Sometimes when we feel stressed and we don’t seem to be able to bear the pressure of the demands set upon us by our modern lives. We seem to be powerless to stop ourselves falling into what some of us could call a “negative” mind set.

So, what is negativity?

I would like to throw some light into this word in order to better understand what it is.
What do we really do when we lose the balance and harmony that propel us into a world sunk in a black hole, in a dark void of hopelessness so painful and overwhelming sometimes?

What can we do to get ourselves out of it, to shift ourselves into the more “normal” and comfortable existence that on the best part of our lives becomes our familiar routine?
Life is a balance of polarities: right and wrong, light and darkness, heavy and light, love and hate… it is but the two sides of the same coin. One cannot exist without the other.
We long for happiness and joy and we refuse to acknowledge our shadow side that is simply that part of us that has not been integrated in our daily consciousness. This shadow part is made up of our sins, rejected parts of our personalities, sad or painful memories, unfinished business, unforgiven episodes in our lives, unhealed relationships, etc. It could mainly be summarised in two points:

1. Non-acceptance of our reality exactly as it is.
2. Non-integration of the individual parts of ourselves.

When we don’t accept the reality such as it is, we are refusing to accept that we need to deal with our present circumstances exactly as they have been presented to us in order to learn our lessons and move forward. We create resistance because we go against the flow of our present life and therefore we feel as if we struggle without achieving whatever we have in mind at the time.
The energy we draw from this way of acting is heavy and leaky: it is not full and joyful. No wonder we feel tired, exhausted and tired of literally fighting against the elements.
The other side of the coin is gratitude: to give ourselves credit for what we have already achieved in life and to avoid the common thought “this is not enough” or “I don’t know what I want or where I am going”. The fact is that WE ARE ENOUGH and that all of us have an INNER CAMPUS continuously guiding us to our final destination. But by losing the perspective of the blessings that we have already received in our lives, we fall into the trap of believing the opposite side – that we are not enough, that we are not happy, that we are victims, that the world owes us something, that we are waiting and expecting others to bring to us what we can’t or don’t bring to ourselves.

So this is when we get to the point of needing to integrate all the individual parts of ourselves in order to have the FULL VIEW, the BIGGER PERSPECTIVE of our lives.
And we do this by understanding that the world around us is simply a mirror of our beliefs and mind-sets.
So for instance, are you unhappy because people don’t listen to you?

My question is: How much do you listen to others (without judging them) and How much are you really listening to yourself?
Or if you say that you don’t feel appreciated in your job and you seem to be under great pressure, my question is: Where don’t you appreciate yourself? What part of your life, what achievements don’t you acknowledge? What are you trying to prove and to whom? Why are you pushing yourself so hard? Where is your compassion towards yourself?

So in fact we can see that it is not so much the fact that we are a positive or negative person, but perhaps having the skill to hold the balance between gratitude and ambition, acceptance and striving to move forward, living our life and chasing after our dreams. In a word, learning to toss the coin of polarity on an ongoing and continuous dance on its edge and not letting it fall flat on the one side or the other.
Because everything in life has two opposite sides to it, we learn to balance them by finding out the two extremes before we can find the “happy medium”. We learn how happy we can be by going through very sad times. We appreciate joy when we have suffered sorrow. We can only understand what self-esteem is when we have felt worthless.
But in all these cases, the danger is to fall for wanting the good without experiencing the bad: when we draw the pendulum to one of its extremes, the law of cause and effect will automatically turn it in the opposite direction once the first movement has lost its impulse. This feels like a life of extremes ups and downs, exhilaration and deep pain.

But when we decide that we have learnt through extremes for long enough and want to start learning by maintaining the harmony in our lives, we start paying attention to the people, situations, emotions, thoughts… that cross the boundaries we set up when we say “I promise myself never to let this happen to me again” or “I have learnt from this experience once and for all” or “I now want to start learning through joy and not through suffering”.

It is but a conscious decision which will make the difference and the persistence and determination to keep to our word that makes this shift.
And the last thing we want to do is to make ourselves wrong because we are not moving fast enough or we are going in a different direction that we originally planned.

Learning the Ant lessons is a gift for us all: they are prepared to go incredible distances to bring one little piece of food to their nest, one step at a time, going through all obstacles and focusing on the final goal. Such a little being with such big strategy!

We can and need to raise above the fears and demands of our ego. It is a personal choice and it takes to release control of the outcomes in the events of our lives, it takes humility to accept our bigger potential, it takes courage to trust our higher destinies, it takes love to allow ourselves to walk one little step at a time.

But it can be done. And together, we shall do it!

Author's Bio: 

Dr Ana Garcia has a Doctoral Degree in Metaphysical Sciences specializing in Transpersonal Counselling (integration of higher consciousness in the counselling process) and a Masters degree in Education and Languages. She is a Coach U CTP graduated Life and Business Coach and has a management qualification with the British Institute of Management.

Dr Ana is a Reiki Master and a Spiritual Mentor. She has studied the Metamorphic Technique Universal Principles with its founder, Gaston St. Pierre and holds qualifications in Character Analysis and Graphology with the British School of Yoga and Nutrition with the School of Natural Health Sciences (UK).

Dr Ana achieved her Distinguished Toastmaster award (DTM) in July 2010, the highest qualification awarded by Toastmasters International (, a non-profit organization focusing on communication and leadership, and which Dr Ana achieved within the record time of 3 & ½ years because “You can only help others when you develop yourself first”.

In 2009-2010, Dr Ana was elected President of Peninsula and Pinelands Toastmasters Clubs and Area Governor for Area D3 (Cape Town) in District 74 (South Africa). Dr Ana was also appointed Club Coach for Pinelands Toastmasters Club in the same year. During her time in office, Dr Ana led both Area D3 and Pinelands Club to President Distinguished Status, the maximum level of recognition and achievement awarded by this organisation (90% KPI’s) and Peninsula Toastmasters Club to Select Distinguished Status with 80% KPI’s. Dr Ana managed to achieve this goal after both clubs and area had failed to reach the basic performance level (or minimum status of recognition of Distinguished Status based on 50% KPI’s) for several years in a row.

Dr Ana's passion is to inspire others to claim their own power, clarify their dreams and create strategies to succeed. Her vision is to help the earth raise its base-frequency from pain and violence to hope and harmony and she thinks this is best accomplished by working with the parents of the New Children so that they can reach their potential unimpeded and anchor their higher frequencies of love and harmony in the planet.