Husband Throws Things At Me: Husband Throws My Stuff Away

We all know that when we are in a relationship, that everything is not going to be perfect and arguments will occur. This is okay and it is perfectly normal. Every person is different and no one is going to agree with a person 100% of the time, even if they are the most compatible couple in the world. One thing that I would like to address in this segment is that when these arguments occur, are you fighting fair or are you just fighting. Now arguing can be a really dangerous thing. It can cause grudges; it can cause the couple to argue over the same thing for hours, days, weeks, or even months. I am going to explain to you that this type of arguing, although popular, it is not the best way to be, and to give you a perspective of fighting fair, so that the arguments do not control and /or ruin your relationship.

Taking the Bass out of your voice

When I say this to someone, there are several things that I want them to do. First, I would like to them to examine the tone of their voice. Is it harsh, is it sarcastic, is it loud? The tone of your voice can affect the way a person reacts to you. Have you ever noticed that when in a disagreement, as soon as a person gets loud, then the other person starts to get loud? If you respond in sarcasm, the other person gets mad at your sarcasm. Therefore, a quick way to avoid this is to just take the bass out of your voice and adjust your tone. Speak in your normal voice and say what you have to say. This way, you will more than likely will get the same reaction from your partner.

No name calling

I think that this is a fairly easy one to understand. Many people when in an argument are quick to call names or say things to the other person that is intentionally hurtful. Although, they may love this person, out of anger they say something that can be very mean to the other person. The thing about these types of words or reactions is that once said, they can never really be erased from the person's mind. So even if there is an apology, the damage is still done. If you call them names, this can lead to low self esteem or perhaps even depression. If you accuse them of cheating, it may push them into cheating. So chose your words, and don't practice harsh words against your partner.

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The last point is, listen, don't accuse, and acknowledge the person's point of view.

One main reason that arguments escalate is because each person does not feel like they are being heard. I have seen or heard arguments, in which each person was essentially saying the same thing, but in different ways. Because they were not listening to one another they continued to argue. I have also seen an argument go on for so long that the point of the argument is lost, and the people involved become confused about what they were trying to say. The best way I feel I can illustrate this last point is to use a scenario.

Here we have a husband and wife that have just gotten home from a Christmas party. The wife says to her husband:

"I am angry at you, because you left me at the party and I felt like I was being ignored the whole time."

A none listening response could be for the husband to walk away, say "whatever," or respond in anger. All of which could escalate the situation or leave unresolved issues in the air, which can harbor in the relationship.

An accusing response could be:

"Well you're the one that walked off will Bill's wife, I didn't even know where you were I didn't ignore you."

Or

"When I was at your company picnic you did the same thing to me."

I call these accusing phrases because it puts the blame back on the other person. In the second statement, it not only accuses the other person, but brings up and old situation that had nothing to do with this one.

Now let's look at a better response, and that is acknowledging the person's perceptive. The husband can simply say:

"I am sorry that you felt I was ignoring you and that I hurt your feelings, that was never my intention."

Notice that the husband is not accepting blame or even saying that it was his fault. The only thing that he is doing is saying the facts. There are that is his wife is hurt, and that she felt hurt by something that she felt he did. The husband even added, "That was never my intention," To let his wife know that he did not seek to hurt her on purpose. And really, this is more than likely all she really wanted... to be heard and her feelings understood.

In short it is human nature to get angry, and if your argument got so out of hand that you ended it in anger, that's okay. However, before you go to bed, really try to rid yourself of that anger and any negative emotions toward your partner, so that you do not bring it into the next day, week, months, or even years to come.

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One of the most annoying things about understanding men is how we can sometimes interpret "no" as meaning "yes". More annoyingly than that is how we can sometimes sulk about being told no. For this reason, there are a lot of women who are afraid that their man would simply grow unresponsive if being constantly denied what they want to do and simply ignore their woman and do whatever they like or even worse, leave her. Here are three ways that my wife tells me "no" that actually make me happy.

1. The level head

This is something that the wife or girlfriend can do to demonstrate that her saying no can actually be a good thing. My wife has an extremely fast metabolism and can actually eat quite a lot, sometimes even more than I can.

When I go out, I usually order too much, being overconfident in how much I can eat. There was this one time I was going out for pizza with her. I wanted the family size because I was feeling hungry. She said no and lucky she did; I was full sharing a large pizza with her. Show how level-headed you are and your man will grow to respect your "no's".

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2. Different Opinions

This is another way that the lady can sneak in a "no" without offending her man too much. There is nothing wrong with having a different opinion on a certain topic to your man. Having a different opinion doesn't show that you're wrong, it shows you care just as much about it.

Sneak in a no and have a gentle argument about the topic. This will show your man that at least you both care about a certain topic enough to have thought about it to have opinions about it. He would prefer this than blind agreement.

3. The Occasional Denial

This is probably the "no" that's hardest for women to do. The man is usually the leader, the one who goes about and does whatever he pleases. If he has any sense of decency whatsoever, he'll tell the woman what he's doing and where he's going.

If you can step in and say, "no, I wanted you to do this instead," then regardless of whether he agrees to help you out or not, him noticing that you have to courage to say no will make him more likely to comply with you next time. It simply takes practice and a realization that your man is on par with you, not above you.

If you're having trouble understanding men, just realize that we have to be told "no" sometimes to really get anywhere in life. If we got everything we wanted, there would be no challenge. We seek challenges and if our woman can provide it, there's a greater chance that we'll stay with her.

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God is the architect and creator of the family. He has a definite and specific purpose for every single family. He had something in mind when He allowed you to marry your spouse and before He blessed you with that child/children. In Matt 26:24, the scriptures says "The Son of man goeth as it is written of him... " There is something Heaven has written concerning your home and it must be fulfilled whether the devil likes it or not. Failure to fulfill it means working against God's plan and purpose. But do you know what? The devil knows this truth. He knows that once the family is strong and she gets it right, he is in trouble. He knows once the family discovers her God-giving destiny, his kingdom is in trouble. Hence, there is a rage from the pit of hell.

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Hell is foaming with rage. The enemy has changed strategies and is sending his agents out into the world to destroy families, homes, children, destinies of countless number of souls. He is on a desperate drive with an agenda to pollute families. This is a call for you to rise up. Daddy rise up! Mummy wake up! Stop sleeping. You have been sleeping and snoring for so long and the enemy has destroyed your home before your very eyes. Rise up and take charge, The devil is not resting on his oars, he is very desperate now because he knows he has a very short time. Do you also know that part of the agenda of the enemy for this end time is to have a representative in every home i.e. he wants to ensure that he initiates either any of the children or parents or both so that he could have a legal ground to operate and torment the family and disrupt the agenda of God for that family. Thus, this is not the time to relax but rather a time to face the enemy squarely. He must let go of your husband, wife and children. It is time to take your family back.

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We attract what we are ready for. What that really means is that the more time and effort we put into being the kind of person we want to be the healthier our relationships become. When I coach people to take action and expand their sense of themselves they begin to attract new people into their lives and their current relationships become more rewarding.

Recently I coached a woman who had had a number of disappointing relationships and much conflict with her co-workers. She worked hard at strengthening her sense of self by taking positive action steps. As her confidence increased she began to expect more from the people around her. No longer would she put up with emotional abuse and manipulation. By learning better relationship skills she indeed began attracting positive people into her life and was able to resolve conflicts with co-workers.

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In time she began meeting people who appreciated her and she she let go of people who were trying to pull her back. She found that she had strengths that she had not even known she had.

This is what happens when one seriously starts working on upgrading oneself. Your sense of who you are changes. You form an invisible boundary around yourself to which you are the gatekeeper. It puts you in charge of whom you let in and who stays out. The result is that your self confidence grows and you feel in charge of your own life.

By working on self-mastery you indeed attract what you are ready for. We form relationships based on emotional compatibility. It follows that as we increase our emotional fitness we will attract someone who is emotionally in a similar place.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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