Midlife Changes:Be True To Your Values as you Contemplate That Change

Committing to make any change in your life can often be a very trying experience. When you truly don’t believe in the change you are making or why you are going about the process, your chances for that change to take root in your life becomes significantly less. Each of us whether we are aware of it or not, live by a set of values. Our values are a part of who we are. They’ve either been instilled in us when we were young, have developed via our life experiences or are influenced by what we read or see happening in our world around us. A person who has not established their values or has not taken the time to come to terms with what they are is a person who can often be troubled as they go about the decisions they need to make in their life.

If someone asked you what are the values you lived by could you answer them? If you are not able to, do not be disappointed. Our lives often go at a hectic pace. It is more common that we’re reacting to what is happening around us as opposed to taking the time to fully contemplate what we are doing. However, you owe it to yourself and to your growth as a person to get to know yourself better. The following little exercise will help you to do so.

I am offering a free assessment on my blog, titled :Values Assessment – Blog Post Supplement. On the page that will open up to you, you will find an alphabetical order list of an extensive list of values. Take the time to review them. While the sheet guides you to provide a rating to each value in terms of its importance in your life, another approach is to pick out the top 5 or 10 values with which you resonate. Note those values and provide an importance rating between 1 to 10, with 10 being absolutely important to you and 1 being not important at all. If among the values listed you can think of another value that is important to you that is in your top values by which you live, but is not listed on the sheet, please go ahead and include it.

The left column is where you are indicating how important the value is to you in living your life. In the corresponding right hand column for that value be very honest with yourself, and on a scale of 1 to 10, rate yourself on how you live that value in your day to day life. If you find for those values that are most important to you that your action ratings are also high, congratulations, you are doing an excellent job of living to your values. However, if the action rating is significantly lower for those actions you value highly as being part of your values that could help explain issues of discomfort you may be having in attempting to live your life as you choose.

So, where does change enter into all of this? Changes usually involve a value choice. Whether that choice is asking you to move into a job position that is different than one you previously held, move to a new location from which you previously lived or is asking you to accept a change in the current environment in which you live, ultimately your acceptance or resistance to that change is going to involve some form of value judgment. Therefore, the better you know yourself, that in which you believe and your comfort and willingness to modify your values to align with your current that support your life situation, it will have a major impact on your ability to understand the impact of the changes that become part of your life.