Mind the gap between what is and what should be

How often do I see people coming to me with so much frustration towards their boss, their company, their career, their partner, their family, society... Each and every time, those people are in a comparison mode between what should be and what is in reality. As soon as you compare reality with your idea of what should be, you develop frustration. Does it mean that we should just be satisfied with the reality and never try to change it and make it better? Of course not: it is perfectly natural to have goals and to want things to change. The point here is about where you start and your general posture towards your goals. The most interesting is the frustration in relationships. I hear people telling me that they love their partner BUT... and this BUT is where things are becoming tricky. Who do you love? Do you love your partner or an idea of your partner when he/she will have changed enough to match your perfect idea of a partner? When we are becoming frustrated and annoyed with our partner, it is generally the sign that we are in the comparison between what they are doing and what we would like them to be and to do.
Mind the gap between what is and what should be. The only way to change, to evolve, to improve, is to embrace where you are and what the situation is. Carl Jung said: “what you resist persists”. In order to change your feeling towards things, people, situations, you need to change your perception. Let go of your urge to see a different reality and you will allow things to change in front of your very eyes. Let go of your desire to control, let go of your sense of perfection and life will start to shift. What should be maintains you in a constant state of comparison. You are building frustration because you feel useless at changing the situation and consciously or not, you making things worse. Allow things and people to be, independently from your desire and accept to be where you are. The more you focus on what is wrong, the more you reinforce it. Let go of your desire to change things and find the good in everything. In your relationship, identify all the things that you love and enjoy about your partner. Reality exists in the moment, in the here and now and the only way to change it is to embrace it and accept it.
As long as you persist in trying to change what is not under your control, you generate frustration and put yourself in a victim role. The only thing that you can change is yourself. When you change, you allow things to change around you. In relationships, your partner will not change because you want him/her to change but because you change yourself. People are acting and reacting in front of you in connection with who you are and if you change your comportment and behaviour, people will change accordingly.
What is the first thing that you could change in order to change your frustration level? Your belief that things should be a certain way. Let go and focus on what you want to change about yourself.