My Husband Says He Loves Me But He's Unhappy: What Does It Mean When Your Husband Claims To Love You But Unhappy

More couples are seeking divorce than ever before. There are many reasons for having an unhappy marriage and now with quick legal proceedings available the rates of separation are increasing. Getting married is a big change in most people's lives. We are use to having our own space and free time. To be able to succeed it is important to understand what we should avoid. A marriage should be a positive life long experience for both partners; it takes hard work and devotion.

To increase the chances of staying together and avoid an unhappy marriage you need understand following behaviours and habits -

Complaining: It is easy to complain. Usually if things go wrong we blame the people closest to us. This will not achieve anything, though it often feels like a natural response.

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Time: One of the biggest problems in any marriage is finding enough quality time to spend with each other. Most problems can be solved through communication. Today it is common that both partners will work and then there is also the family, housework, socialising, and shopping time.

Be Alone: If you live and work with your husband or wife then you can be around each other twenty four hours a day. It is important that you both have your own personal time away from each other.

TV: Communication is fundamental in any relationship. If you just spend your evenings sat in front of the TV then you will not be able to talk seriously about events that are affecting you. You should enjoy talking with each other.

Questioning: It is a habit for some couples to constantly check up on each other by asking questions about where they have been and who with. This can cause a level of distrust and an unhappy marriage. It is essential to give each other freedom.

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When you ask should I save my marriage, you need to talk to yourself and find out an answer on your own. I can offer you a bit of starting tips on what to ask yourself, but you, on your own, have to generate an appropriate and complete answer to this question.

Utilize some of your time in understanding the difficulties in your marriage. Usually, a small conflict is an indication of some real problem. Therefore, you need to resolve the problems by taking some time to reflect.

You need to ask yourself:

-Do I usually enjoy the time I spend with my spouse?
-Are some of these problems pushing me farther away in your marriage?
-Have I tried to resolve the conflicts my marriage?

There is a strong probability that these issues be resolved if you genuinely discuss them with your mate.

You need to acknowledge that some of the troubles are your own. You should not expect perfection from your partner as none of us live in an ideal world. If the time you spend together is usually enjoyable, you have a better chance at repairing your marriage. You need to be patient, change can take time. If the changes you hoped for don't change right away don't become frustrated and give up.

When deciding whether you should save your marriage, you need to think whether your spouse is the right person for you. You don't want to go back to a marriage that is not working just because that is easier than dealing with separation and divorce.

Are you tired of living in a relationship in which you feel neglected? Many married people find themselves feeling alone and rejected by their spouse. If you feel taken for granted, there's a way to change that now.

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What men want in a woman is someone who knows how to be a fly on the wall. I'm sorry if I'm getting more and more cryptic, but this is my way of keeping my articles fun. Let's work through this title and see if we can figure just what the heck I'm talking about this time. What's the saying? It's something along the lines of, "sometimes, I wish I could just be a fly on a wall." People say this because they want to hear what other people are saying about them behind their back. I'm actually talking about another reason you might want to be a buzzing bug and it's not quite what you might expect.

1. Here's Looking At You

If I was a fly on the wall, what I would actually prefer to look at first is myself. In my daily life, I don't know how people view me. The way I stand, the way I talk, the way I interact... I would like to see myself without feeling like I was acting.

Knowing how I behave will help me be a better person and that's worth more than knowing what people think about me. I can never control what people think about me. But I can control how I behave and react. If I'm more aware of the signals I'm giving out, I can actually control both what people think about me and how I send off those signals to influence that. As a woman, this is important for you.

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2. What I Think About Myself

Often, the way I stand, talk and interact with other people is influenced by how I think about myself. If I'm more self-conscious and subservient, my back might be a bit more arched down, so I'm lowering myself towards other people. If I'm proud, I'll stand up taller.

I want to give off an impression where I'm confident, but not vulnerable. This should be what's going through your head if you ever do get the chance to observe yourself in your day-to-day interactions.

3. Getting Through The Tough Times

Sometimes, life can be so overwhelming. Doubt about the relationship, the oppression of your workplace, the disasters that happen throughout the world everyday... that infects your internal world.

If you're a fly on the wall, how would you see this manifest on your outward appearance? It would maybe appear as deep thought or perhaps a tired expression. Regardless, seeing that it's basically never as bad as it is in your head shows that you can control your inner world. If you can do this, you'll never be depressed as much ever again and you'll be doing yourself, your man and your relationship a huge favor. It's all in your head.

What men want in a woman is someone who is wants to be a fly on the wall for the purposes of seeing how she reacts to certain people and herself. You can't control what other people think about you, but you can control what you think about yourself and how to respond to what they say.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

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How many of us, wives, really understand our role to esteem our husbands? How many of us will be able to call our husbands "Lord" the way Sarah called Abraham? How many of us find it a privilege and honor to serve our husbands? How many of us think of serving our husbands the way Queen Esther looked at serving her husband and King?

Some may say that it was easy for Sarah to call her husband Lord because he was a godly man. Others may say that it was easy for Queen Esther to esteem her husband because he was the King. Let me correct these opinions and point you to the truth.

Abraham may have been a godly man but look what he put his wife into, not just once but twice.

First time...

Now there was a famine in the land, and Abram went down into Egypt to live temporarily, for the famine in the land was oppressive (intense and grievous). And when he was about to enter into Egypt, he said to Sarai his wife, I know that you are beautiful to behold. So when the Egyptians see you, they will say, This is his wife; and they will kill me, but they will let you live. Say, I beg of you, that you are my sister, so that it may go well with me for your sake and my life will be spared because of you. And when Abram came into Egypt, the Egyptians saw that the woman was very beautiful. The princes of Pharaoh also saw her and commended her to Pharaoh, and she was taken into Pharaoh's house [harem] (Genesis 12:10-15).

Second time...

Now Abraham journeyed from there toward the South country (the Negeb) and dwelt between Kadesh and Shur; and he lived temporarily in Gerar. And Abraham said of Sarah his wife, She is my sister. And Abimelech king of Gerar sent and took Sarah [into his harem] (Genesis 20:1-2).

In both instances, God protected Sarah and He prevented both Kings from touching her.

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Now tell me... is this the kind of husband deserving to be called Lord? How can a wife call her husband Lord if she can't even trust that he will protect her?

Let's go to Queen Esther now. The King, Esther's husband, was not a member of God's chosen people. In short, he was pagan. How can a Jew, chosen by God, esteem a husband who is pagan?

Looking at Sarah and Esther, it is pretty evident that they honored and reverenced their husbands as obedience to God, and not because their husbands deserved it.

This being said, God's command to us, wives, to respect and honor our husbands does not have anything to do with whether they deserve it or not, or whether they are doing their part or not. This is a big problem I've seen over and over again with women, more so those I am counseling. They always have the "buts"... "But my husband is not loving me"... "But my husband is so irresponsible"... But my husband is this and that. It is a never-ending list of excuses as to why they can't obey God in the area of submission and esteeming their husbands.

Ephesians 5:33, The Amplified Bible, gives a very accurate definition of esteeming our husbands.

"Let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]."

Do you see all those adjectives I underlined? And how about that last word, "exceedingly"? This amplified version surely makes it appear like we should treat our husbands as some idol or something like that. No wonder Sarah called Abraham Lord.

You may say, "I only have one Lord and He is my God". Well, your God says in His Word...

In like manner, you married women, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them]...

It was thus that Sarah obeyed Abraham [following his guidance and acknowledging his headship over her by] calling him lord (master, leader, authority). And you are now her true daughters if you do right and let nothing terrify you [not giving way to hysterical fears or letting anxieties unnerve you (1 Peter 3:1 & 6).

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God commanded us to submit to our own husbands, which was defined here as subordinating to, being secondary to, dependent on, and adapting to. This was the way Sarah submitted to Abraham, "calling him Lord". And we are true daughters of Sarah if we do what she did.

Do you realize that being Sarah's daughters means that we are a part of God's family? Abraham is the father of Israel, and since us, true believers have been grafted in, Abraham is also our father in faith, which makes Sarah our mother. So unless we wives do what Sarah did, calling our husbands Lord, and treating them as such, we are not considered her daughters. This is deep!

What a tall command from our God. And if you love God the way I do, wanting to obey Him totally, then you will follow what He is commanding us to do. Anything done out of total obedience and love for Him makes things easier, no matter how difficult they may be.

Don't get me wrong. I totally understand though how difficult it is for a wife to respect a husband who can't even provide for his family, a husband who is a porn-addict, a husband who is always drunk, a husband who is addicted to drugs, a husband who spends more time with his friends than with his family, and so on and so forth.

Let me give you some practical advice on this one. There is always something good in every person. Find that good thing about your husband, focus on it, and admire him for it. I read a story about a wife whose husband was not worthy of respect. However, he was a very good Dad and so she focused on this one and really esteemed her husband's good traits as a father. This also made her son look up to and admire his dad.

My husband is far from perfect but he is the best for me. I can't imagine being married to someone else. Though there are things he did in the past or maybe things he still falls into every now and then that can justify my losing respect for him, there are so many things that I'd rather focus on. For these I can say that "I have the best husband", and you can do the same thing.

I challenge you today my fellow help-meets. Find all the good things about your husband and start praising him for these. Do it wholeheartedly knowing that God is pleased. Keep telling yourself and others, "I have the best husband". Remember, death and life are in the power of the tongue. The more you say this, the better he will really be for you.

Now Listen Carefully-

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Author's Bio: 

50% of people divorce. Do not be another statistic. You Can Save Your Marriage These powerful techniques will allow you to trust again and ignite the fire and passion back into your relationship. Save Your marriage today! Click Here

Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage.

Do you have a unique situation? Discuss your marriage problems on our forum. We can help you find a great loving relationship! Go to: RelationshipTalkForum.com