Positive Thinking - the most misunderstood concept in recent years

Today I want to have a few words with you about an issue – interesting for most of us. You might heard a lot of it already.

Perhaps you heard that you should think positive to get positive results, yes?
– Or even you HAVE TO think positive if you want to become successful at all.

A lot of coaches, trainers or even a hole industry of personal development experts make a living by telling us how to behave to become successful. And actually it is still the best paid job to tell others what to do. ;-)

But seriously – we want to share our experiences with such “tips and recommendations” with you,
as we had contact to several programs in the scope of personal development and success coaching.
So here we are:

After using affirmations and positive thinking I have to say – it works – sometimes – under certain circumstances ;-)
But I think it’s the most misunderstood concept in recent years. Many people and even so called experts, tell you that everything will be fine, once you start to think positive.

Your wife or husband hates you, your relationship is destroyed, your bank balance makes you a stomach ulcer and your boss fired you last Friday, right before your 20th anniversary in the company – But hey – see the positive side – Now you have lots of leisure time, time to read all the books you want to read. You’re free now to go out with whomever you want, and, if you want with as many as you want.

Really – of course, this might be a good strategy to overcome the pain of such incidents, but is it true? I mean – when you feel like crying for joy, when your partner leaves you, or your boss fires you – FINE – that’s very good – so you can focus on the next challenge, the next adventure waiting for you.

But very often that’s not true. Very often you feel sad when such things happen to you. And it was written already in the bible – “There is a time to laugh and a time to cry – a time to love and a time to hate.”

Thinking positive means – be aware that there is a positive part in every situation – a positive aspect in every negative incident you occur, and try to find it and think on it while you mourn. In my opinion it doesn’t mean – being happy independent what happens to you.

“I’m fired – oh – what a great chance – oh – what a happy men or women I am that this happens to me.” And you are smiling while your heart is crying. Guess what your unconscious mind will register? What you say or what you really feel?

The Negative is part of our life. Actually without it – the Positive couldn’t exist at all. And we shouldn’t deny it because we misunderstood the sense and the core of positive thinking. Positive thinking doesn’t mean deny the negative and fade it out. There are negative situations and experiences waiting for us, or even encountered us already. We have to handle them, find a way to live with them and finally find a way to overcome them.

Positive thinking is thought to help us by doing so, and it is a great tool to do it faster, better and more thorough than without it.

But we got a critical mind and different feelings to use them all. Life is not a serious of happy moments, it’s a back and force, up and down, full of challenges, problems, failures, victories, successes, dreams, disappointments AND happy moments.

You know – what kind of value has a victory to someone who was never the loser? What kind of value has a family to someone that was never separated from them? How important is money to someone born rich without any worries about finances?

In essence – we need the negative to recognize the positive. We need times of sadness and mourning to appreciate the happiness and abundance all around us.

Positive thinking is important – don’t let me be misunderstood – when we use it wisely and honestly. For example: “I’m fired and I’m very sad and disappointed now, but probably it can change my life in a positive way I can’t see at the moment. So it’s okay to be depressed for a while, but than I will focus on my new chances. Every day a little bit more.”

So – again – when you are honestly happy about a negative situation, like losing your job, than fine – you don’t have to mourn only because everyone expect you to do so. But if you feel sad about it, take your time and don’t forget that negative incidents are part of your life. You have to handle it – in a time for laughing and a time for crying. Don’t mix it up.

You need both in your life – a critical, negative way of thinking for example when you have to check contracts, advertisements, business partners, suppliers and other people aiming for the best of you – your money ;-)

Knowing that there is a positive part in every negative situation and a negative part in every positive situation will help you to become successful – when you use this knowledge wisely. Happy people most often have a good mixture of a positive attitude in general and a healthy mistrust in special offers made to you.

How about you? What is your opinion? What is your experience? I look forward to your comments.

Good luck on your way.

Cu soon

Gerd