Listening to and trusting your own inner voice is a problem if it is Ego doing all the talking and Spirit can’t get a word in; or when you can’t trust whose advise to take because there is conflicting information. There is also the effect of others; family, friends, community, school, work, church, and government, telling us what to do and how to think. Who is right whom should we listen to? There is a grain of truth in each and every perspective, making it even more difficult to determine our actions. We need to listen to the voice that is looking out for our own best interest, and we must be truthful about what is our own best interest.

During the summer a great healer and teacher, Harry Jim from Hawaii was going to be holding a 4-day LomiLomi workshop in the little red brick schoolhouse just outside of my community. I have several healer friends who have taken many workshops with him and confirmed that it would be a life changing experience; (my friends told me I that I needed to attend). I had just taken on a job 4 months earlier, planning a local well-known large-scale event, which would be taking place just 3 days after the LomiLomi workshop. This was the busiest and most crucial time, those few days before the event, Ego told me that I could not take the workshop. Work was more important right now; Ego said I was required to be present to ensure a successful event. Ego didn’t want to give up control; Spirit had an idea to send me a different direction. Planning this big event was a part time job and the costs of driving my large truck was burning up most of my income from the job. My husband, a builder wasn’t getting much work, so money was very tight. Therefore, Ego said I must not take the workshop; we cannot afford it no matter how life changing it might be. “Community” colleagues at work said that I could not take the workshop because I needed to be on hand to make sure that all was running smoothly, I was required to have everything in place so close to the event date. Soul didn’t have a chance to say a word about taking the workshop other then to yearn to be there. With all this advice and demands on my time, finances and conscience, Ego decided that I didn’t have the right to have a life changing experience. My soul still hungered for what could be the catalyst for great healing and enlightenment.

Each day as I passed by the little red brick schoolhouse, I would look in and yearn visualizing everyone inside participating in the LomiLomio workshop. I would wonder how many were going to be there, how many of them would I know, how many would be from my mentoring group of healers? What would they learn, would they be able to release negative energy and move forward? I wished with all my heart that I could be there with them, sharing in their enlightenment. One morning as I passed by the schoolhouse, I looked in yet again saying to self, “no you can’t go,” when a hawk dive-bombed in front of my truck. I was exactly in front of the schoolhouse when it happened; a beautiful grey hawk flew down close to me and then swooped up into the sky again. I knew then and there that I had to take the workshop, my soul wanted it and Spirit wanted it, I had received that message from Spirit. The hawk carries the message for us to keep our eyes (both physical & spiritual) keen on the areas that most require our attention. Specifically, the hawk beckons us to hone our focus on the areas that are out of balance in our lives. Recognition is the first step to solution. My spiritually was out of balance and it was what needed the most attention, my healing was more important then work or finances. I allowed my inner voice to decide then and there that I was taking the workshop and I would do whatever needed to be done to ensure that it happened. I reserved my seat in the workshop; I began to speed up my workload to ensure that everything was in place and running smoothly well before my jobs event date. I trusted my inner voice that the finances would be available when required and allowed my soul to soar with anticipation.
I had been introduced to the teachings of LomiLomi from friends who had taken it in Hawaii and remembered a quote they frequently made. “Tell Ego to take the back seat and let soul take over the action”. I thought that I understood the quote; I thought I knew exactly how it should feel to put Ego in the back seat and let the soul take over. The clarity came on the third day while doing a Ha Breath session, paired up with another from our mentoring group. During the healing session, as I went into Ha Breath, I started to journey to many of my past lives I had visited previously. I began to journey from one lifetime to another, envisioning the scenery, what I was doing, and the events that were taking place. As I watched each vision, going back in time many thousands of years, I was sounding and chanting to raise my vibrations to the level required to journey to the Lower World. During the visions my chanting became an ancient language, as each vision changed so did the sound of the language. I laid on the treatment table screaming ancient languages into the air and realizing that my Ego was watching from the back seat while the soul was doing the journeying and speaking. I finally got it, now I knew where the Ego needed to go and how soul could take over control. Ego needed to travel into the back of the mind and sit quietly, while the soul traveled to my core directing the action. At the end of my session, I chanted a quiet lullaby and visualized a newborn baby lying upon my heart. I acknowledged that newborn baby as it sunk into my heart and I realized that I had re-birthed my inner child soul. Now have that inner child safe-place to retreat to.
Through self-discovery I knew that I was living in complete integrity because I was doing what was for my greater good, not the greater good of work, not the greater good of finances and not the greater good of friends. It was my healing journey and life changing experience and by listening to my inner voice, Higher Self or Spirit I was able to understand the difference between Ego and Spirit.

Author's Bio: 

Gayle Crosmaz-Brown a Shamaness Healer/Teacher of Higher Consciousness: has been working helping others to heal the emotional, spiritual and physical for over 30 years. Through energy work, hypnosis, drum meditation and counseling Gayle empowers her clients to self-heal.