Husband Corrects Me All The Time: Constant Criticism From Husband

Husband Corrects Me All The Time: Constant Criticism From Husband

No one likes to be criticized, fairly or not. It's always difficult to deal with, and it can hurt. Because I'm a writer of books and columns, and because I've lectured, appeared on radio and TV, I am sometimes recognized in public. I'm glad I'm not more recognizable, for along with the lovely feedback, gratitude and complements I get from many people, others feel compelled to criticize, often in a mean way, and often without having even read whatever book or column they're criticizing. So, I've been forced to learn to deal with negative comments, even when they're mean-spirited, and intended to hurt me. Because we all get criticized from time to time, you may find the following ideas helpful.

Whether criticism is intended to be helpful or harmful, you can use it positively. Evaluate the critic - is it a good friend, a kind person, a mentor? Criticism from any of these is likely to be constructive, and you can probably trust it and learn from it. Is the criticism from a competitive rival? Then use its mirror image -- it's probably something powerful about you that threatens the rival. Is it from a lover or intimate person? Then it can hurt a lot, because intimates know where your soft spots are -- and, they often project their own fears onto you. Whatever the source of the criticism, ignore it for a few hours or a day, until the sting has subsided, and then evaluate its usefulness to you. If a trusted mentor is offering constructive criticism, it may be a great gift to you, once you have absorbed it. Stretch yourself a bit, and look at the comment from an objective viewpoint, and see how much truth you think it holds. Above all, be true to yourself, and know that your own good opinion of yourself is most valuable if it is based on truth.

Find out how to get your spouse to go crazy head over heels for you and desire you in a way you have never experienced! You will be amazed at how good it feels to have your spouse's attention and affection again - Learn more here

There are a few things you can do to help the criticism "roll off your back." First, use a sense of humor: if you can come up with a clever funny remark that diffuses the criticism, that is always the most effective way to disarm it. Second, give an "adult time out" to anyone who is negative and critical: emotionally retreat into politeness. Be very pleasant, but distant --say "Yes, please" "No, thank you" and respond politely to any request, but don't share any personal information. This usually causes a negative person to snap out of it. Third, ignore any negative thing that is said -- just treat it as if it didn't happen. In this way, you don't reward it, and the other person will eventually stop.

Don't try to motivate yourself with criticism. You can be self-critical because you don't realize the consequences -- if you're critical of a friend or loved one, they will be angry at you, and perhaps leave, but most of us don't realize how self-critical we are, and how much it damages our lives, so we continue to harp on ourselves. Also, if you were around a parent who was very critical when you were a child, it will feel "normal" to you, and you won't realize how it really sounds. Self-criticism damages your quality of life in several ways: it eats away at your self-esteem, which can make you needy in relationships and keep others from getting close. It also leads to excess spending, drinking, eating, etc. in an attempt to feel better.

Overpowering yourself with internal criticism or external coercion makes you feel oppressed and rebellious. The intimidation and pressure eventually leads to paralysis and procrastination. In my experience with myself and my clients, the only kind of motivation that works permanently grows out of celebration and appreciation. It's easy to remember in equation form: celebration + appreciation = motivation When you find a way to appreciate yourself for what you've already accomplished, and to celebrate your previous successes, you will find you are naturally motivated to accomplish more. No struggle, no hassle -- you accomplish out of the pure joy of success!

Discover one of the most destructive things you're probably doing to your marriage right now that is destroying your chances of saving it. Learn the key tips to make your spouse turn towards you instead of turning away - Learn more here

Guidelines for learning self-appreciation

To become proficient in self-appreciation, try the following suggestions:

Make a note: Write positive comments on your daily calendar to yourself for jobs well done or any achievements you want to celebrate. Or you can paste stickers on your daily calendar as you accomplish goals daily frequent positive commentary is a very effective way to reward yourself and remind yourself of your success.

Look to your childhood: Use activities that felt like a celebration in your childhood: did your family toast a celebration with champagne or sparkling cider, a gathering of friends, or a thankful prayer? Create a celebration environment: use balloons, music, flowers, candles, or set your table with the best china. Use the exercise on your family style in chapter two to find ideas.

Visible reminders: Surround yourself with visible evidence of your successes. Plant a commemorative rosebush or get a new houseplant to mark a job well done, or display photos of fun events, and sports or hobby trophies. It's a constant reminder that you appreciate yourself and when you see them daily, you'll feel the appreciation.

Reward yourself: A new trashy romance novel or detective thriller can be a great reward/celebration for reading your required technical books.

Party!: Celebrate a cherished friendship with an impromptu lunchtime picnic and a balloon. Or with tickets to a ball game. (adapted from It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction)

Thinking about regaining the status of "Happily Married"? It is possible, and is not difficult if you think it is not. But exactly how you do so? If you would like the source most couples used to revive their relationship, strengthened their marriage, regain trust and love in the marriage and not giving up then visit this Helpful Site.

To learn how to save your marriage even if alone at first, then check out this plan of actions that is 100% guaranteed. Over 60,000 couples were able to save their marriages by doing the very same series of steps that you could be doing. If they saved their marriages then you can too! Click Here to see how it's done...

"There is always some madness in love, but there is also always some reason in madness." - Friedrich Nietzsche

Are you walking on eggshells around each other in an attempt to keep the peace... or more likely to avoid a full blown domestic war? Regardless, this type of situation occurs as a result of both intentional as well as unintentional and unconscious impulses to control each other - the power, the authority, and the decision making by both of you. It is the release of tension that leads to overt and clear assertion of anger and self-righteousness. This is all in response to genuine internal pain, cumulative trauma, misinterpretation of feelings, confusion over circumstances, and growing distance from your partner.

The notion of saving your marriage is more likely the exception rather than the rule. Regardless of the outcome - whether you choose to separate from each other, decide to remain together and grow the relationship - or for some, work to save your marriage - will produce a change in the way you view your situation, your environment, and especially yourself. Over time you will rethink everything. This is a good thing. And actually, it's the only way it works.

If you think about it, your decision to continue to participate in the relationship or not has no bearing on what happens next. You are now starting to think outside the box - to change the way you've been doing things, and to re-evaluate the way you react to pressure, feelings, events, and personal circumstances. You are searching for better options - and new ways of thinking, as past behaviors only feed the feelings of self-punishment and defeat. You will unknowingly be developing a preference for responding instead of reacting, and taking responsibility for what happens from here on out. The whole tone in which you relate to each other will improve, and your true values will motivate and guide your thoughts and behavior toward a more productive outcome.

Do you ever feel like the only way to resolve a conflict is by slamming the door and walking away? Or by punishing your partner? It doesn't have to be this way. Find out incredibly powerful strategies for resolving your marriage conflicts in a more constructive and less emotionally stressful way - Find out here

Contrary to numerous claims, nobody is going to save your marriage. Counseling and intellectual input (books) may get the ball rolling, but will never resolve a conflict that can only be managed through voluntary self-improvement by both partners. Counseling, at best, may be able to observe and identify unhealthy and unsupportive behaviors in each of the partners. But whether a couple decides to seek help, and remain together, or separate, divorce, etc...they are already in the process of assessing their emotions and rethinking their behaviors (self-improvement).

The bond that partners share is nearly impenetrable. It is this unconditional love, and the deeply felt sense of a single shared identity that is uniquely theirs, and regarded as sacred. It is the result of time spent together, the measure of intimacy enjoyed, and the cumulative experiences and quality of life shared together. The bond is mutual. It holds value for them.

This is to say - they have a history together. A couple's shared history has a powerful influence on their personal development as individuals. They know how to adapt, adjust, respond and compromise in order to maintain all that is in both of their best interests - security and stability. There is nothing more devastating than a relationship in conflict, where intimacy, mutual values, pride, and bond are threatened. This is why infidelity is so common, and so easy. There are no inhibitions or expectations (or boundaries) when you interact with someone you have no history with. On the other hand, history can play a significant role in strengthening a commitment or bond. Infidelity has no real meaning. It is finite, temporary, and unpredictable. History has maintained an abundant source of reliable and lasting values, pride, and security for the couple to fall back on.

"Never interfere with a boy / girl fight." - William S. Burroughs

The only chance of successful recovery is to work it out for themselves, and by themselves. This involves self-improvement, emergence of real values, encouragement of healthier behaviors motivated by truth. Both have to agree, and share in the possibilities that brought them together in the first place. This way the misinterpretation, and unnecessary perception of tension and conflict is abandoned - and transcended. This is growth. It is the course of natural maturation - and for most of us, the only way it works.

There are two emotions that you are probably holding onto that may be pushing your spouse into the arms (and eventually the bed) OF SOMEONE ELSE. Find out what those emotions are and how to keep them under check- Click Here

Your present situation is not misfortune or outside interference in your life. We're only used to assuming it is that way. It is life running its natural, unpredictable course. We have the capacity to manage our lives and situations for better or for worse. We become creative, resourceful, objective, and meet challenges without thinking with our personal motivation and self-interest in mind. We know that something bigger is at work, and we tend to favor the most useful possible outcome. Everyone benefits from a win / win solution. Anything else takes us right back to where we started - being controlled by impulsive and irrational thoughts and behaviors, that determine and limit the range of possibilities available to us.

Take 1 day at a time. There are a lot more than 12 steps. It's a lifelong journey that you can experience and enjoy when you grant yourself the dignity to see it as such and make it so. It is not a battle, nor a contest. Let it happen. Go with the flow. Respond to impulses and try to see our role in the big picture. We only get to live this life one time. It is up to us how we choose to proceed.

If your marriage is not your idea of a good time, then you can re-define the significance of - "a good time". Whatever your choice - separation, divorce, staying together, or rethinking your personal values. Life is going to keep happening. Personally, I find pride in the opportunity to share it with someone.

Are you tired of living in a relationship in which you feel neglected? Many married people find themselves feeling alone and rejected by their spouse. If you feel taken for granted, there's a way to change that now.

To learn more about how to transform your marriage so your spouse loves and adores you more than they ever has before, visit this helpful site.

Effective communication is an indispensable tool for mutual understanding in every human relationship. The absence of it has resulted to wars, rancor, squabbles and suspicion. To have a sound marriage relationship therefore, effective communication is highly recommended. It builds understanding, love and trust, and eliminates the chances of conflicts. Effective communication in this sense means freely shearing and reasoning together. It also includes the ways and manners the partners talk to each other.

The atmosphere for effective communication should first be created by ensuring that no one is afraid to say his or her mind. Intimidation or threat should be completely absent. No ones opinion should be disdained no matter how nonsensical it may appear. Partners in marriage should carry each other along in their decisions by seeking and respecting the views of one another. Women especially, have the habit of recoiling into their shell when they notice that their views are usually ignored. Confidence has to be built into such people by showing regard to their opinion. Politeness at all times should be the watchword.

If you’re on the verge of divorce… Or if your spouse is cheating on you… Or if your marriage JUST PLAIN ISN’T WORKING… I strongly urge you to read everything on the next page before it's too late and time runs out- Click Here

Secrecy on the part of any partner will hamper effective communication and ultimately result to conflicts in the marriage. One cardinal truth every husband or wife must know and adjust to is the principle or doctrine of oneness in marriage. Anybody who does not believe in it or is not ready to adapt to it should not think of marriage. Marriage is for mature men and women who understand all its implications and are ready to obey them. People in marriage are expected to be open to each other in all areas of marital life. With that there communication will be forthright and sincere. In some societies, some people still live in marriage with the primitive fable that a man should not allow his wife to know all about him, especially his finances. Such men, of course, hardly have any effective communication with their wives.

Shearing together requires closeness of the partners. The two should not allow any kind of barrier to exist between them. Not having enough time to stay together at home is a serious barrier that has wrecked homes. If there is no such closeness that creates intimacy, how can the husband understand the feelings of the wife, and vice versa? Some legitimate things like ones job or domestic chores can become barriers to effective communication in marriage if they do not create room for closeness.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

Click here to save your marriage and rebuild it into a more connected, satisfying relationship.