Indecisiveness

Indesiveness is born out of fear and insecurity. As long as I am in the grip of my fear and fear-based conversations, I will not be able to really honor myself. And without honoring myself, I will not have the courage to make decisions out of my true being. I am spiraling downwards into self-doubts and insecurity. I do not trust my intuition. I conform to the opinions of others and to what is generally accepted to be true and right. Fear, self-doubts and insecurity - all of that is not a problem.

Every decision is accompanied by fear, especially when it implies leaving well-known territory and following my inner pushing for something new and unknown. Going beyond my comfort zone is terrifying. However, the kind of security that apparently exists within the well-known is an illusion. Growth and development are the principles of the universe that we find reflected in any living thing in nature. A plant is either growing or dying. So are we. More is always available and wants to come to us, but this requires us being open and receptive. It requires us to let go of what no longer serves us, but to which we are desperately holding on to. As it implies the letting go of the old, growth is a kind of death, a death, however, that brings about new life.

When we feel undecisive and insecure, we are internally split. A part of us is unsatisfied with circumstances as they are right now. Maybe we are in an unfilling job and we have some fitting alternatives in mind. Or we long for an intimate relationship and something pointing in that direction arises. Or we have a strong desire for traveling, dreams, wishes of any kind, that put us on fire.

Another part of us refrains from everything that is new and unknown. Were we to give it a voice it would say something like this: "I don´t care how much you are suffering in your current situation or how little satisfaction it gives you. At least it is somehting you know and that you are able to deal with. Never, by any means, try something that may turn out even worse. Stay with the familiar. Life does not have anything more to offer to you, accept it."

It is not my intention to stigmatise parts of ourselves as bad or worthless. But all too often we are dominated by fears we are not even aware of and that within seconds of our undivided attention dissolve into nothing.
What is this fear of wrong decisions that holds ourselves hostage to a point that we become paralyzed and unable to act? We feel so pressurized by the idea that this decision may well determine the whole rest of our lifetime. Will I still be able to enjoy life afterwards? Will I be even able to survive?

Fear exaggerates and extrapolizes. We enhance this tendency by holding on to the fear in our beings and believing it to be real. Our imagination buzzes, but in a way that is more like running amok. Instead of inspiring great visions in us about our dreams and desires, it only creates dark scenarios. In such moments when fear has its grip on you entirely, take a deep breath and don´t try to do anything about it. Feel your fear, do not resist it. Experience it as the energy it is, as something very alive and powerful. Do not give it any meaning whatsoever. The stories concocted by fear are nothing but stories. Only by giving meaning and reality to your fear and to its stories, you are controlled by it. In the absence of meaning and stories, fear is nothing but vibrating vitality.

Next, have a look at the facts: You are on planet earth for a limited time. At the end of your life, what are the questions that really matter? Have I kept safe and controlled as I was supposed to throughout my whole life? Did I live up to the expectations of others as I was told? Or rather: Did I live my life and my potential to the fullest, enjoying every little bit of it? Did I stretch myself again and again, making the most of every little bit of it I was offered? In a nutshell, did I truly live my life?

Think about it the next time you are held back by your fear. Have a look at what acting out of fear really costs you. You won´t see it as long as fear has a hold on you. Take a deep breath, relax, find the peace that resides deep within you, always. Observe your fear dissolving and clarity making its way through. Then act out of that space.