Choosing to pursue a healthy marriage – in the midst of everyone around you saying you should divorce – takes not only courage, but hope in the almost impossible. Sometimes being in a relationship feels like you’ve hit a brick wall going 100 miles per hour.

If that sounds like your marriage, you’re not alone. Many couples struggle in their relationship with their spouses. This article will address why you should never give up on your marriage (unless it’s a physically abusive one), and why it’s best to stay when it’s so much easier to move on.

I’ll be honest: the odds are stacked against you, statistically speaking, if you’re determined to end it. Numbers tell us that your best chance for happiness lies in your current relationship, your first marriage. Though the divorce rate in the United States is horribly high at 50% or more for “first timers,” those who try to find that elusive happiness in marriage number two or three are even worse off, having far less chance of success. Of those who get married a second time, almost 70% end in divorce, while third marriages fare even worse, with a staggering divorce rate at almost 75%.

The grass is actually NOT greener, just on the other side of the hill, despite what Hollywood would have us believe. But, why bother with your current relationship since you’re so unhappy? There are plenty of fish in the sea, so why not go fishing and find a better catch? The answer to that age-old question is that it’s a mirage; it’s not real.

What may look better or be more appealing – you’ll be leaving your current problems, trials and troubles behind you – will result in taking on a whole other set of challenges in your new relationship. Think of the common denominator. You. Many couples that call it quits only to enter into another marriage soon see the same or similar issues develop as a result.

My encouragement to you: stay put and get to work. Though not always true, if you put in the time, you’ll see the results, when it comes to improving your marriage. Focus on what changes you, personally, can make to yourself so that you grow as a person. Stop blaming and trying to get your spouse to change into the person you want him or her to be.

When you focus on the things you can control (or change) in your marriage, you’ll stop being critical of complaining about those things that your spouse has got to change. While there are no guarantees in life, taking this approach can do wonders in healing your marriage and getting back together. Put in a little effort, resolve to disappear despite your emotions or circumstances, and it will be worth it. Quicker than you thought possible, you may begin to see the fruit of your efforts reflected in the improved quality of your marriage.

Your marriage, believe it or not, has a much better chance -- for happiness, seeing the fruit of your efforts improve your marriage, and realizing that the grass is actually greenest – right where you’re at. Regardless of all the naysayers around you or how unlikely it may seem that you marriage has a snowball’s chance in Hades, there is hope.

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