Husband and Wife Not Talking To Each Other: When Your Partner Refuses To Communicate

Even though you may love each other a lot, there will be times when you're not happy with each other.

Whether or not you can successfully manage marriage conflict resolution relies on how these differences are dealt with and resolved rationally without the need for personal attacks while doing so.

Reading on will provide you with some wonderful, safe, and effective marriage conflict resolution strategies.

Discuss conflicts instead of arguing over them. You'll find that there is a large divide between discussing and arguing, though both may be considered somewhat a like.

Arguments usually result in yelling at each other and throwing insults. On the other hand, when you discuss something you make your point while doing your best to listen and understand your partner's point and working to reach a compromise.

Try to focus on talking it out, and your relationship can become stronger as a result. Don't point the finger.

The fact is that being honest is a very integral aspect in how strong your marriage will be. Be bold enough to admit your mistake if you think you committed an error.

If you just start throwing insults at your partner, this will only serve to widen the gap between you both. Understand that you might require a bit of distance.

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It's better to take some time out from a discussion and bring the subject up again later if you think it is losing relevancy. If you don't do this, argue will grow from that first discussion.

It's likely that the choices you make may not be what you want when you return with passions calmer. Give yourself plenty of space to calmly weigh out your decisions.

End the Day Happily

Heading to bed upset and mad will only cause you to fixate on the situation all night long and therefore make it worse. This simply increases the tension and when the issue is brought up again, it will be a tougher struggle.

Go to a peaceful part in the conversation before you go to sleep, otherwise you won't truly have space from it.

Defense is the Worst Offense

When you get defensive, you stop listening to what your loved one is saying, and this can cause the discussion to quickly escalate into an argument. It's entirely acceptable for your significant other to have a differing opinion, and you should be willing to hear them out.

Don't ignore any potential issues you might have, as you must talk them out in order to put them at ease, but act like adults.

Successful couples learn and excel at marriage conflict resolution with time; this is not an overstatement. You can keep anger and resentment out of your relationship if you master proper conflict resolution skills.

Your spouse will feel understood and loved as well.

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As you probably already know, communication is a key factor in any marriage. You have to find a way to make time to talk to each other. Start small, like talking about how each other's day went. Then you can move on to talking about the problems you are having in your marriage, and what you can do to save it.

By openly communicating, the two of you will begin to build a strong bond. This is a bond that cannot be broken, even with extreme marital problems.

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When you were first married, there was a special passion between the two of you. Take steps to get that passion back. When a marriage is in trouble, one of the first things to leave it is passion. If this has happened to you, then you should try your best to get it back.

A quick touch as you pass each other in the hall, or a quick hug or kiss, for no special reason. These things are very important, because they bring spontaneity back, and the physical contact, although small right now, will start to become more frequent.

By starting with these small steps, you will see your marriage get better. They may be hard to do at first, because you're not used to doing them. But, as you do them more and more, they will become much easier. You marriage DOES deserve another chance!

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1) Let the purpose of your marriage be to help you remember who you truly are... to awaken you, not make you happy. You and your partner are NOT responsible for each others happiness. The minute you start to rely on them to make you happy, you have already put a wall between you. Let them off the hook and get to tending to your own happiness through awareness and taking personal responsibility. If just one of you does this, you will allow enough air to breathe and allow newness to continually regenerate you as you grow in compassion and empathy for yourself and others. Make a list of what your partner doesn't like about you and work on those things instead.

2) Keep your relationship and what happens inside of it private and sacred. Your spouse should have a very special place in your heart no one else can come close to. If you're trying to get something from someone else other than yourself or your spouse, stop and look inward for the answers, validation, soothing you need instead of going to anyone else. This means being appropriate with the opposite sex as well as keeping your problems to yourself. Others do not belong in your relationship mentally, physically, or emotionally. Learn the art of self-soothing... it's the biggest gift you can give yourself in any relationship.

3) The moment your partner seems upset with you, diffuse it with humor, an apology, or see it as temporary. Making fun of yourself and/or their mood can help. When you apologize, be short and sincere. Also, see it as temporary because, if we see this as a re-occurring, ongoing problem that will always be there, we tend to treat it with more disdain and negativity (and they will even feel helpless to always react that way 'cause they're pigeon-holed by you and they think that's all you'll ever see. It's frustrating!). If we see it as a temporary reaction ("Oh, it's his ADD" or "Oh, it's her hormones"), you can ride the waves better.

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4) Listen. Don't read into things. Ask questions to clarify. If your partner says he doesn't want to be bothered in the mornings, don't make up your own conclusions about what that means or why. Tell them you'd like more information and ask some questions. Is it about the time pressure? Is it just before work that you feel this way? What is it exactly that makes you uneasy or upset? Don't allow any room for misunderstandings to come between you and cause unnecessary self-inflicted pain.

5) Mind your own business. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt and assume they're always doing what you find acceptable or honorable. Don't let your mind wander into micromanaging your spouse's life. They have their own divine guidance and are growing in their own unique way to them that may or may not be in step with you. They may not be where you think they should be, but that's none of your business... it's our Creator's. And he really does know what he's doing so just learn to trust and give up the controls to him.

6) Approach as gently as possible. When you bring something up you'd like to talk about, bring it up at a time when you are standing or walking side by side. It's less intimidating. And start with expressing your gratitude. Make it as light as possible and be on the same team about it. What do you both want in the end? Come from that common ground.

7) Don't make them wrong. They are just different. I know it's easy to watch what they do and see their hypocrisy and want to point it out. Don't. Just be a living example of what you'd like them to be. Be gracious. Do your best to understand them and don't ask that they understand you. When you understand them, they will understand you in return, but that part is, again, none of your business... it's our Creator's.

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8) Pay attention. Bring awareness to everything you do together. If they are talking, you are listening. If you can't listen, tell them you'd love to listen to them, but are distracted so to please give you 5 minutes and you'll come to them with your undivided attention. Make eye contact. Give them your affection. Express gratitude. If they want sex, give it to them. Everything that gets adequate attention flourishes.

9) Don't take their ego personally. In ho'oponopono, they teach you that each person is carrying around subconscious programming they call "chaos" they have ZERO control over and aren't even conscious of. Your job is not to try to clean up their chaos. It's to eliminate your own and, in doing so, transform the two of you then beyond ultimately spreading out to the whole world!

10) Hold an intention for the marriage... a vision of what it could be. Use all 5 senses to imagine everything going just as you'd like it to be. This is the law of attraction. What you think about, you bring about. Stop complaining and get to imagining!

11) Count your blessings every night before bed. This will keep you in a good place, allow you a good night's rest in which to be your best for your spouse, will attract more good into your life and relationship, and will keep you aware of just how great you've got it. Gratitude is a very powerful thing.

12) Give them adequate space. If is seems like anything is wrong with them and they won't talk to you, just be available and do what you can to be their soft place to fall. Don't push, guilt, or taunt them for more information. Just ask if they're OK and accept the answer. Being grounded and clear yourself is the best way to ensure the best outcome.

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What men want is an expensive woman. Pretty ironic, considering a lot of guys complain about how expensive their girlfriend or wife is. The funny thing is, as much as guys complain about it, they keep doing it. Why? I'll explore the reasons to you if you keep on reading...

Have you ever gone to the effort of hand-picking someone a gift, only to have them turn it down? Turning down a gift is considered an insult just about everywhere around the world.

People give gifts because they place high value in the person who's receiving the gift. In essence, whatever gift they're giving has a value that is equal or more than the value that they see in that person. To turn a gift down means that you don't value what they're giving you the same as they are.

To accept a gift is to understand and accept someone placing a lot of value on you. A man who continually gives gifts to a woman values her a lot. If he keeps doing it he could either be:

1. whipped and be decreasing his own value by consistently giving her gifts, or

2. returning value that the female has given to him, in the form of gifts.

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It's exactly the same for women. There are women who do so much for their men but get little or no recognition in return. What do they do? They stay with their men, either bound by marriage or some other obligation. They don't realize that they are making the situation worse for themselves and that the man is probably interested in another woman already.

You have to be able to say no. That's first and foremost. That's where self-respect comes from. If you say "yes" and agree to everything, you're not doing yourself any favors, nor are you doing your relationship any favors. The best wives know that they are the leaders in the relationship. They control their men, because they have to. It usually doesn't work the other way around, since men are generally not as emotionally intelligent.

The gift of giving is worth a lot more than receiving gifts themselves. So, if you want the man in your life, do the following: say no to the little things, eg. going out a certain night, spending time at their place, etc. That will jack up your value in his eyes. When he gives gifts, take them. The gift is a symbol of the value that he sees in you.

Now Listen Carefully-

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Author's Bio: 

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Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage.

Do you have a unique situation? Discuss your marriage problems on our forum. We can help you find a great loving relationship! Go to: RelationshipTalkForum.com