Motivating yourself: Why?

Saving the world is such an easy way to get motivated. You have to, or you're done for. Not to mention the grandness of it all, so much better than doing it 'because I want to'. That is just considered selfish. Right?

There are a lot of things I would like to do. What stops me from getting them? What will make me cross that bridge from 'wanting to' to 'needing to'?

~ Factors to consider: ~

-> Judgment

We judge our own responses harshly. That's not good enough. Why would anybody be motivated by something that stupid? If it's just because it makes me happy to see others happy, am I considered selfish?

I don't know is a defense mechanism. It automatically comes out effectively halting any further soul searching. Now, what if you did know? Then what would it be?

-> Doubt

Can I change? Do I deserve this? Worries swarm around you, making you feel dark and heavy. Maybe you should just stop right here. If it was that easy everyone would be doing it. Can I even be sure of that I'm feeling? What if I'm mistaken? What makes me so special?

-> Power

The why never seems to be powerful enough to compete with my fears and doubts. Somehow, it seems easier to do it for another person rather than doing it for yourself. Because I hate to disappoint people, worrying that they might leave me. But if it's just me, it's okay to disappoint. I can get over it. After all, it's not like I have anywhere else to go. Like the lyrics of a song I once knew "I can't run from myself, there's nowhere to hide".

Then you start getting into disturbing thoughts such as would it have made a difference whether I was there or not?
My dedication compared to people willing to give their all and even put their life on the line is severely lacking.
But what drives such commitment?

-> Truth

Because I want to experience 'that'. I want to have fun with others, to learn and grow together.
Wanting to share your experiences, is it such a bad thing? I like to be able to help people. Not because I want praise (can't say I mind it though I do get embarrassed) but because it makes me feel like I've accomplished something and it makes me happy to see them happy.

If you lived life stuck on a deserted island, with sharks and sea monsters swimming in the ocean. How could you ever get to the island you want to? How can you cross the sea? Because that island has what you desire most.... Something you would do anything for. What awaits you on the other side?

I desire to be useful to others. I desire to be needed. To be loved.

~ Why? ~

Why do people do things the way they do? What drives us to go beyond what we are comfortable with to pursue our goals?

There are two kinds of people, the ones who follow and the ones who lead.

The ones who follow have their own goals and find a person who they believe will lead them to the completion of that goal. For that purpose they dedicate themselves to that 'leader'. It relieves some of the burden because they are no longer responsible for their goal alone but instead can rely on this other person. Surely this 'leader' can do what they believe they cannot do themselves.

The ones who lead struggle by themselves until they find other people supporting their goal relieves their burden. It increases their sense of purpose. Now it is no longer just for themselves that they lead but to fulfill the expectations of those who believe in them. When it's for others you can't just give up. What will happen to them if you fall?

The why is a way of being tied to a strong emotion from the past. This emotion drives the thought patterns surrounding the why. A decision is made that forms your resolve, whether positive or negative. It just is. 'I will never be hurt like this again.' The behaviour that follows is one of distance and isolation. 'I don't want to be alone.' You try hard to be accepted, sometimes to the point of disregarding your own wishes in favour of others. But it can also be 'I want them to smile'.

When an action brings out a powerful emotion you react in one of two ways. If it's a negative emotion you will go out of your way to avoid it, if it's a positive emotion you will crave it going out of your way to have it happen more often.

~ Method of Madness ~

For a while now I have been trying to get myself to exercise. Intellectually, I know I need to. It would be better for my health and my state of mind. But even if I were to join a gym I would just slack off and not go. Why? Because it's not fun. Perhaps the reasoning is quite childish even if it is the truth. What motivates me is the happiness of others which makes me happy especially when it is shared. Also, doing the same thing over and over makes me feel like a robot which is why I love variety.

So exercising alone, doing a routine by myself, does not comply with my why at all. If anything, spending time playing sports with friends is something that would interest me. Even if one day you don't feel like it, you're part of a team. That means that you support each other. Situations are never that predictable when others are involved. And is that not what makes life interesting?

~ Battle Mode ~

The best way to find your why is to think of a past situation that made you really happy. A day you wish would never end. Let that be the reason why you live, to recreate that feeling not only for you but for everyone around you so that they too have a day they wish to share with everyone.

This may seem to conflict with not liking repetition but it is true. You do not need to repeat the exact situation every time, only the feeling you get from it. The situation - as well as the people involved - is always changing. It will never be perfect, but it's great when things don't follow your careful planning. That means it has the possibility of being greater than you could have ever imagined.

My memory is Christmas. No matter where I am or what time of the year, Christmas songs always bring me happiness because of my memories. To me, Christmas is the day you share happiness. Whether it is by getting someone something you knew they truly love or simply giving your time by playing games, chatting and enjoying food together.

Memories and feelings make the best presents after all. They cannot be bought, nor can they be lost. No matter how far away they seem, they're always inside of you somewhere. They are what tie us together as humans.

So for me, I want to share that feeling of Christmas every day. The feeling that someone cares, you are not alone and you are part of something bigger. Thank you for being you is the feeling I wish to convey. My goal is to help people understand themselves and like themselves for who they are instead of hating themselves for who they're not. You're you. That's what makes life so much fun.

Sometimes I feel it's too simple. It's nothing grand like freeing an oppressed country or saving the world, but this is my contribution to the world. Though nothing says I can't do it on a grand scale. That is who I am after all. Sorry to break it to you, but you are on my hit list.

~~~ What do you stand for? ~~~