My Husband Complains About Everything I Do: Husband Always Complaining About Something

"What? You not only want me to do the dishes, but you want me to be happy about doing the dishes?" Remember that line from the trailer of the movie the Breakup? I love that clip because it is such a great example of the difference between how men and women view love and relationships. This article will share the secrets of how men love.

First understand that men and women love differently.
*Our tender images of affection and sweetness are how women love. Hugs, kisses, and kind words are how men get sex. Listen to how men express their affection to fellow men, and you will see a glimpse into the way a man shows affection. The best example I can think of is watching Clint Eastwood's character in Gran Torino as he talks to his friend the barber. I would quote him but the man language could offend.

Second, male affection involves complaining because to a man, sacrifice equals the expression of love.
*To a guy love equals pain or sacrifice. If a man spends $100 on a women, and he has a million in the bank, it is not a gestured of love. It is a way to impress or look good, but it's not about love. By contrast if a man spends a dollar on his lady and that is his last dollar with no way to get more, then that is a true expression of love. Likewise, if a guy likes working in the yard and spends his afternoon cutting the grass, he is not doing it because he loves his wife. However if he hates to vacuum and yet he does it, then that to a guy is love.

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Third, understand how men show their love.
*Once you have gotten your brain around a man's association of love and suffering, then get ready for the next insight. For a man to show his love, he must show his pain. To be a cheerful lover would mean to the male brain that he is not showing love at all. To make sure you understand the sacrifice he needs to let you know how unpleasant this all is for him. His eye rolls and grumbles are his way of saying "I am doing this, not because I want to, but because I love you." If he was happy about doing whatever, then he would be doing it for his own pleasure.

Fourth, understand how to respond to your husband's complaints.
*The next time your man gripes or complains about taking out the trash; look him in the eyes and stay thank you. Hear his unhappiness as love, because that is exactly what he is trying to say.

Warning: This article was written to give hope to those who feel discouraged by their partner's complaints. The hope is to give a smile to those couples who already recognize the unhappy attitude of the man's behavior. If this article in anyway makes you disheartened in your quest to make your husband a cheerful giver, then forget everything you have just heard.

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Are you worried that your marriage is on the rocks and you want some sound advice to save your marriage but don't know where to turn? Have you talked to friends and family but they don't seem to help or just tell you to get out while you can? Do you really want your marriage to succeed but don't know where to start? If you are concerned about the stability of your marriage, you are not alone. Somewhere around 50% of marriages in the US end in divorce and every one of those people have been where you are right now.

Where to Begin

The first thing you will need to do is determine what is broken in your marriage. This is one of the toughest parts, because we often blame symptoms for being the problems. For example, maybe your spouse is disrespectful, won't pick up after themselves, doesn't listen, spends money freely without your consent or does any one of dozens of things the upset good relationships and threatens marriages. You need to focus not so much on what they are doing, but WHY are they doing it. With people, motives are what drive actions and you will need to dig deep to understand why your spouse is behaving the way they are.

Can They Change

Once you have been able to isolate the motives for your partner's behavior, you need to determine whether you and they are capable of change. A lifetime of slovenly behavior is difficult if not impossible to change. There are some things you may need to decide to accept as part of the package you married, and some which simply will not stand with you. You may be able to withstand a messy person's habits but disrespect for you may be something you will not tolerate.

You Better Start Talking

After you have figured out what it is that is pulling apart your relationship and have tried to understand what the motives are behind the behavior, you are going to have to get with your partner and see if they will do the same with whatever behavior you have that is upsetting to them. Ask them to identify the behavior and then try to understand the motives behind it. Set up a time to go over your lists. You may be surprised at what you both discover about each other that wasn't ever put on the table before.

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Learn to Compromise

If you are able to have a civil discussion about the things that are pulling you apart as a couple, talk through each issue and see where there is grounds for give and take. You are not going to be able to change each other but you both can modify your behavior so that it is not breaking you both apart as a couple. You may not be able to get your spouse to always pick up their work clothes from the floor every day, but you may get them to agree that on certain days of the week they will pick up their things and either put them in the appropriate drawer, closet or in the laundry basket. This is a mild example, but you get the idea.

Be Willing to Forgive

In almost all marriages that are on the brink of collapse, things have been done or said that were hurtful and can't be taken back. You both need to be willing to confess to your transgressions and agree to forgive the other if you are ever going to be able to move forward. If there are hurts that are not allowed to heal they continue to fester and will show up as problems in other areas of your relationship.

The most important advice to save your marriage that you can get is to start talking to each other in an open and honest way. Without good communication there is no hope for a failing marriage to succeed. You simply cannot solve any problems without it. The most valuable thing that a marriage counselor brings to the table is not so much as the advice they give but their ability to get the parties to open up and begin talking which is the first step to resolving marriage problems.

If you can't get your partner to open up with you and discuss your problems then the best advice anyone can give you is to employ the services of a marriage counselor who will force your spouse to at least listen to some good advice to save your marriage. Whether they will or not is entirely up to them.

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Is this the disheartening question you have been asking yourself lately and finding no feasible answer? All the bickering, stress, and hurtful words you've heard from one person you loved the most may delay your perspective on what to do right now. It might take a while for you to get a grasp of everything that's happening.

Don't rush. Saving a marriage is not a one-time-big-time thing, and you are not alone with it. Sharing it with people very significant to you may lighten the burden up plus they may be sources of encouragement. Who knows one of the people you know have gone through the same thing and survived it? Here are some people to ask how to save my marriage.

Your parents. Who knows you better than your own mother and father? After counting their married years which is definitely more than your age, your parents are marriage experts by experience. Loving advices and hugs for their child with a broken heart is always available at your old man and woman's coven. The insights they can offer are tested by years and proven to be effective enough that they are still there together to listen to you. Plus, your parents will be more than glad to answer your how to save my marriage uncertainty.

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Your friends. If you have been married, most of your friends are no longer single too. Although most of you may be at the same marriage level, your experiences differ from each other. Like individuals, each marriage sets itself apart from other marriages. But all marriages share the same issues, conflicts, and solutions. Don't be shocked if you realized that you are not the only one with the how to save my marriage question in mind. You and your friends will learn from each other how one handles her hitches. Also, time with your pals will let you get away from all the stress you are currently experiencing with your marriage. Some time away from your spouse also fosters your individuality as a person. It also strengthens your bond with those buddies who have always been behind your back, through singlehood and marriage.

Your spouse. In this case, how to save my marriage is not the right question. It will be how to save our marriage. You're other half is still the best person to talk to in times like these. You and your partner must admit that this crisis is really happening to you. You can ask each other what went wrong and find all the appropriate solution to each mistake you both discovered that led to this dilemma. After careful reflection, you and your partner must learn to forgive each other. It might be impossible to forget things, but not lingering to all the hurt and resentment is very promising. Although you might have had communication problems before, this is really the best time to improve how you communicate and express your feelings. It's always never too late.

Marriage experts. If in case you and your spouse find it really hard to compromise, a third party is another hopeful option. Third party means a moderator or mediator which is usually those who are professionally experts on handling the woes in marriage. They can provide very objective resolutions to all the crises you and your partner are going through.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

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It is a brave step to take a dating relationship to marriage level. I call it brave because failing marriages are all around us. They discourage potential couples to tie the knot in the fear that theirs is not a special case. I have seen it becoming news in the media when a couple is proud enough to name their marriage successful. A marriage that succeeds is featured in many magazines and admired by many. This is done in the hope that theirs can be a good example to all the deteriorating marriages. A marriage that is successful easily gains honor and admiration from the society. What is the big secret behind a marriage that succeeds?

It is advisable to observe the little things that might ruin your marriage. A marriage that succeeds offers a lifetime celebration of the couple's love. A marriage that succeeds has sex as its number one priority. Lack of sex in marriage is a great threat. A sexless marriage is an indication that all is not well. As much as couples would like to argue that it is not all about sex, i strongly disagree. You might be very good friends in other areas but the unsaid truth is, one of you or both of you are being selfish. When your partner starts sexual advances, for marriage's sake please do not turn him/her down. You might not be feeling like it but the best thing is when you are fully involved you will share the pleasure. That is not bad after all. If you are just housemates, it shows that your marriage is passionless and in the verge of breaking down. Let the problem be the other issue but not sex.

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Your marriage partner should be your companion through life. When you got married, you each came from different families to form your own independent setting. It is so annoying to see a partner spending too much time with his/her family. Do not let your parents or siblings rule your marriage. This will ruin your marriage to irreparable levels. A marriage that succeeds is keen not to involve third parties into their marriage institution. Too many cooks spoil the broth. Pressure from the two family sides will always be there but how do you handle it? Let them love you but do not let them dictate your marriage life.

Money is the mother of all evils. How i wish our ancestors maintained the batter trade deals. A marriage that succeeds is careful on financial matters. It is good manners to consult your partner on investments and purchases. It would be rude to just appear one evening with a car if it is not her surprise present. Discuss your budget together and let your marriage look like the union it is. There is nothing fulfilling like feeling wanted, valued and respected. It takes marriage to the next level and encourages combined effort. Support each other financially to uplift the family status. When only one partner provides while the other one either misuses or fails to appreciate, it becomes the root of a marriage problem. Both partners should learn to be interdependent to create a marriage that succeeds.

Now Listen Carefully-

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Author's Bio: 

50% of people divorce. Do not be another statistic. You Can Save Your Marriage These powerful techniques will allow you to trust again and ignite the fire and passion back into your relationship. Save Your marriage today! Click Here

Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage.

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