once this happens, many people assume that there is no healing their marriage when that might not be the case at all.

Now I admit that I often encourage people to back away when the communication is going so poorly that it is doing more harm than good. I still stand behind this. If every time you and your spouse try to communicate you say nasty things to one another, then, it makes sense to not continue on in the same way to make things worse. But you don't want to take this too far and completely go silent on your spouse for the long term.

In short, you will have to constantly evaluate. If things are going well, you can keep the same communication schedule or increase it a little. If things are not going well, sometimes it makes sense to give a little more space. But you never want to completely cut off all communication on a long term basis.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

Actively Try To Improve Your Relationship As Your Marriage Can Withstand It. Don't Just Idly Hope For The Best: Counseling can be a wonderful way to ensure that you are trying to strengthen your relationship during the separation. But, this doesn't always happen because sometimes, one or both people or opposed or resistant to it. And sometimes, things are so volatile that it's just not feasible.

However, even if you are not doing counseling, you can still make sure that you are actively trying to improve the relationship between you. This might mean that you find and pursue your own marital self help. It might mean that you just accept that right now, baby steps are appropriate and you just try to improve the way that you communicate and relate to one another. It might mean that you compromise more and criticize less.

However you do it though, the goal is to improve things between you. Now, I know that sometimes your spouse may be resistant to this. But you don't have to come out and announce it. You can simply make it clear that although you don't know what tomorrow is going to bring in terms of your marriage, you value your relationship and your spouse enough that you want to be on better terms with them no matter what the future holds.

Don't Allow The Strain And Stress Of The Unknown To Erode Your Relationship: It's very common for people to panic and get stressed out during their separation. After all, you no longer know what your spouse is doing. And you can only guess as to what they are feeling and what they really want. These unknowns can sometimes contribute to people assuming the worst. And when that happens, then bad behavior usually follows. This cycle can erode your marriage and decrease your chances for a reconciliation before you know it. I believe that it's incredibly important to stay positive and upbeat during this time. Not only does it make this process easier, but it is just human nature to want to be around and receptive to people who are positive rather than negative.

As You Are Able Try To Approach This As An Opportunity: Many people assume that a separation is going to be the worst period of time their marriage has ever seen. Honestly, this isn't a given. Many couples rediscover each other during this time. Because they miss one another, they are determined not to take one another for granted. They suddenly see their spouse more clearly and in a more positive light. They begin to date again and laugh more.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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