MERELY TALKING VERSUS COMMUNICATION

Question: “If you could live forever, would you and why?”

Answer: “I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we could live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever.” - 1994 Miss USA Pageant Contestant

Sounds a little like some sports interviews, doesn’t it? Though some athletes respond intelligently, "meaningful communication" is not always evident. Often it more closely mirrors Jason Kidd’s statement of some years ago. When drafted into the NBA he said he was going to turn his new team around 360 degrees. How’s that for new direction?

Yet, before we get too critical of athletes and celebrities, maybe we should consider our own words more carefully.

Is it possible that occasionally we also engage the mouth before putting the brain in gear? I plead guilty! Unfortunately, this may not only involve statements that are dumb, but sometimes statements that are also harmful. And, yet, though the right thing to do in such cases is to apologize, such does not change the fact we said it. This being the case, we’ll never regret being slow to speak.

Nor will we regret those occasions when we had nothing to say and just kept quiet. There are folks who bring to mind the story of the man who was suing for divorce. The judge asked why. “Because she talks too much,” was the reply. “What does she talk about?” the judge asked. “That’s just it,” the husband answered. “She never says.” (Some wives could say the same of their husbands.) Silence truly can be golden.

Especially is it a good idea to be silent when one doesn’t have a proper answer. Or, better yet, a person might just say, “I don’t know.” No one has all the answers and, as with some interviews, certain questions are too dumb to deserve an answer anyway. However, the answer to such questions can occasionally be quite fitting.

For instance, Charles Barkley was once asked concerning a critical game, “What do you think it will take to beat these guys?” “Just score more points than they do,” was his reply.

BARBER-OSOPHY: Merely talking is about as far from communicating as merely not talking is from actually listening.

Copyright 2004, Sumerlin Enterprises.

Terry L. Sumerlin, owner of J.B.'s Barber Shop in San Antonio, Texas, is known as "The Barber-osopher," and appears nationally as a humorist and motivational speaker.

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