Marriage Problems After First Baby: Feeling Neglected By Husband After Baby - Disconnected Husband After Baby

Do you find it hard to balance being a parent and a spouse? Do your kids seem to need so much of your time right now? Are you waiting until your kids get older to have alone time with your spouse? One thing growing families aren't always aware of is the impact that anxiety can have on connecting with your spouse. Managing anxiety can help you be more present, open, and playful with your spouse.

Let me illustrate how unacknowledged anxiety can wreak havoc on your marriage. Imagine a triangle made up of a father, mother, and their new baby. Ann, the mother, was anxious about being intimate with her husband, Joe, after the baby was born. She didn't like how much her body had changed. Ann was worried that she wasn't attractive anymore, so she started falling asleep in the baby's room. Can you see how Ann's anxiety is leading her to pull away from Joe?

Meanwhile, Joe starts to take Ann's absence in bed personally. Joe's unsure how to initiate intimacy, and is worried about being turned down. To cope, Joe begins working longer hours, because his work is where he feels most confident. When Joe is home, he is more critical and irritable with Ann. This backfires, as Ann no longer wants to spend any time alone with Joe in order to avoid conflict. Can you see how Joe's anxiety is increasing the distance between them?

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It may seem like this couple is caught in a vicious cycle with no way out. The good news is there is a way out. Recognizing they both have a part in creating this problem is the first step to finding a new way to relate to each other. For example, Ann can be more open with her spouse about her discomfort with her body. Joe can also take her time with the baby less personally. In doing so, this couple would realize that they are both trying to adapt to their growing family. Ann and Joe want the same thing, to enjoy each others' company while creating a bigger family. Yet, their anxiety and tension were so high that it got in the way of them truly knowing each other.

I think this quote by Louise Rausen, faculty member at Bowen Center for Study of the Family, illustrates the impact anxiety can have on finding a way out of marriage problems: "creative thinking and problem solving are often out of the question when anxiety is high." The couple above would not be open to creative time management strategies for balancing marriage and kids until at least one of them acknowledged and reduced anxiety.

Once Ann & Joe were on the right track, they may have found some of the following ideas helpful in carving out one-on-one time with each other:

1. Once a day, set the kids bedtime before the parent's bedtime.
2. Once a week, feed your kids first, so you can share a meal with just your spouse.
3. Once a month, get a babysitter so you can have a date with your spouse. If money is tight, find another couple with kids who is willing to swap babysitting services for free.
4. Once in awhile, take an overnight vacation with your spouse.

What works for you to better balance marriage and kids? When are you more open and personal with your spouse? Marriage can be really frustrating until you see you have a part in creating a more open, present, and playful marriage. Instead of waiting for your spouse to change, uncover your part of the problem. In doing so, you will discover you have choices that you never knew were possible.

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What are some of the most common problems that marriages face today? How do you solve common marriage problems? Are there any common marriage problems that seem insurmountable?

It is no secret that most marriages are going to face issues every now and then. No marriage is perfect and there are going to some peaks and valleys. While you may believe that you are the only one to face a certain problem, chances are that thousands have dealt with the exact same issue. Here is a look at some of the most common marriage problems.

An Affair

The most common marriage problem is infidelity. Most of the time this will lead to divorce because the trust and even the respect in the marriage has been forever damaged. It can be overcome, but it will take a lot of hard work and time in order for the marriage to go back to the way that it once was.

Lack of Communication

Communication is the key to any successful marriage. When the open lines of communication begin to break down, the marriage typically will as well. This is usually a problem as the couple becomes busier with family and with work. It is important to sit down and talk with each other about issues as they come up. Ignoring a problem is only going to lead to more problems down the road.

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Spending Time Apart

Another common marriage problem stems from spending too much time apart. When you were first married, you probably did everything together. However, both kids and a career can lead to your marriage coming in second. However, this is one problem that can be easily fixed. Try to hire a babysitter at least one night a week where you can spend time with just the two of you. This is a great way to reconnect and really find out what is going on in your spouse's life.

Disconnect

As you grow up, you may find that you and your spouse are beginning to grow apart. This can sometimes bring issues into a marriage as you seem to have less in common with each other than what you did in the past. A good way to reconnect with your spouse is to find a hobby that both of you enjoy. Be sure to take your time and find something that you really do like so you won't drop it at a later time. This is a great way to spend some time with each other and get the old spark back into your marriage.

No More Romance

When you and your husband first got together, chances are that you couldn't take your hands off of each other. Now, however, the marriage is a few years old and the old flame has begun to die out a little bit. Marriage requires work and in order to get that flame back, you will have to rededicate yourself to your relationship. Bring the thrill back into your marriage by taking a romantic vacation with just the two of you. In addition, be sure to go out on a date or put on some soft music and stay at home.

Are you tired of living in a relationship in which you feel neglected? Many married people find themselves feeling alone and rejected by their spouse. If you feel taken for granted, there's a way to change that now.

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Every marriage starts out with dreams of being happy forever, maybe having children, buying a home, and growing old together. Unfortunately, 47% of all first marriages end in divorce within a few short years leaving at least two bitter people with a great deal of emotional baggage. If you don't want to end up as one of those statistics, you will need to learn how to have a happy marriage.

A happy marriage doesn't just happen. People that have been happily married for the duration of their lifetimes have had to work at it. There are always disagreements, sometimes even terrible losses that have to be dealt with, but they work at, and succeed at marriage because they know how to have a happy marriage.

Of course, communication is one of the most basic needs when learning how to have a happy marriage, but it has to be good communication. One person dictating to the other is not good communication. Good communication also does not mean that there are never disagreements in a marriage. What it means, in a nutshell, is that there has to be common ground and a willingness to listen and consider what the other is trying to say.

You may not agree with it, and it's all right to say so, but consideration must be made to every suggestion, particularly those that impact your marriage. And it must be in a calm manner. Getting upset will only make it more difficult to get your point across and will frustrate your spouse.

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Love and Respect are two important aspects when learning how to have a happy marriage. Simple things, like good manners, mean a lot to some people. It is okay to relax some after marriage, but it is not all right to become sloppy or rude. Remember the golden rule to marriage, "Never go to bed angry," and you will have managed to defuse many situations that can create tension in a marriage that could build to something unbearable.

Don't forget, the words, "I love you," are as important as a kiss when you leave in the morning, or return in the evening. Simply showing each other how much you care by taking fifteen seconds to speak up and follow with a kiss is a verbal, and physical, way to show affection.

Learning how to have a happy marriage is not as difficult as it sounds. Mostly, it's taking a cue from how you treat each other, and finding ways to do it better. This doesn't mean that you have to do everything the same every day, nor does it mean spending hours just being together.

It means learning what is important to your spouse, and finding a way to show that you also care about the same things. Whatever they are, if you really want to learn how to have a happy marriage, you are going to have to look to yourself and your spouse and remember what it was that attracted you to each other and revisit it.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

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You got married to the love of your life and you were sure and you still are that he/she is the best partner you could ever settle down with. If two people living together do not collide, then there is no relationship. A good marriage partner should not fear to correct you when you err and should not treat you like a fragile piece of glass. This is what we call tension and drives partners further apart. A good marriage is one that can accommodate anything from each of the lovers. It should encourage lovers to pour out their frustrations after a long long day. Improve your marriage by making it eventful. It fixes marriage crisis the simple way.

You might be experiencing some marriage crisis and can go to any length to fix them. You might have noticed some differences between you and the person you married. No one is perfect, not you and certainly not your marriage partner. To fix any marriage crisis, it is good to learn acceptance. Accept them as they are and try to understand to live with them and i assure you a long married life. For instance you might have married your wife out of intense love and you missed to point her lazy nature. Relax and learn to look at other alternatives. May be she is not so good in cooking or many other chores but she has a heart of gold. Accept her nature and focus on her good side. You can always get a house help to fix your marriage crisis.

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It is good to learn to celebrate what you own and avoid comparisons. What you have is a lack in another person's marriage. A story is told of a person who was so tired of his marriage burdens and went complaining to God. God directed him to a store to go and deposit his marriage crisis and pick the smallest portion among them all. He was so excited and ran to lay down what seemed to be the most frustrating marriage burdens. He dropped the cargo, ran outside but rushed back to select the smallest and ran back home. He picked it but God's amazed voice spoke and announced "you have just picked what you brought in!". He could not comprehend the fact that his was comparatively minimal. He went home feeling challenged and was happy to have what he had for a marriage. Fix your marriage crisis by enjoying what you have.

You have noticed that your marriage is in crises due to piling of resentments. Solve your problems by talking about it. Accumulated anger and sadness results into frustrating marriages. To solve a marriage crisis, learn to use the three very important words. Say "i am sorry". They are the words that have the power to kill any anger, soften all the hard feelings and invoke forgiveness. In marriage, submission and dictation should play their different distinguished roles. When you feel you are wrong, you should be quick to submit your apologies to your spouse. If you are the wronged spouse you should forgive and forget. Do not revive it week after week. It will encourage the marriage crisis more.

Now Listen Carefully-

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Author's Bio: 

50% of people divorce. Do not be another statistic. You Can Save Your Marriage These powerful techniques will allow you to trust again and ignite the fire and passion back into your relationship. Save Your marriage today! Click Here

Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage.

Do you have a unique situation? Discuss your marriage problems on our forum. We can help you find a great loving relationship! Go to: RelationshipTalkForum.com