Letting Go Of Pain

There is nothing like pain to instantaneously collapse any sense of our own expansion and greatness. You can be going along in life, feeling confident, positive, and hopeful. You might even be enjoying the benefit of an expanded sense of self: you look around and begin to see yourself in the world around you. You marvel at the beauty of the flowers, at the sweetness of the chirping birds, and you even feel compassion for your grumpy neighbor who seems bent on making everyone else's life as miserable as his. You feel at peace, and all seems alright with the world.

And then WHAM! from out of nowhere you get hit, like a lightning bolt from out of nowhere. Someone did something or said something; you did something or said something; something happened and your peaceful sense of expansion collapses like a cardboard house when the wind blows.
All of the sudden you find yourself feeling broken, distraught, crying and screaming, not able to feel any connection with anyone, feeling like you are all alone in the world and believing that nothing is greater than this debilitating pain that has brought you to your knees.

Sound familiar?

Pain has the unique ability to take our beautifully expanded spiritual selves and put them right back under the control of our wounded egos.

Fortunately, the more you can let go of the pain, the more you can return, quickly and effortlessly, to that place of expansive love. Here are a few techniques to help you let go of any pain from the past or present that you might be holding onto. Remember, holding on is a habit, one that you may have been practicing for quite a while. Letting go can also become a habit - be willing to practice it regularly and it will become easier and easier until it becomes something you don’t even have to think about.

Pain often occurs from a violation of some sort. Someone has violated our boundaries, or perhaps we have violated someone else's boundaries. There has been some violation somewhere. The first step is to acknowledge and honor your experience. The human part of ourselves wants a wrong to be made right. We want someone to see, hear, and validate our pain. It is often difficult if not impossible to let go of pain until you are able to acknowledge and honor the suffering that you have experienced.

Step 1: Honor the Pain

Identify what has caused the pain. It might be one event, or a series of events. It could be recent, and it could reach far back into childhood. Write out what caused the pain. If someone has hurt you, write a letter describing what you experienced. You may give this letter to them, or you may not. The most important part is that you write it out and allow yourself to validate your own experience and your own story. Within yourself, you can play many roles. Take on the role of a parent, offering unconditional love and support to the wounded child within. Let the young pain within know that you are listening, that you care, that it matters, and that you will protect it.

Step 2: Let it Go

Once you have honored and acknowledged the pain, you can begin to let it go. If you can’t let go, if your awareness continues to be pulled back to the story of pain, hurt, and wrong-doing, take this as a sign that the young pain within needs more validation. Treat this pain as you would a child. Nurture it, care for it. Trust that when it has been adequately heard, it will be willing to let go of its own accord. Practice step-by-step letting go as you can, acknowledging and honoring as necessary.

To understand how to let go, fold your hands into prayer position at your chest. Now open your hands. Feel the expansion; feel the release. Whenever you feel like you are clinging, unable to let go, practice this physical exercise and let go just a little bit more. Overtime, the release will become complete.

Remind yourself that whatever your story, it is just a story. This is not to minimize the important of it. Indeed, detachment in the face of pain can feel cruel. Once you honor and acknowledge the story that caused the pain, however, realize that it is just a story. As such, you can let it go. The more you drop the story the more you will return to your expanded state of limitless peace, love, and well-being.

Step 3: Make it a Practice

Make this a practice and over time it will change your life. You may feel pain because of something personal, or you might be pained by the state of the world, the terrorism, the war, the environment. Letting go of pain doesn’t mean letting go of the importance of your feelings - it means allowing yourself to become who you truly are and live the life of your dreams.

So simply practice: honor the pain, let it go. Honor the pain, let it go. Honor the pain, let it go. Honor the pain, let it go. Honor the pain, let it go.

You will begin to discover your true self, that which has no beginning and no end, can never get injured or hurt, and is always available to you in every moment. Underneath your pain is the eternal, expansive nature of your true self, at once limitless, loving, and eternally whole. The more you abide in this self, the more peace, joy, and limitless well-being you will experience.

Please share your experience - it is through sharing our stories that we grow and aid one another. Please share your comments, or your experience... I'd love to hear from you!