Husband Calls Me Names When We Fight: What You Can Do In 15 Minutes to Dramatically Improve Your Marriage

Husband Calls Me Names When We Fight: What You Can Do In 15 Minutes to Dramatically Improve Your Marriage

First things first, why do arguments happen? Arguments happen when two people with different views try to convince each other that they're right. In a marriage (or any other relationship), having a disagreement with your spouse is inevitable. You are your own person with your own set of ideas, thoughts, feelings and emotions (just like your spouse).

However, having a heated discussion with your spouse does not have to turn into a screaming-hair-pulling-tug-of-war-full-blown-argument. Whether you and your spouse have small or escalated fights, the point of an argument is for both of you to be able to express your emotions and thoughts in a healthy way without compromising your relationship.

Successful arguments isn't when you win, it's when you and spouse both still feel respected and both win. Sometimes there isn't a solution to an argument, that's when you and your spouse have to agree to differ. This is where I mention my one and only tip to fights in a marriage.

Acceptance

Acceptance is more than loving your spouse for who they are. Acceptance is when you allow what ever life throws at you to be okay. The more you resist what happens, the more you add pain and suffering to your situation. This does not mean that you can't feel mad or sad at what happened... just take a deep breath and allow what happen to be as is.

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When your spouse says or does something, you can express your emotion in a clear and healthy way without letting those feelings fester. When you tell your spouse how you feel, always tell it using "I" statements and not "You" statements because it can not be argued and least likely to evoke a fight. Accepting that your partner has their own sets of feelings, emotions and opinions will immensely help you share humanity with your significant other.

When you remember that your spouse has their own opinions and has the right to express their emotions, you're less likely to fight to win. Surprisingly, there are a lot of people out there who fight to win and this just causes a vicious cycle of arguments because it leaves their spouse feeling extra vulnerable and more likely to want to instigate another argument so they can win. Like I said, a vicious cycle of nasty arguments that don't have a solution to the problem and only deteriorates the relationship.

Negative and toxic emotions weakens a relationship because you're most likely to take out your feelings on your spouse unless you don't find your own way to diffuse your ticking time-bomb bag of emotions.

People fight. They fight for so many reasons. If you and your spouse can fight resourcefully, where as the argument ends with a solution and each person still feels respected--than your marriage can be saved.

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When a marriage is in trouble, every little thing seems to turn into an argument. This leads to harsh words and hurt feelings. The chain of events continues to escalate until the couple sees no other option but to divorce. Saving a marriage may not be the easiest thing you will ever do, but it is definitely not as hard as going through a divorce.

When your marriage is troubled, the first thing to do is to take a close look at the situation. Where is the main marital strain coming from? It could be finances, communication (or lack of), time, work, etc.

Find the root of the problem. Then talk to your spouse about it. See if they feel the same way. You may be surprised that they think something totally different.

When you talk to each other, always be kind. It is easy to accuse or start yelling. But when you calmly talk about your problem, you will see that it is much easier to fix.

Wait until the two of you have unwound from your day. This could be after dinner, or on a weekend, or any other time that the two of you are most relaxed.

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This may sound hard, but it really isn't. The hardest part is starting. After you get the first words out, you sill see that the words start to flow. Besides the usual 'how was your day?', you could ask your spouse what they thought of a particular movie or television show. You could ask them about something they like to do. Any of these will help to break the ice.

You and your spouse are friends. Best friends. Enough to swear to spend the rest of your lives together. Even best friends have issues, but they get resolved fast.

Can you remember back when you were a kid, and you and your best friend had a fight? You probably thought it was the end of the world - you would never talk to each other again. That is a lot like what you are going through right now, isn't it?

When you remember how, even after the biggest arguments, you and your best friend always worked things out. Now that you are in adulthood, things really aren't that different. You and your best friend will work things out.

Always remember - saving a marriage isn't hard to do. Especially if you compare it to going through a divorce. You and your spouse love each other. That love will get you through this difficult time, and you will have a stronger relationship as a result.

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Divorce is the worst thing that could ever happen to a family, and a lot of people are looking for the most effective approach to stop divorce before things get beyond repair.

After you've spent emotional energy and invested time in a relationship, you feel devastated when it begins to deteriorate. Luckily, there are some steps you can take to prevent a divorce from happening.

You Must Listen When Someone Else is Speaking

More often than not, you'll find that you and your partner bicker over ridiculously unimportant matters like who should mow the lawn, wash the dishes or take the dog on a walk.

Simple discussions have a way of escalating quickly, and the impending argument can leave both parties bewildered, and hurt and wondering how things became so out of control.
The problem may have been that one or both of you weren't really listening to each other.

Usually, when spouses think they are truly communicating, they're truly only attempting to get their own way.

It is important to listen to your partner and don't be inflexible in your views.

If your spouse seems to be very distressed about an issue try to inquire softly about why. You should be willing to listen carefully to the answer, and bear in mind that they'll have another point of view that'll be different from your own, but just as valid.

In fact, this may be the ultimate means of stopping divorce from affecting your relationship.

Allow Your Temper To Cool Off

What is it that you do when you get upset at your wife?
Are you ready to fire back at her with a nasty comeback?

Taking a breather from the talk may give you a chance to settle down.

Even though a physical attack is never acceptable, words can be just as bad. Broken bones and bruises heal, but angry words can cut to a person's core, and never be healed.

Being mindful of your comments, and knowing when you're about to say something very hurtful, will let you to stop before you hurt your partner, and take a break.

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Calling Each Other Names

Observing how you argue with your spouse is one of the initial steps you should take when trying to stop divorce. Have you ever uttered nasty, biting remarks?

Saying demeaning things to your spouse or swearing at them should not take place at all. It's better to inform them how you feel; never call them names.

Using this kind of approach will never mend your arguments, as your primary goal here is to harm your spouse on the emotional level.

Making a Truly Productive List

We use lists on a day to day basis to assist us plan our meals, keeping within a budget, or knowing when to show up at a particular event; but there are also ways in which lists can help to make our marriages stronger.

Make enough time in your day to jot down all the things about your partner that you fell in love with, and be very particular with what you include. Then, combine it with all the things that are positive traits, and qualities that your spouse currently possesses.

Lastly, include any negative or annoying aspects about your spouse and contrast the three lists together; if your first two lists are more dominating than the last, you will be able to find a resolution to fix your marriage and prevent divorce from being filed.

Maintaining Conviction and Dedication

At times you have to rely on perseverance to get through harsh times. This point in your marriage may be one of those. Both partners need to decide that the relationship is worth saving and make the decision to work things out instead of undermining each other.

This does not mean that you roll over and play dead, and let your spouse do whatever they wish. Of course not. Nevertheless, it does denote that you will need to dig your heels in and work hard to make things work.

Reexamine the activities you and your wife engaged in while you were dating in the beginning of your relationship. Did you ever open the door up for your wife?

It could be that you prepared a special meal. Revisit the actions that helped your spouse feel the love you have for them.

In doing so, you will be filled with the peace of having found a grounds of understanding and compassion, and you will have avoided the unsettling reality of divorce.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

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What men want is a woman who knows how to be a woman. If they're straight, anyway. Women who embrace their femininity have control over men who are powerless it. And guess what? That's most likely your man right now. I'll let you in on a little secret: he wants to surrender himself to you. You just have to learn how to unleash 100% of your "female-ness", which I'll explain from a guy's point of view in this article.

There's certain things that women can do to a man that men can't do. And I'm not trying to be crass, I'm talking about things like emotional control and communication.

Chuck a whole lot of guys into a room and all they'll talk about are women, cars and sports. Sure, guys will talk about that with certain girls as well, but the added benefit that girls have is that they can dig into the reasons as to why the man is into that in the first place.

Also, if a guy is worked up or angry, the "enlightened" female will be able to control the man's emotions and avert a potential disaster if her man overreacts to something. Very powerful indeed.

Men choose to get married to certain women (in a Western society, anyway) because they want to serve and protect them for life, but what the vows don't mention is that it works both ways. I'd say that women do more of the serving and protecting.

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There's plenty of things that men get out of a woman's femininity that they're not aware of. Here's some of the things that I like about my partner:

1. Physical touch: a female's physical touch is one of those things that you can't just live without. Whether we're biologically programmed to respond to it or whether it's something that we just inherently love, there's nothing quite like it.

2. Privileges: my wife lets me buy her things, take care of her and provide for her. "Lets", Jack? It sounds like she's got you wrapped around her pinkie. Far from it, my friend. I couldn't do those things for any woman. It'd be somewhat stalkerish, no? She has the right and she's given it to me.

3. More of a man: by allowing me to serve her as a husband, that makes me feel like I'm more of a man. I'm simple-minded. I am traditional. All I want is a woman to serve who will respect me and I have that in my wife.

So ladies, just remember that femininity is a power. Embrace it and your man will be weak at the knees and yours forever.

Now Listen Carefully-

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