Husband and Wife Relationship Problems: Dispute with Husband Wife Married Life

Husband and Wife Relationship Problems: Dispute with Husband Wife Married Life

If you are trying to work on your wife husband relationship you need to have a basic understanding of how a wife husband relationship actually works if you want the best chance of being in or creating a good marriage.

Now no one has to tell us that men and women are very different. We are different in physical appearance but also in how we respond emotionally and mentally as well.

For instance men and women approach problems differently. Women like to talk it out, discuss the issues with different people. In fact, women can sometimes talk something to death. It's how a woman gets it off her chest and if she talks about it enough she can come to some kind of understanding, or solution or just get so darn tired of talking about it that she never wants to discuss it again. Men have to let women talk it out. Many a problem can be solved just by letting the woman talk it through.

But, men are very different from women in this type of situation. Men don't like to talk about it. They like to think about it. Men will mull a situation over for some time and come to a solution without muttering a word. Women need to let men think about it!

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Now, when men and women are trying to understand the wife husband relationship they can create problems unnecessarily. For example the husband can get frustrated because his wife is talking endlessly about the problem. The wife in turn thinks the husband is ignoring her because he is not talking about the problem. But he isn't ignoring her - he is trying to solve the issue internally.

When a man decides to talk about something it is because he really truly wants an answer. On the other hand women sometimes just want to get something off their chests when they talk about something and may not really want an answer. That's why it's best to listen to a women, don't offer your solution, let her come to her own conclusion or let her drop the subject altogether. The husband should just give her a little empathy, by just listening and letting her know he is listening...but he should not give her the solution. And, the woman should let the man have his silent time to work things out on his own.

This little bit of understanding on how the wife husband relationship works will make a marriage go that much smoother.

These are typical patterns; it doesn't mean that some men won't talk out a problem and that some women won't be tight lipped about it. But for the most part this is how it works between the sexes.

And it can work quite well if only the sexes remember this is how they problem solve whenever a difficult situation crops up. A marriage will be stronger and happier if the wife and husband will only remember how the wife husband relationship works at the time of conflict.

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A friend's husband told her early in their relationship that there was no need to fight. He said, "Everyone tells you to learn to fight fair. But I say, we don't fight at all." Always a coward in the face of conflict, she thought that was great. And they don't fight, meaning they don't throw things, dredge up old hurts from the past, or raise their voices to ear-splitting decibels. But they do fight, meaning they disagree. It would be tough to exist as an individual entity without feeling differently from your spouse every once and awhile.

In fact, no fighting or disagreement at all might be a red flag for a relationship. Another friend's husband was controlling and had to get his own way about everything, down to where they went for dinner. Always. She found it futile to even try to go to a restaurant of her choice-or do anything else without him shouting her down until he got his way. Finally she learned to be silent and constantly compliant-never even a slight disagreement-right up to the moment she divorced him. Their children were in shock because they never saw their parents arguing.

It's a good idea to discuss things before they erupt into fights. What are the hot buttons that cause the most discord for most couples?

1) Money. There's always one partner who spends more than the other. Or there's always one partner who is more frugal than the other. It's hard to find a perfect match in a relationship, if not impossible. And that's just the beginning. There are all sorts of spending and saving habits, opinions about where to put your money, when it's a good time to scrimp, or when it's worth it to spend a little more to save in the long run. One person can think the stock market is a sound long-term investment while the other thinks it's the same as gambling in a casino. There are as many ideas about how to spend and save as there are couples. So work together to set up a budget, and stick to it. If it's appropriate, choose a financial counselor you both agree upon. Then when either or one of you wants to go outside the agreed upon parameters, discuss it with your partner first.

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2) Family. If you are in a relationship relatively early in your life, you will have ideas about how to you should spend the holidays with parents, cousins or siblings. Maybe vacation with them. Your ideas are probably based on how your parents operated-whether you emulated them, or have learned you prefer to do the opposite. If you are in a relationship later in life, when children, stepchildren and their spouses and children are in the picture, it's even trickier. You will have one set of traditions and your partner another. You need to have a talk about how you two will spend time with family-on both sides. What traditions are critically important to each of you that you should maintain? If you're overwhelmed, are there some traditions that can go by the wayside for the sake of your sanity? You need to agree on a plan that's fair to both of you. If an equitable plan seems impossible, counseling may help.

3) Sex. Good sex is key to a good relationship, but it's often a topic that's difficult to discuss. It's important to get over that reluctance, and may require professional guidance. But it's worth it because a good sexual bond with your partner can be a source of rich satisfaction. Remember that regardless of your age at the beginning of your relationship, you probably began with an overwhelming physical attraction that is bound to ebb over time. And then you may discover you each have different libidos. Life stressors affect your sex drive and your partner's too, no doubt at a different rate. Also, over time, your sex drives change, your bodies change and your interests change. Keeping an open conversation about sex throughout your relationship will enhance it.

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"Help me with my marriage crisis" is the plea that many people shout out when they are desperate to save their marriages. When a couple utters those magic words "I do" they are not looking to be part of a divorce statistic, but unfortunately 1 in 3 marriages fail! You are not taught how to live "happily ever after" at school. So when couples enter into a marriage they are really flying by the seats of their pants.

Quite often the main underlying cause of divorce is not recognising or dealing with problems when they arise. When problems start to build, and they are not dealt with properly, it leaves both parties feeling more frustrated. This is generally the point at which most couples throw in the towel and decide that divorce is the only option open to them. So how can you pick yourself up from this situation and help your marriage crisis?

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One essential piece of advice to help with a marriage in crisis is to deal with a problem as soon as it arises and certainly don' t let it fester. Your partner may not want to take the initiative; however it only takes one person to start the ball rolling so you need to take the lead! Make sure that you talk to your partner and make them understand that you need them to talk to you about their problems and issues so that they can at least be out in the open. If you initiate a conversation, then chances are that they will reciprocate. Tell them that you will be open and honest, and not interrupt until they have finishes airing their views and concerns. Tackle the problems head on, no matter how hard it may seem, and work on them together.

Another great piece of advice that will help with your marriage crisis is to respect your partners' needs (this doesn' t mean giving in to them!) show them that you are putting their needs before yours. Even if they need some time away, it is imperative that you give them this space. If you can make them see that you are prepared to give them that time away, and that you will be there when they are ready to talk, then this will have a much more positive influence on your partner, and possibly upon your marriage.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

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Let's say your marriage is in trouble, and you don't know what to do. Should you just passively accept that divorce is inevitable, or should you stand up and fight? Fighting in this case doesn't mean to come out swinging, but it does mean that there are simple strategies you can use to get your marriage back where you want it to be. There is always hope, right up until the final papers are signed, and if you apply the following steps to preserve your marriage, you just might be surprised at how well you'll be able to turn your life around.

How long has it been since you and your spouse really talked to each other? I'm not talking about passing comments about the weather or the children, but actually discussed the two of you and your relationship? When your lives are hectic with jobs and family, it can be easy to lose sight of the major priority in your lives - your marriage. However, when communication breaks down, your partnership will soon follow. How can you expect to remain emotionally on the same wavelink as your spouse without sharing the things they are going on in your lives? No matter what it takes, you've got to get those lines of communication open and running again. If needs be, you can go so far as to make a talking date with your spouse so that you'll both reserve the time you need to talk.

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Compromise is also a big must in re-building your relationship. Think about the things that really matter in your life, and try to ignore those that aren't going to be life-altering. Prioritize the things that matter most, like your marriage, and don't let any small issues get in the way. A good rule of thumb is to never dispute the points that aren't going to matter tomorrow. If you need to, take the initiative by extending the hand of compromise to your spouse first. Demonstrate the way you'd like your spouse to act, and you just might find him or her starting to meet you halfway.

Think back to the days leading up to your nuptials when you are your spouse were blissfully in love. You didn't hesitate to show your love and affection then, did you? Has that changed? Most likely, if your marriage is in trouble, you no longer are showing each other how much you love them. How many marriages do you suppose have fallen apart just because one or both of the partners feels that the other no longer loves and respects him or her? It happens all the time. You can't just assume that your partner knows that you love them. You have to show it in your daily life.

Now Listen Carefully-

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