Is He Having Second Thoughts About Divorce: Second Guessing Divorce

My husband wants to divorce me - that's never easy to come to terms with. It feels you like you can't face tomorrow. The feelings and the serious problems means that your life is heading in a different direction completely. But guess what - there is hope for you to save your marriage, and please keep reading to learn how.

My husband made sure that I understood that he wanted a divorce. "My husband wants to divorce me", when that suck in, the only thought that kept coming to my mind was how I was going to save my marriage. And when you read the books or talk to people, they are all say the same thing, talk to him and try to convince him otherwise. And guess what - that didn't work at all and just made things worse.

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I kept asking and looking for ways to stop my divorce. And the answer was very simple indeed.

Fast forward to now, I have the man of my dreams and a way better marriage than before.

You must be asking how did, I get him back? The answer is simple.

I now knew the "real"methods of saving my marriage and the statement - my husband wants to divorce - me was longer a question, but a distant memory!

All the begging and talking to my husband I was doing just put me in a position of being a needy person. And honestly no one wants a needy person at all. So I had to start and pull myself together and that meant no more the begging and being a needy person.

Do you know what that did to my husband, I became very attractive and at that time he couldn't have me. The more I pulled away from him the more he wanted me. It's that simple, people always want what they can't have. So stop being a needy wife and you will have your husband back.

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How to stop a divorce - when you are constantly arguing, and your marriage seems to be at it's end, PLEASE don't think it has to end in divorce, because most of the time, it doesn't!

Let's make something very clear right now. If you are in a marriage where either you or your children are abused, either emotionally, physically, or sexually, PLEASE GET OUT NOW! If your spouse threatens your or your children's lives if you leave, please don't listen to them - they are killing you already. That is NOT a marriage you should be in, and there are places that you can go for help.

With that said, I am assuming that you are in a marriage that is having difficulties - you and your spouse are constantly at war with each other. Every day it gets worse. Once upon a time, you were in love with each other. If not, you wouldn't have gotten married in the first place! The first five years of marriage are the hardest. Marriage is a big change for the both of you. You have to learn to live with each other, through good times and bad.

These tips will help you get your marriage back on track, and will help you to make your marriage stronger in the process.

#1: Communication - I know you've heard it before, but you need to hear it again. When you want to know how to stop a divorce, you HAVE to learn how to communicate effectively with your partner. This is very hard to start. I know it is. I've looked at my own husband many times and wondered how I was going to talk to him - I had no idea where to even start!

Once you learn how to communicate, it really does get easier to do. You will find that your marriage develops a bond like never before, also.

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#2: Today's marriages are NOT like they were 50 years ago! In the good old days, the husband went to work, and the wife stayed home and took care of the house and raised the kids. Those times were simpler, and we just don't have the luxury of that anymore. 8 out of 10 households need both spouses working. This fact, in itself, leads to marital problems.

Married couples need to build a mutual respect for each other, which is often not the case. This involves both partners having a say in the finances, household purchases, utilities, etc. You should both be able to say what you feel, and say it freely. When you want to learn how to stop a divorce, you MUST learn how to treat each other fairly!

#3: Play on the same team. As a married couple, you should have common goals. You should work together to reach those goals. Of course, you are two separate people, so you will also have other things in life that you want that are different from your spouse. But the major goals (whether to have children, whether to buy a new car, whether to invest, etc.) are the goals that you should work together as a team for.

#4: Know that your marriage IS going to change. Marriages ALL go through changes. You grow older, your wants and needs change. This is a very natural part of any marriage. Couples tend to get divorced when this happens, simply because they don't know what to do when the changes occur. Divorce is an easy-out in these cases. A strong marriage can survive ANYTHING! This leads back to the #1 tip - communication. When you both communicate your thoughts and feelings through these changes, you can work through them. Together.

As previously stated, every marriage has its problems. The marriages with good communication and responsiveness to each other's feelings are the key to your success in how to stop a divorce. It will take some work, and probably a good bit of time. But it's your marriage! You vowed before God to stay with your spouse through good times and bad, through sickness and in health.

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When you first got married, life was absolutely wonderful - everything you had ever hoped it would be. You and your partner loved each other so much and were determined to stick to the vows you made to be together for the rest of your lives. The first few years were fantastic but ever since then things seemed to gradually slide downwards. Now you find that you spend most of your time alone and worst of all, you are now living in a marriage without intimacy.

Something must have happened to make you and your partner drift apart, and this pattern is going to continue if you don't take action immediately and try to fix this huge problem that you have. There are a couple of things that could be causing you and your partner to drift apart like this and have you living in a marriage without intimacy.

Could it perhaps be that over the years you or your partner have been working so hard to improve your careers that your jobs are taking up most of your time? If so, then you have to realize that while it is important to put a lot of effort into your work, it is also crucial that you also spend time with each other instead of having a marriage without intimacy.

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Then again, it could also be that you have both over the years built up a large circle of friends and spend more time with your friends rather than each other. It could be these same friends that you enjoy spending so much time with that are causing you to live in a marriage without intimacy, so spend less time with them and more with your partner - this could make or break your marriage!

Marriage without intimacy just cannot work. Intimacy is the one and only way that you and your partner have of showing how much you love each other, and if this has all but disappeared from you marriage, then it is vital that you make time to be together to discuss your problem as soon as possible. You worked together before to build the wonderful marriage you had - do this again and get that blissful life back again.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

Click here to save your marriage and rebuild it into a more connected, satisfying relationship.

I have met with hundreds of couples during my time as Christian Counselor and have, after much contemplation, review and prayer, narrowed the list of the major reasons for problems and divorce to three.

Here they are, in order of priority:

1. Selfishness

2. Selfishness

3. Selfishness

It's a well-known axiom in real estate circles that the three most important considerations when purchasing a home are location, location, location. The point of course is that while there are other factors, the area the property is located in is so important that everything else you could say about it hardly matters. I have seen this analogy play out in my counseling practice. Selfishness is what leads to so many problems in the first place and also hinders what God wants to do to bring restoration because unforgiveness is rooted in selfishness.

Paul in his letters has much to say in terms of practical advice and admonitions for husbands and wives. Scripture must be interpreted in light of, and in context with, other scriptures and when you do that it is clear to me that a major key to successful marriages comes down to honoring and serving one another. This requires an act of the will (not based upon our feelings) that focuses on choosing to meet our spouse's needs even when it is hard.

If you have one (primarily) selfish partner in the union then it can limp along. Two selfish people almost invariably results in carnage. A couple who professes Christ should be following biblical principles and if they do, then the marriage can survive, thrive and prosper! The principles work for everyone; I have seen many couples who do not profess Christ but their marriages are much healthier than many who do!

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What if one is selfish? I have seen it happen repeatedly that when the giver perseveres in love and genuine Christ-like service (not being abused or a doormat!) then the power of God moves to heal and restore (1 Cor. 7:14). Those who remain in abusive relationships are not being unselfish; typically their passivity ends up enabling the continued bad behavior from their partner. Being a servant does not mean being a doormat and that person needs help often with setting and maintaining proper personal boundaries.

How does one begin to change things around in a marriage?

Start by recognizing the role and fruit of your selfishness in the marriage. Purpose, by the grace and wisdom of God, to begin to move to serve (and submit to) your spouse. Yes, husbands too are called to submit themselves to their wives (Eph. 5:21) even as wives are to submit to their husbands. Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church (Eph. 5:25). He laid his life down for the church; that is the ultimate act of submission and service, is it not?

We have seen many people benefit greatly from deliverance ministry, temperament analysis and marriage counseling. We have seen others who reap very little. I believe the key begins with the attitude of the heart in this area of setting aside self.

If you are selfish, can you purpose and commit unilaterally to becoming more of a giver and less of a taker in your marriage? If you are primarily a giver now, you need to ask for the grace, wisdom, peace and power of God to move in your situation. He is faithful and all things are possible for those who believe!

Now Listen Carefully-

Take 2 minutes to visit the next page and you'll discover a stunning trick which will make your spouse love you for the rest of their lives even if they are this close to walking out the door. Yes, you can indeed save your marriage no matter how hopeless the situation seems. Take the right step now and live to enjoy a blissful marriage. I strongly urge you to visit the next page- Click Here

Author's Bio: 

50% of people divorce. Do not be another statistic. You Can Save Your Marriage These powerful techniques will allow you to trust again and ignite the fire and passion back into your relationship. Save Your marriage today! Click Here

Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage.

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