Husband Is Distant and Moody: Husband Distant and Withdrawn

There is some trouble between husband and wife? Don't worry. If you have grasped the following four rules for restoring the affection of a couple, everything will be OK again.

I. Enumerate the other side's strong points
Generally, a couple trapped in troubles often only see the shortcomings of the other side, thus leading to increasing repulsion for each other. Of course, the other side has his (her) own strong points besides bad ones, but if the contradiction between husband and wife develops to the phase where one person feels the other has nothing but shortcomings, it is probably the passive transference psychology has caught the two sides. At that moment, they should use the rule of "finding out the strong points", which is to solve the problem by consciously spotting the other side's virtues. There is a "three-week plan" to improve the conjugal relationship, according to the psychologist, requiring couples in troubles to spot one merit of their spouse and tell him (her) each day within three weeks. At the beginning, it may seem a bit awkward, but it will get natural a few days later. By the 21st day, most couples find it not a difficult thing to enumerate the other side's merits. Certainly, the end of this method is to make them get rid of the passive transference psychology, so the time period can vary so long as the purpose is achieved.

II. Change the viewpoint
Psychologists have found that probably half the couples in a weak relationship are only due to stronger individual characters of each other. The result is that they hold each other in detestation and get along very awkwardly. In fact, people will find that many things do not involve the right and wrong or principles if seen in another viewpoint, so it is not necessary to take them too seriously. And moreover, they should change their own habitual behavior and let themselves tolerate and forgive each other and try to adapt to the other side's individual characters. If they are able to be tolerant of the other side by first changing himself (herself), it is believed that the crisis between husband and wife is not apt to take shape.

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III. Love convention
A couple often quarreled over some minor matters, later on the husband proposed to conclude the following convention: 1. The two sides should restrain themselves no matter what happens; 2. If there is disagreement and one person wants to speak loudly, separate each other for a moment first; 3. Treat each other in an honest way; 4. Express love to each other; 5. If one person is unhappy, another one will try his (her) best to help him (her) to forget the unhappy thing; 6. The couple will check each other's business of the current day and make a plan for the next day together before going to bed every night. As expected, their life became much more harmonious than before after they did the same way. For those couples with irritable temper and strong self-esteem, the restriction of love convention is more obvious.

IV. Temporary separation
Most couples had such psychological experience: even if they were together all the time, they yearned for each other once separated. The reason is very simple: separation offers a favorable condition for both sides to ponder over the problem calmly. In addition, people generally have the mentality that will somehow emphasize the virtue and get rid of the evil by the light of nature in the memory of the past as time goes on, and as a result, the happy memory will gradually be conspicuous. So, those couples not in very harmonious relation should consciously use the method of temporary separation so as to waken the deep affection between the husband and wife during the separation.

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It seems as though as a society that we've almost gone full circle. Marriage used to be considered sacred and couples would do anything, especially for the sake of their kids, to stay together. Then following the hippie age of self-discovery, the "Me" generation came along and while people were figuring out what's in it for them, forgot all about what's in it for their spouses. Divorce rates soured and children were being raised with two sets of keys - one for mommy's house and one for daddy's. Like everything in life, the pendulum appears to be swinging back again. Saving my marriage appears far more the mantra than throwing it away.

Marriages are surprisingly resilient. They can truly survive most anything. Leaving aside some of the really obvious reasons that someone might highly recommend you leave a marriage - beating or excessive drug use - couples are working through a lot and ways to save a marriage are on the rise.

While just as few as ten years ago cheating might have caused two people to separate, couples are finding ways to save a marriage and work it out. Yes, marriages can not only survive cheating or something equally debilitating, but they can actually become stronger. Learning how to save a marriage has people working through these issues and figuring out what made a spouse cheat. Clearly whatever is the cause of a cheating spouse is complex. Nobody wakes up one day and decides he or she is going to cheat. It is a confluence of circumstances that ends with either divorce or looking for ways to save a marriage. And it's true, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. The ones who work through it and find ways to save a marriage are overall better than those who just give up!

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For a spouse whose goal is saving my marriage vs. giving up, she or he will stop at nothing to achieve this. Counseling, talking with a friend, seeking out spiritual guidance or going away together are just a few of the many ways to save a marriage. If you are going through a rough spot, you may have a few ideas of your own.

This is not to suggest that if things are unbearable that you look for ways to save a marriage. Clearly learning how to save a marriage is not always the right choice. There are circumstances where it's best to part ways. If a spouse is unwilling to change, seek help, stop abusing either you or drugs or drinking or something else that is equally severe is the issue, then sometimes going separate ways is the answer. But even in those circumstances, remember, even people who have serious issues need help and maybe the root of the problem lies in therapy for him or her, which can then lead to the two of you finding ways to save a marriage.

Before calling it quits, take the power back! Take a look at what the issues are, empower yourself and your spouse and consider "saving my marriage" as being second only to breathing. It really is all about power!

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It's quite interesting to note how the rate of marriages ending up in divorce and separation seems to be increasing year by year. Gone are the days when marriage was hailed sacred and that the married couples never part their ways no matter what. Nowadays, a lot of couples don't even consider keeping the relationship and don't even bother learning ways to save a marriage. They just go on their own separate ways just like that and let their divorce lawyers handle everything.

However, if you are one of those folks who are willing to fight for the marriage they treasure so much, then by all means do everything that you can. Always keep in mind that you have every right to save the marriage and the relationship that you consider precious to you even though most people around you decide to throw theirs out of the window. Perhaps you need to learn more marriage tips to be successful at that.

Here are four ways or tips to save the marriage you think is worth keeping:

Stop yelling
You get the picture: couples arguing, faces close to each other but still yelling their lungs out. The reason why several couples tend to yell at each other when they argue is that they want the other to listen and hear them out. But screaming actually makes it worse because neither you nor your spouse understands what each other are saying. Calm yourselves down. Have a seat and take turns on listening at each other.

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Avoid conflicts
Although arguments and some fights are part of a married couple's life, you should still try to avoid conflicts as much as possible especially those that don't make sense. For instance, if you see your partner is having a rough day, perhaps you should avoid doing things that may piss him/her off even more. A little consideration for each other can help end or prevent unnecessary conflicts.

Visit your marriage counselor
Some couples only pay their marriage counselor a visit when they have existing issues. How about setting up an appointment with your marriage counselor even if you and your partner don't have current problems with your relationship? S/he still can help you with some useful advice and more marriage tips.

Enhance communication
Misunderstanding or miscommunication, these two are contributing factors to a failing marriage. How will you and your partner understand the needs of each other if you don't communicate effectively? How will you know what's going on in your relationship if you don't even bother listening?

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

Relationships are hard. Marriage is hard. We all have fights, but when is a marriage in trouble? I would like to share with you a few marriage problem signs that you do not want to ignore.

Sign #1: Not talking as much. Have you noticed that you and your spouse have not been chit chatting as often? This is not good! Communication is extremely important in any relationship, and when it starts to break down like this, people can drift apart.

Sign #2: Small problems become big problems. Things that use to just be small arguments turn into full blown war. You find that it doesn't take much for a heated debate to break out.

Sign #3: You fight more often, and about more topics then before. It may seem as though you agree on less and less. This also includes minor issues that didn't use to be a big deal.

Sign #4: Other people are getting more involved in your lives. Is a mother-in-law or neighbor becoming a big part of the marital issues? Ideally marital issues are dealt with and kept between partners. When outsiders start coming in, it signals a further breakdown of marital communication.

I did not share those signs to scare you, I just want you to understand some things to look for if you notice your relationship heading for shaky waters. The best thing you can do is recognize that there are some problems, and both make a commitment to getting things sorted back together. Being irrational doesn't help anyone, so try to focus and dedicate your energy on repairing what you have. Your marriage is worth it.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.


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There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying... Visit Save The Marriage to find out more.

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