In one of the Harry Potter books Harry comes face to face with a mirror in which he sees his parents staring back at him. He longs to stay with the mirror to continue to see his parents and Professor Dumbledore tells him he must stop. This mirror shows exactly what the viewer wants to see instead of what is.

You view your life through such a mirror.

What you see and what you experience is really what you want or expect to see at your deepest core. What you see is not reality. It is merely an interpretation shaped by your belief system and internal thought patterns – too often created by your Inner Critic, the voice of self-doubt and fear that you hear chatting endlessly in your mind.

Your husband doesn’t appreciate you, your boss is unrealistic in her expectations, the economy is holding you back, and the grass is most definitely greener in someone else’s yard. Bad things happen and you want to say that the people or circumstances around you are to blame for these things.

You can’t be, do or have what you want because of someone or something else – outside of you. You don't take responsibility for your life because you think that these other people and circumstances have power over you.

The challenge with this thinking is that it turns you into a victim. Some experiences are too painful to admit that you had a hand in it so you would rather look the other way and say it is someone else's fault. Well, it is someone else’s fault in a way – it is the fault of your Inner Critic. Oh wait, your Inner Critic is your own creation – so it really is your fault.

Not really. While your experiences are your responsibility the word fault, shame, or blame has no place in you examination of the events of your life. You do not deliberately create bad experiences for yourself. You do not deliberately set yourself up as a victim of your life. Unfortunately where you struggle, you have unconsciously given your power over to your Inner Critic and you are now victim to its misguided opinions and demands.

When you are in this state know that it is your Inner Critic just trying to do his job of keeping you safe. He does this by holding you back. By Finding Excuses And Reasons he will not allow you to move forward out of your safe comfort zone where you will have newer unknown – therefore potentially scary - experiences. By the way - the words Finding Excuses And Reasons create the acronym FEAR .

Your Inner Critic is afraid of anything it does not already know. You may not like your current comfort zone but your Inner Critic knows it to be safe so you’ll stay right where you are, thank you very much!

To hold firmly to your personal power, to deliberately direct and govern your life experience you must reclaim the power you have given to your Inner Critic. Restore it to you’re the voice that comes from your heart, the place of your authenticity, intuition, passion and inspiration. Some people call this their Higher Self, Soul, or Inner Being. I playfully call it the Inner Wizard. Look within and ask from your heart what role you played in creating a specific experience.

Let go of any judgment when you ask this question. Just look for information. When you discover how YOU created the bad stuff you now have the knowledge to put in corrections to have a better experience the next time a similar situation is presented. Without such examination you will continue to repeat the same unwanted patterns of behavior that create the same bad experiences over and over again.

In your examination, you will realize what you can do to turn the situation around so you can have a good experience moving forward. Sometimes, just realizing that you have the power to create even the bad stuff brings relief and new awareness.

If you have the power to create the bad stuff you also have the power to create the good stuff. Examining good experiences will give you the recipe to create a similar good experience over and over again.

If things are not going well for you - stop. Take a breath and tap into your Inner Wizard. She will tell you where you went off track and give you guidance on how to get on the right road again. Ask for help in seeing a bigger picture. This new perspective can be as simple as understanding that you absolutely without question have the power to change your life. You are a victim to no one and no circumstance.

No one can take away your personal power but you can surely give it away. Take it back from wherever you’ve parted from it. Let your heart-centered Inner Wizard guide you to the places you left your personal power behind.

Own and face your responsibility in any situation. Learn the lesson and forgive yourself for the part you played if it is an unwanted experience, and let it go. Remember how you felt when you gave up your power and became a victim. Notice how you feel now that you have reclaimed your personal power and are creating the experiences you choose to have.

If you ever want to know whether you are operating from a Victim mentality just check to see how you feel. If you feel bad, you have allowed yourself to be a Victim of your Inner Critic. If you feel good, you are standing solidly in your personal power deliberately creating a life that makes your heart sing.

You and you alone are responsible for the quality of your life. You have the inner resources to be the deliberate creator of your life experience. By disarming your Inner Critic and empowering your Inner Wizard, you will transform your victim mentality to a powerful creator. You will then be empowered to succeed in the passionate and authentic pursuit of your deepest desires.

Author's Bio: 

Valery is a Mentor, Coach & Author who provides an all in one toolkit and training course that give you the necessary tools and information to get over the unique challenges that come from success, fame and fortune. Championing those who have or aspire fame and/or fortune to maximize their potential is her calling. She's fully prepared to engage clients with her experience, extensive training, certifications. For more information please visit