My Wife Is Always Mean To Me: How to Deal with a Mean Wife

My Wife Is Always Mean To Me: How to Deal with a Mean Wife

We all cycle through good moods and bad ones. Those changes can be attributed to almost anything including stress at work, worrying over money and even a fall out with a friend. Individuals who have been married for any length of time know that sometimes our spouse happens to be the person who is forced to accept the bad moods. We tend to take our frustrations out on those closest to us and most friends will quickly take leave if they feel you're being grumpy or disrespectful. That's not the case with a partner. They are, in some ways, forced to listen to a barrage of negative comments and often they feel unsure of how to respond. This is what happens in many marriages when the wife is consistently in a bad mood. That can easily manifest itself into a mean attitude. Any husband on the receiving end of that is going to tire of it, and his wife, fairly quickly. If this sounds like the script to your life at the moment, take heart. Understanding why your wife acts in this manner is the first step towards dealing with it in a way that will give you the peace you need and will get your marriage back into a more respectful, caring place.

Every woman is unique in her own way but there are several common reasons why a wife takes on a negative demeanor, including:

She's unhappy with herself. Life has a way of flying by and before we know it, we're middle-aged, staring down the barrel of retirement and we haven't accomplished any of the things we thought we would when we were a bright, young, twenty-something. Just as men hit a point that is often described as "the mid-life crisis," many women do the very same thing. If your wife is unhappy with who she is at this point in her life that can easily manifest itself into anger that is directed squarely at you.

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She's harbouring resentment from a past conflict. No one can hold a grudge as well as a wife. As a woman, I can easily attest to that fact. Women tend to be more emotional in general and if something is said by a husband in the heat of an argument moment, it can burn a hole in a woman's memory forever. Negative comments that are initiated through conflict can impact a woman in a very strong way. Those feelings of resentment can easily manifest themselves into anger. Your wife may be so upset with you over something you said to her months ago, that she just can't let it go. She's allowing her anger to boil over to the point that her main goal is simply to emotionally hurt you, in whatever way she can.

She's not satisfied with the marriage. Marriage is very much a journey. If you've been with your wife for some time you know that there are times when the journey is rewarding and fulfilling and other times when it becomes an endless struggle. Your wife's anger may be related to her feeling that the marriage isn't what it needs to be. Every woman wants to have an emotional connection with her husband that she can be proud of and that she embraces. If you two aren't as close as you once were, and she's feeling frustrated by that, she may start to take that out on you in the form of disparaging remarks or distance.

Being honest with yourself and the state of your marriage is the key to understanding why your wife is always mean to you. It takes a strong man to face what's going on in his marriage. If you're intent on helping your wife move her mood into a more positive place, focus your emotional energy on understanding her more. You'll both appreciate the enormous effort you're putting into your relationship.

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There are several things we begin doing when we're first informed that our loved one has become unhappy in the marriage and is ready to end it. Many of which come naturally to us and are almost impossible to avoid in the beginning. The main reason we tend to foul up our chances to save our marriage at first, is that for most, we never saw it coming nor did we know to prepare for such a day. It's not like we have a back up plan or a to do list when we're faced with a potentially failing marriage. So many times, we end up making things worse.

You may or may not have already realized this. It may seem like everything you do right now is just pushing your spouse further away. And, you're right.

I know you have good intentions, you want to make things right and you'll do just about anything and everything under the sun to make it happen. In fact, you're so willing that you find yourself doing things you thought you'd never do. But, here in lies the big problem. You're so desperate to save your marriage, that you've lost sight of who you are and how to behave rationally. Which is all perfectly natural. You've become so consumed with saving your marriage, you're unprepared and living in the moment. This kind of uncontrolled behavior is working against you.

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See, we're not very good at thinking on our feet when we're in the middle of a marriage crisis. We often say and do things in the moment that have consequences we can neither foresee or control. It has such a grip on you that it basically controls everything you say and are about to do. The feelings of hurt, anger, confusion and possibly betrayal are so powerful that they often dictate our actions during this trying time.

So why is all of this so bad when we're trying to save our marriage? Because this type of desperate, uncontrolled behavior if left unchecked will often be what ends our marriage.

I know your heart is in the right place, and you feel like if you don't say or do something every chance you get it could be your last. But, don't let this since of urgency and panic damage your marriage any further. You have to understand, that everything you do right now is absolutely critical to saving your marriage. Every heated argument that you let get the best of you, the things you say that you probably shouldn't have could be the final straw. All of the times you may have cried to your spouse, begged or pleaded with them to stay, bothered them at work about the marriage trouble or cornered them every chance you had to discuss it further are just making things worse for you.

It is absolutely without a doubt the most important thing you can do right now. Getting control of your emotions so that you are back in control. By taking this step fist, you have already increased your chances to save your marriage ten fold. When you are back in control, then the next steps needed to save your marriage will fall into place. Now you can start focusing on how you're going to handle these situations so that they work to your advantage, carefully planning what you're going to say and do to save your marriage. And most importantly, not just talking about it, but doing it.

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Asking "how do I save my marriage" is a positive sign if you're asking it to the correct person. If you're asking this question to yourself and hoping to come up with answers with good ways of how to save a marriage, then you're on the wrong track - and you should change your approach to the situation immediately.

When my husband, whom I love so much, said that he wanted a divorce I was shocked, even though I saw it coming. I was desperate, and was asking "how do I save my marriage" to myself day and night, trying to come up with something that would make him love me again and stop my divorce.

Unfortunately, in my desperation, what I thought I should do was nonsense. I saw that I was acting according to my instincts and emotions, and those told me that I should try to talk to him, I should beg to him. I knew that begging wouldn't work - since he was fed up with me, begging would just worsen the situation. I was desperate.

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But I came to my senses - and I was going nowhere by asking how do I save my marriage to myself. I realized that I couldn't think clearly because of my desperation - and I thought maybe I should seek outside advice on how to save my marriage.

This was the best decision I've ever made in my life, because now I have saved my marriage and and my husband fell in love with me a second time, and we couldn't be happier!

If you want to save your marriage, you should stop following what you think should be done, and ask for proven methods from outside sources.

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There may be many potentially serious indications that she's thinking about divorce in the unhealthy marriage, when one or both of you quit trying to understand each other during arguments, or even in simple conflict.

This leads me to note a few signals for you that your wife might be questioning herself: is it time for a divorce?

- She seems to have given up on being willing and ready to lovingly untangle disagreements.

When battles and conflicts become daily occurrences, and tend to arise over almost anything, then that's when things get a quite testy.

If you arrive just a few minutes later than you 'd promised it turns into a yelling contest and winds up you both go to bed that night upset again, again throughout the week.

And that's a big concern.

These sorts of conflicts that are happening quite regular tend to sail small arguments and further heated debate far out of reach, and do most of the time indicate that your relationship or marriage is headed in the wrong direction.

- Senseless conflicts seem to separate you both further.

Of all let's be clear on something: just because your partner is exhibiting a couple of the foul behaviors that I just mentioned, doesn't mean that they're definitely saying or wanting a separation, I think I want a divorce.

It may simply be signals they are thinking about divorce that these are indicators rising problems up the road in your love relationship.

If you're seeing several all sorts of these signals in your spouse consistently week in and week out, surely it's giving you sensations that things look pretty grim for the marriage.

If this is the case I suggest you take some action for positive change now so perhaps more situations do not get out of control.

If you're seeing this symptom as well as some of the others on this list, start taking action to stop the falling apart of your love for each other and the marriage.

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It may quite merely be that these are signals about your spouse thinking about divorce, and that your marriage is in trouble.

If you've been experiencing these kinds of signals in your spouse more than just occasionally, and you're sensing that it might be time for a divorce, you do need to do something in a right-minded sense to make optimistic changes, like soon.

Quite often, married couples who disagree and raise deep conflict on a regular basis, but have on the other hand still have a deep love for one another, can fix the broken marriage.

In an easier to understand note, I mean if you and your partner are at each other's throat far too often, over little things, it is time to learn way to heal the problem or mend.

Healing means learning how to stop the needless conflict in its track, and in a more helpful fashion for the both of you.

No matter what, a marriage with zero sex most usually is a relationship on its way to ending in divorce court

If your partner has no urge for sex and excuses become the way, that's a most evident signal of a broken marriage.

- It means surely that your partner is saying, I think I want a divorce.

For certain this is an unhappy sign, and it's something that needs attention when this has become of the troubles in the marriage.

I have seen this to be of the greater signals that a love relationship and/or marriage is moving down an unhappy avenue.

Usually, though, it's more a symptom than a root problem, and resolving the core issues of your marriage can usually help re-build the emotional connection and lead your spouse to begin showing interest and affection again.

- Your spouse is not around more often or always pre-occupied.

Simply put, if you're spending less time with your wife than you have in the past or if she seems distant and pre-occupied when you are spending time together, that can be a clear sign of a spouse mindfully troublesome with the decision to end a marriage.

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Sex can be symptom of other problems in your marriage-- if you're always fighting and there's no emotional connection, the sex is going to disappear.

Yes, it's no secret that an increase in the frequency and intensity of arguments with your partner are a clear indication that all is not well with your marriage.

Now, don't act rash or get too excited here just because you and your spouse are fighting a few times a week.

Many married couples will disagree and have their tiny battles from time to time, and it's actually a healthy thing to disagree and even to argue now and then, as long as they lead to resolutions instead of leave lingering hard feelings, like:

- Thinking you need marriage advice and deciding should I stay or leave.

- No loving and emotional exchanges can mean a withdrawal of intimacy and affection.

If your partner is staying out late more often, and showing less interest in family and spending time together, that may be an indication that they are unhappy with the situation at home.

It may also mean that they are thinking about divorce and getting plans made for life apart, and perhaps structuring a new social life or perhaps have found some else.

Hopefully that's not the case, and don't prematurely accuse your spouse of this just because they're home less often, but it is a possibility.

If your marriage is in a doom and gloom stage and you're worried that your spouse is thinking about divorce, then hopefully you'll find the right advice for love relationship healing.

It may also be a hefty sign that your partner is mindfully searching out the relationship if being distant and close-hearted and has stopped being interested in showing and touching love towards you.

Often with this an all-around shortage of emotional closeness and interconnection, is almost no readiness and willingness to discuss or show feelings and emotions.

If you're seeing this symptom as well as some of the others I've indicated, Start taking action to stop the splitting apart of your relationship.

Keep in mind the Course in Miracles states, "If all but loving thoughts has been forgotten, what remains is eternal."

It can also be a problem of its own and lead to a marriage crisis, whether it's caused by fading attraction or a low sex drive.

These kinds of arguments, if they happen frequently and tend to blow small grievances or disagreements way out of proportion, can indicate that your marriage is headed in the wrong direction.

Remember, if your partner seems to no longer care about the outcome of a fight, or if they seem to feel as though trying to find a solution to your problems is pointless or hopeless, then that can be a clear indication of deeper troubles.

When this kind of despair sets in, your partner may withdraw further and feel as though there will never be a way for the two of you to live together in peace.

That's obviously not a good thing, and it's something that you need to work on if this has become a problem in your relationship and marriage.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.