I Can't Stand Being Around My Husband: I Don't Want To Be Around My Husband Anymore

I Can't Stand Being Around My Husband: I Don't Want To Be Around My Husband Anymore

Anger. Bitterness. Resentment. Frustration. These are all emotions that are commonplace in a marriage where one or both partners feel that their needs are not being met. You may feel that your spouse never listens to what you have to say. You may not even talk to your spouse that often, much less get along. Discover three steps you can take to restore the balance in your relationship, where there are few feelings left that you're fond of.

Step 1: Try not to retaliate.

While not the best course of action, some spouses decide to give the other the silent treatment to punish them for their words or actions. The spouse who is giving the silent treatment believes that they are entitled to this type of retribution sometimes because it's the only thing they can do to retaliate. Since these types of couples rarely communicate and when and if they do, there are only shouting matches or one-sided interactions, doing something back to hurt the other may seem like the most natural thing to do. So, stop the silent treatment or anything else you're inclined to do to get your spouse back. Instead, communicate.

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Step 2: Communicate your feelings.

By communicating I mean doing it in such a way that your wife or husband can actually receive it. When one or both of you is angry or in the midst of something that's negatively affecting you, that time is not the time to say something. If you were to express yourself then, your spouse could not receive it. Instead, choose to withdraw yourself from the interaction, by saying, "I'd like to talk about this later, but am not in the frame of mind to do it now." Then, come back together and continue what had taken place previously when you're both no longer caught up in the middle of it. Choosing to do this will ensure that your spouse actually listens, as opposed to defending his or her position. It also allows for both of you to remain more objective.

Step 3: Release the results.

This is part of removing yourself from the equation. Sure, you want to resolve the situation your way. Or, you want to make sure that if you don't get your way that your partner knows how unhappy you are with how it went. Neither way is the best way to go if you're striving for a healthy relationship. Accept that you're not always going to get your way. Life sometimes isn't fair. Letting go or releasing how you want something to turn out may be the very thing you need to do. Your spouse may then let go of trying to be right or get his or her way, and you may find that you get what you wanted all along. If that doesn't happen, you might realize that you no longer harbor nearly as many negative emotions regarding your spouse.

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It is so easy to work your life away, forget about your family, your partner and your relationship. People putting work before family is such a common marriage problem that seems to pop up time and time again.

It's OK for a while, your partner will understand that you need to put some time and effort into your career especially if it generates a good income but as time goes on and the 'W' word pops up again and again, even if your partner enjoys the benefits of your efforts, all patience fades and the realisation sets in that work is more important!!

'I used to know a couple who spent most of their life apart. He worked nights and she worked days. She enjoyed spending the money that night shifts generated, loved new clothes, new cars and all the little luxuries a comfortable life style brings but hated her partner being tired when he was at home. They were between a rock and a hard place with him knowing that if he gave up nights bang went the luxuries and more than likely bye bye wife but if he carried on working nights and striving for promotion he was dead in the water anyway. What a choice. Needless to say they never reached a compromise, she wasn't willing to wait for the promotion and a return to day shifts, so they are no longer married.'

Working excessively long hours, travelling a lot and constantly leading separate lives is bound to put a strain on your relationship and it has proven to be a real relationship killer, a common marriage problem that is prolific in the 'career' society. Just look at the number people that are addicted to long unsociable working hours and then see how many of them are still married.

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I've only ever met a handful of couples who are truly comfortable with, at best, a weekend relationship and these are couples that have learned and are happy to live independent lives. The problem in their relationships will come when the long hours and travelling comes to an end and they have to learn to live with each other 24/7.

How many partners spend their whole life at work, rarely seeing their children and having little time for their spouse? Their partners so often feel neglected, crave adult company, and as time goes on, the neglected partner's cries go on ignored the relationship begins to wither and fade and the couple tend to grow apart.

When children are involved it is even more difficult with just one partner having to make sure they are around. That they are the ones there in the mornings and there in the evenings and that they alone have to revolve their whole lives around children and school. Again this pressure on one partner is all too common, a marriage problem that seems to be ignored by spouses who tend to avoid their responsibilities under the misguided understanding that their partners can and are happy to cope.

Those early years, when your children are growing up are very special and are years that can never be recaptured. They aren't years that should just pass you by at your desk under the false impression that next time your child wants you it will be different, you just need to clear this project and then the next and then the next..... It's never any different.

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Children struggle with the concept of work being more important than them and what is going on in their lives. They are too young to understand the concept that their parent is just short sighted, perhaps confused as to what should take priority in their lives. Money doesn't mean much to a child.

When work takes over your life, no matter what you best intentions are, if your vision isn't understand and accepted by your family and they aren't 100% behind you all of the way they will learn to resent the time you spend at your desk rather than with them. They will feel abandoned, unwanted and unloved.

If you want to revolve your life around a work driven environment you must make sure that that your partner has the same all consuming driving ambition. If either one in a relationship feels that work has taken over the family life it is time to sit down and discuss what is important in to you both. Consider the issues, understand the feelings on both sides, think about the children and work out what is best for the individuals, the relationship and the family as a whole.

Catch this common marriage problem before it develops into something more serious , break the habit, don't loose your family over something you probably will learn to regret, save your marriage before it's too late.

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On the day I told my husband "I do," I never really understood how much having children would change our marriage. While we didn't have children until 8 years after getting married, it had a profound effect on everything in our relationship, including our finances, our sex life, our personalities, and our time. Can you identify with me?

Marriage involves a lot of things, good and bad. Often, as women we allow the tough times to hinder us from giving our husbands the love and respect they deserve. As women, we tend to be very emotional. We want to feel loved by our husbands regardless of the situation. It's a sense of security and it reassures us that things will be okay when we feel loved by our husbands. But what happens when our husbands don't give us that "loving feeling"? It can make us feel insecure, rejected, unappreciated, and isolated in the marriage. As a result, this can push us farther away from our husbands and cause us to draw closer to our children.

While it's often a challenge to choose between marriage and kids, (especially when young children are involved), your relationship with your husband in most cases, will always take precedence. In the Bible, it says, the two become one, (Mark 10:8). This means that the husband and wife establish a unique bond like no other relationship; but it never says that you become one with your kids.

While it's important to take care of your children and raise them with godly principles, your husband is more important because you have made an agreement to let nothing or nobody, including your kids come between the two of you.

If you have distanced yourself from your husband, I suggest you first, take some time alone and consider how you lost focus of your marriage. Were you disappointed, hurt, or angry with your husband at some point? Why are you feeling this way? Understand that negative feelings can surface and fester over a period of time. As a result these emotions can cause you to slowly lose respect for your husband and often we express this disrespect through smart comments, a lack of emotion, withholding sex, arguing, and not being attentive to his needs.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

You'll also want to initiate marriage communication so you can effectively talk to your husband. Here are some ways to approach your talk with your husband. You may have to implement these things over a period of time - a little here and a little there.)

• Recognize and admit your faults and the areas where you've neglected your husband.
• Repent (change your mind) about your attitude.
• Write down your concerns.
• Pray about them and ask God to show you how to approach your husband.
• Talk with your husband at a time that's convenient for him. (Not when he's leaving or just coming home from work!)
• Look your best. Remember that your husband is attracted to beauty. This will give him a better reason to pay attention to you when you're talking to him.
• Apologize to him for putting a higher priority on your children than on him. Also, apologize to him for any disrespect you have shown him.
• Reassure him that you support him with his efforts to provide for and take care of your family.
• Ask him to be patient with you as do your part to rebuild your marriage relationship.
• Ask him if he's been overwhelmed lately.
• Explain to him that you're feeling overwhelmed by the busyness of life, the kids, work, etc.
• Tell him you want to work on meeting his needs. Then ask him what you can do for this to happen.
• Tell him you would like to spend some quality time alone with him.

Once you've taken these steps, give your husband time to consider and process what you've shared with him. He may not talk or respond the way you want him to, but don't be offended if your husband doesn't talk as much. Sometimes it takes men days, even weeks to respond. Just be grateful he took the time to listen because this is also an important part of marriage communication.

Juggling marriage and children can often become a challenge to balance. While our intentions to keep our husbands top priority are good, it's easy to lose focus and put them and your marriage on the back burner of your life. As women, we want to feel loved by our husbands, but when we don't we can easily switch our focus to our children, and totally neglect our husbands. While your children do require a lot of attention, your marriage will take precedence. It's important and you can do your part to reverse the negative effects of ignoring your husband through proper marriage communication. If you do your part to take action and help your husband to feel important, it can strengthen your marriage and ultimately have a positive effect on your children.

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Are you looking for Christian relationship help that shows you how core wounds trigger overreactions in relationships? Childhood leaves us each with core wounds. These core wounds or core issues resurface repeatedly in relationships. They typically form the basis of overreactions to things that the other person does.

I was raised in a dysfunctional home where I took on the role of "the voice." I tried to get everyone in the home to see the problems, vocalized my concerns about the younger children, got angry at my parents, protected my mother and siblings, and told people outside the home the truth of what was going on in my home. As an adult, I continued to do this in my husband's family and my marriage. I tried to point out his parents' problems and our marriage problems. My core unmet need made me overreact to his unwillingness to listen. I got defensive and angry when I felt that I wasn't being heard. My husband's unmet need was to be appreciated. So, when I voiced complaints, he felt unappreciated. This resulted in an overreaction by both of us and set up the basis of our repetitive unresolved arguments.

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If you don't recognize the root of your reactions in relationships, you will overreact to what other people do.

Here is a list of core needs:

- To be valued

- To be heard

- To be appreciated

- To be needed

- To be loved

- To be understood

- To be acknowledged

- To be wanted

- To be approved

If your core need is to be loved, you will feel slighted when someone doesn't pay attention to you. If it is to be needed, you will be uncomfortable with someone's independence and self-sufficiency. If it is to be appreciated, you will be upset when people don't notice your efforts. If it is to be wanted, you will overreact to any type of abandonment or distance.

When a core need isn't met, the person will tend to be overly sensitive. This forms reactivity in a relationship where the person's reaction is more intense than it would ordinarily be. Anything that happens today that reminds someone of this past pain and unmet need will trigger a response that tries to prevent further hurt by demanding the need be met. Proverbs 18:19 says, "An offended brother is more unyielding than a fortified city" (NIV). Unmet core wounds are strongholds in your life that you need to demolish by understanding how core wounds trigger overreactions in your relationships (1 Corinthians 10:4-5). This Christian relationship help will enable you identify these core wounds so you can take responsibility for calming yourself down before you react.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.