You cannot live in this world without encountering conflict…so you would think that they would teach conflict resolution in schools. Of course, they don't. Not that there's no conflict there, but they certainly don't teach effective conflict resolution.

Let me give you one little idea which will serve you well in many, many ways, many, many different times. In conflict, or potential conflict, or touchy situations, always intervene at the lowest level you can..

In other words, I'm not saying you can't get mad. I'm not saying you can't throw your weight around, and I'm not saying you can't and shouldn't imply that you're going to get an attorney on the case. But I'm saying you're a fool if your first mention of anything is that you're going to sue.

Let's say that you received an outrageous bill from the hospital. And of course, you know they've got this central intelligence bureau organized against you so that if you don't pay, it's going to go down on your credit record.

They call it a social security number, but let's call it what it really is-a federally issued tracking number. They've got all this information organized using your social security number, and it's on file against you.

Millions of businesses and government busy-bodys access these data bases routinely. There is no privacy anymore, and the individual is subject to the state… The “system” has you in their grips.

So you're mad-you're mad! You feel unjust! You're screaming, you're hollering.

First thing, calm down. Take a few deep breaths… Think of the last newborn infant you saw and touched… And, in your imagination, do it again, now… breath again.

Could it be that it is just a billing error? You wouldn't know until you did some preliminary work. It could just be that they're very willing to straighten it out because it was a billing error on their part, and they could apologize to you, too.

Going off the deep end is always counter-productive. Plus it’s the nearest thing I know of to a sure-fire “you’re going to end up with egg on your face”. And facial egg does not have any pleasing flavor associated with it, does it?

It's not necessarily that you jump up, scream, swear, and call your attorney first-catch my drift? And it could be, since we all know that people resist whenever something is pushed on them, that you can make things harder just because you are name-calling, you are belligerent, you are loud.

Whereas, if you enter with a good will, but inquisitive, puzzled approach you could get everything resolved.

It's simpler, more effortless, and less stressful – totally dignified and elegant - to intervene at the lowest level of risk. That level of risk is always to say, "There's something here I don't understand. Can you help me with this?"

Later on, maybe, you will need to go see an attorney in the final analysis. But you certainly won't start there. You’ve got good sense. And certainly, you've heard it said that you can attract more flies with honey than you can with vinegar.

You should never act outside the bounds of dignity. There’s no reason for you to – it’s almost universally counter-productive.

Be bigger. Be tolerant. Work for understanding and embracement first. You’ll be better off for it.

Be a human being, be proactive, be productive, do what you have to do.

Author's Bio: 

Ted Ciuba, "living legend" and bestselling author of The NEW Think and Grow Rich, is one of the world's top human potential trainers. He helps people find, define, and actualize their passions to transmute their intangible desires into real money. To find out more about Ciuba, how he can help you, and to collect $297 worth of free gifts, visit