Is My Ex Hurting Too: Signs He Is Hurting After The Break Up

Breaking up with your ex can be a very trying time in your life. The heartache can run very deep, even making it difficult to focus on other important things in life such as work or hobbies. Whether your ex left you or you left your ex, it is highly possible that they still love you.

Relationships are complex - one of the most complex things known to man. Human feelings are complex, as well. For example, it is entirely possible to still love someone and at the same time break up with them. This is one of the mysteries of human nature, but it is true.

The fact is, you may be still thinking about your ex and they you. The love may still be there for both of you: now wouldn't it be a shame that two people who still love each other are staying apart for no good reason. But, how can you know for sure?

Here are 5 signs your ex still loves you:

1. They call you at least once or twice per week

Does your ex still call you at least once or twice per week? If so, hopefully it is obvious to you that this is the behavior of someone who is still in love. After all, when people break up and there are no lingering feelings of love and affection, the last thing they want to do is to call their ex - they want to be out exploring other relationships. Even if your ex just says they want to be friends with you but call you frequently, take that as a big sign that they still harbor romantic feelings for you.

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2. They ask about you when they see your friends

When your ex bumps into friends, acquaintances and co-workers, does he or she often ask about how you are doing or what you have been up to? Take this as a strong sign that their feelings are still there for you. After all, even if your ex does not out-and-out tell your friends they still love you (and, why would they?), you should take it as a very strong indication of their true feelings that they are still asking about you.

3. They frequently contact your parents to chat

If you dated your ex for a period of months or years, it is quite possible that you became very friendly with their parents, siblings, or other family members - and they yours. These additional relationships may have evolved to ones whereby your ex occasionally even went shopping, went to the movies, or did other activities with your family members. However, in most cases, upon a serious breakup in situations like this the ex stops seeing the extended family: if nothing else because it starts feeling awkward to hang out with them! So, if your ex still calls or drops by to visit your parents or other family members, take this as a sign that they are still feeling love for you.

4. They still keep a picture of you nearby

Has anybody who knows your ex, such as friends or colleagues, noticed that your ex still keeps a picture of you at their desk at work? Or, do they have photos of you on their keychain, their mobile phone, laptop, or other places where it is displayed prominently? Make no mistake: this is not a "friendship" picture. This is a picture indicating that the love is still there.

5. They mention you in their text messages, MySpace page, blogs, etc.

Does your ex Twitter about you constantly? Do they ask or write about you in their MySpace page, blogs, or other quasi-public spaces and places? You may think this behavior natural given that the two of you were so close until so recently, but I assure you this is not natural behavior for a mere platonic, non-romantic relationship. It is a sign that they are still thinking about you every day. They are probably still in love with you.

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When your relationship breaks up you still stay hopeful of getting back together. But you need to be realistic and know if your ex will ever get back with you or not. Here are a few powerful ways to know if your ex is going to patch up or if you are wasting your time.

Your ex is in touch with you

You know that your ex is willing to get back with you when he/she is somehow in touch with you. If your ex ignores you completely and runs in the opposite direction when he/she sees you coming then you are wasting your time.

Your ex hasn't started dating yet

If your ex is raring to move on and is looking at dating someone then he/she is moving on and is not interested in getting back with you. But if you see your ex taking his/her time to get back into circulation then you still stand a chance.

Your ex doesn't talk ill of you

Normally if your ex badmouths you and talks ill of you to the world then they are trying it justify their move of breaking up and don't want to get back with you. But if they talk well of you and wish you well at all times then they still hope of getting back together with you.

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Your ex didn't leave you for someone else

If you broke up because your ex found someone else to be with then there are zero chances of you getting back together. Your ex was already over you and the relationship hence he/she found someone else to be with.

Your ex still meets you as a "friend"

If you see that your ex is willing to meet you and interact with you as a friend then he/she still sees a chance of getting back together with you. Friendship is a great way to keep you close and keep some ties alive so that you both can get back together.

Your ex tries to make you jealous

As strange as it may sound if your ex is looking at ways of making you jealous such as flaunting a newly acquired hot look, date or a great lifestyle then he/she still hopes to get you back. By making you jealous he/she is trying to get your attention to them.

Your ex is open to talking about your past relationship

If your ex is willing to talk of the past relationship and discuss things that went wring then he/she is willing to get back with you.

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Sometimes you know you really love someone when you actually lose them! If that's what's happened to you, then all you have to do is make your lover realize that you were the best thing that happened to them, and you will have your lover back in your arms. There are some simple but very effective ways of doing this.

Bring back the memories

There is nothing better than getting your lover to remember all the wonderful things you used to do together. Silly jokes, certain words and little gestures will help to jog your lover's memory. All you have to do is make your lover think of the good part of the relationship and forget the bad.

Get over the "I want to die" feelings

It is only natural that you want to stay away from the world, curl up and die on account of the painful emotions that are running through you at the moment. But if you want your lover back there is no way you are going to get successful if you are feeling sorry for yourself. Get a hold of your emotions and make positive plans to get your lover back.

Don't blow your chances

You could easily do this by saying the wrong thing or acting the wrong way. Any word or action that proves you are desperate is the wrong thing to do. Get calm, cool and confident and you will win your lover back.

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Don't follow your instincts

This is one time you will have to ignore your gut instincts and don't show your lover what you are going through or what you are feeling. After all you don't want your lover to pity you! You want them to love you. You will have to work hard to achieve your goal but tell yourself that you can easily do it!

Reignite the passion and desire

All you have to do is attract your lover all over again. Your lover fell in love with you because of who you were and how you looked. Get yourself into shape and attractive again. Give your lover a pleasant surprise the next time you meet.

Be an "overcomer"

Show your lover that you have some mettle and courage. Get out there and enjoy yourself. Make new friends and be involved in activities that will challenge you mentally and physically! Once your lover sees you making positive moves towards improvement in your life, they will be impressed and attracted all over again.

Want it bad enough!

If you have made up your mind to get your lover back and are hell bent on being successful in your endeavor, there is nothing that can really stop you - except yourself. Don't give up half way. Believe in yourself and your abilities to charm your lover back.

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No matter how slim your chances may appear to win your ex back after the break up, you have to keep reminding yourself that you have no option but to succeed. Yes, your ex has broken up with you and when you add with that all the bad words he/she uttered about you, things look really gruesome. But your ex loves; it's as simple as that. No one can stop loving his/her partner overnight.

Winning your ex back will be much more doable if you don't react in a traditional manner and get rid of the rhetoric. After a break up most people lose their minds and desperately try to convince their ex to revert their decision to quit the relationship. Mark these words, such a move can actually confirm your ex's thoughts about you and then you can forget about winning your ex back!

If you are a close observer of human behavior, then you should know that people who show indifference to us catch our attention instantly. You can apply this simple observation in your relationship with you ex (which is non-existent at the moment) to get your ex rolling back towards you.

What if he has moved on? Here's how to get him back.

Stop calling your ex and halt all efforts to reach him/her because even a trivial text message saying, "I am sorry" can do irreparable damage. You've cared a little too much for your ex since the breakup, and perhaps extra attention was the one defining factor that caused the break up in the first place, so now is the time to let him/her know that you've got a life of your own and that you don't care anymore if your ex returns or not.

Everyday that will pass by with you bearing complete silence will strike your ex like a bolt of lightning. Your ex will be shocked at your coldness towards the break up and will start entertaining thoughts that perhaps you're done with him/her.

Your ex may even try to break the ice and try to communicate with you, and this will be a test of your resolve to win your ex back. If you overcome your emotions at this stage the rest will be a smooth sailing. If your ex calls, act as if you're busy in your life and never commit to meet with him/her. It's all about making your actions sending over the message that, "I simply don't care anymore!" and in a short period of time your ex will be yours again.

Timing is critical when getting your ex back. Ex partners often consider a rebound relationship or just casual sex to get over you. You need to act right now. What you need is a complete, step-by-step system to take your hand and show you exactly what to do next to get your ex back in 30 days or less. For the whole system and all you would ever need to know, check it out here right now: Get Back My Ex

Author's Bio: 

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