Realtors and Dating- Can They Co-exist?

Prior to becomming a full time Date and Love Life Coach I had been a licensed real estate broker since 1996. This major career shift became my gift after loving, losing, and a whole lot of learning!

Real Estate was a career path that allowed me to have balance between good income and the demands of single parenting for many years. That being said, I also know how demanding the job can be and how difficult it can be on even the closest people to your heart, to find this balance and show up “fully present” as needed in each required role.

Throughout the 27+ years I have been in this industry (I was a baby) I’ve met and still meet a lot of people—agents, buyers, sellers, renters and lenders, serial open house goer’s. Then because I am a Realtor with all of the inherent personality characteristics that come along with it, I have befriended everyone from my Starbucks Barista to my Personal Trainer. There’s the Liquor Store owners, Nail Salon owners Gym Owners, Life Coaches, Business Coaches, Golf Instructors... I think if you looked at your own life and personality, you would understand I could go on and on here.

The point is, as Realtors, we have a LOT of opportunities to meet people...potential clients and potential romantic relationships . The question is, do we take time for pursuing that last one? Do we manage our love lives as well as we manage our client’s goals? Do we even know where or how to date?

As a female Realtor (mostly inactive as this is my FT passion now) and Dating and Love Life Coach, over the years I have been asked out to go on many dates. It did not seem to matter if I was single, engaged or married at the time, single again, had a sign on my foreheads that read “not even close to being on the market”, or if I’ve shown absolutely no interest in anything other than being “All Business/Parent,” the invites and flirtations and often... inappropriate texts just keep on rollin’ in. We’re people, people. Our friendly, outgoing nature invites many in. And I know that I’m not alone: It happens to almost everyone in this business of real estate. Especially if you are a woman. And I am sure it’s happened to you.

It took years embrace this opportunity to figure out how to date, juggle it all, prepare for and date RIGHT.

For years, I did not know how to balance selling real estate with dating and parenting full time. Dating parallels Real Estate in many ways; you must know your market, how to properly lead generate, how to advertise and how to following up... effectively!

I did not know how to turn any area of my life off and make time for me. I did not know how to be present in the present. After my first divorce in 1998 that left me suddenly a single parent of 3 kids under 17 months of age, I was forced to figure it out. And in time, I did! Years after taking some time off to learn from and heal from my failed marriage, I embarked upon online dating and met my second husband very shortly after. Great guy, still a good friend but after a 4th child and the challenges that a second marriage can present (ex’s, parenting style conflicts, and stress) we ended up parting ways after an 11 year marriage.

It was time to learn how to juggle it all again, this time with a 4th child. It took me over three years to find my way, find myself and to begin to date again. Not only had I forgotten about what dating again would be like, I had no clue how much the way people meet, had changed. Even dating online had changed drastically in 15 years!

So I tell you all this because in addition to 27 years selling real estate, three coaching certifications, 8 years of coaching, and coaching on a topic I have a lot of personal experience (and success) in, I want you to know... I get it. The struggle to meet quality people is real! As can be the struggle to keep them!

So, are you a single Realtor, and finding a hard time meeting the “right” people? Do you desire a long term partner? How are you currently dating? Do you make time to date? Do you have a personal life?

And more important, are you even ready to date? Are you truly in a place of self-awareness with a “holistic” balance in your life, to even attract the right partner and a healthy long term relationship this time around?

God knows we have all invested a ton of money on the Tom Ferry Seminars of the world, business coaching and continuing education. So kudos if you are rockin it in your business!

If you have not invested much in your own personal and dating life, perhaps we should talk. As a Realtor, you’ve been taught how much the balance in your personal life, can affect your business. Are you thriving or surviving in that area right now?

I know your world selling real estate and... I am a Dating and Love Life Coach. I can help you attract a meaningful love life with a holistic approach:

Are you carrying around baggage from your past that may be affecting the ability to sustain or obtain a healthy relationship?

Is your life a “big life” and a relationship would be the icing on that cake? Or are you dating unbalanced and relying on a partner to “complete” you?

Would you like to learn what online or other dating services might place you where you desire to be?

Could you use help writing a compelling Dating Profile that attracts not only more communication, but communication from they qualify of people you want to date?

Have you forgotten or perhaps have never learned “how” to date into a fulfilling and lasting relationship?

Are you presenting yourself authentically but in a way that attracts attention from who you desire?

Do you keep saying "I'll get to it" about dating as the clock keeps ticking by?

If you would like to find out more about how I work with Realtors to help them identify potential negative relationship patterns, create a well balanced life with the goal of attracting and keeping the right partner while increasing your self confidence, date readiness and personal income, reach out to me for a free 30 minute “Discovery Session”. Let’s see if we should be working together.

Also, step over to my brand new FB Swipe Right Dating support page Swipe RIGHT Dating on FB to ask questions, offer experience, get support and to learn about upcoming singles events designed to inform and entertain!

And finally, since you read this far, I thought I’d share some entertaining “truths” of what it’s like to go on a date with or be in a relationship with a Realtor, from the other person’s perspective. (It’s not super sexy and all in good humor!)

WE ARE ALWAYS FAIRLY LATE. It doesn’t matter if it’s to a funeral, our own birthday party, a listing appointment, a massage, after school pick up...we roll in pretty much thirty minutes to an hour after we were supposed to meet you because we’re still at the office, or in the car– trying to close a deal—and sometimes... we just don’t show up at all because of it. We don’t pride ourselves in it, but it’s how we’re wired and how difficult finding time management success can be for our responsibilities and unforeseen challenges in this job.

WE HAVE A PLETHORA OF CONFIDENTIAL PHONE CALLS. “I’m sorry, but I have to take this call,” leaving you to dine alone, while we dash for the door (but we always come back 5 minutes later). Routinely we’ll ask to be excused from your presence, briefly. Then, roughly 30 minutes later, we’ll pardon ourselves again, “I’m so sorry, I need to use the loo,” folding our napkin on the table, meticulously, because we’re disguising guilt—that we don’t really need to relieve ourselves, just make another “confidential call.” This time in the toilet stall praying nobody else flushes in our newfound very temporary “office”.

WE CONSTANTLY CHECK OUR EMAIL AND SOCIAL MEDIA So, if we happen to meet you for dinner (late, obviously) we’ll likely be checking our emails, incessantly, on our smartphones. We HAVE to know if an offer was accepted, did the Inspection come back, was I the chosen listing agent...Most of the time, we don’t even know we’re doing it, aka, being rude to you; it’s just an extension of our brain, and because we don’t want to miss an “opportunity” or screw-up a deal (as it has happened a few times in the past. We just can’t forget that ole’ burn). And if you would happen to get to the next level—an intimate moment, per se, and we happen to hear that notification from our phone, in the distance, there’s probably a good chance that we’re not focused on being swept away in the throws-of-passion anymore because now we’re wondering who and which deal that “notification” is from…

WE HAVE MANY CONFIDENTIAL PHONE CALLS. Routinely we’ll ask to be excused from your presence, briefly. “I’m sorry, but I have to take this call,” leaving you to dine alone, while we dash for the door (but we always come back 5 minutes later). Then, probably about 30 minutes later, we’ll excuse ourselves again, “I’m so sorry, I need to use the restroom,” folding the napkin back onto the table, meticulously, because we’re disguising guilt—that we don’t really need to relieve ourselves, just make another “confidential call.” This time in the toilet stall.

WE ARE AMAZINGLY GENEROUS. When our real estate is hopping and we are making “bank” we are incredible givers: Over-the-top gifts, swanky dinners (which we “excuse” ourselves from in between courses), trips (although they are short, not lasting more than 3 days because we have to get back to biz, and come with laptop), and the list goes on.

SOMETIMES WE HIT A DRY SPELL. When this happens we’ll ask you to please pick-up the check, because our next “ BIG deal” isn’t closing for 90 days, and we need to conserve our funds—for our business expenses, such as entertaining our clients. Oh and maybe we forgot to send the IRS estimated quarterly payments in and our last closing check needs to cover it.

WE ARE SO DANG FRIENDLY. Downright nice to everyone: Check-out line at the grocery, the barista at Starbucks, your family members, your facebook friends (who sometimes we cyber-stalk), your co-workers, and so on because we see EVERYONE as a potential client. So while out with our significant other in our “free time”, we may ask everyone there if anyone is looking to buy or sell a home. I personally did this while waiting at the drivers license bureau several times. And just made general conversation...with pretty much everyone.

WE ARE FUN! So fun to be around. Yes, on those brief moments, when we can actually come up for air, we party. Heck, we’re the life of the party (for the 30 minutes we’re there). An offer is coming in with a tight response time.

WE REALLY WANT TO MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY We see how bad we are at tug-a-rope. We want to be on the other side, when we are on the other side. When we are at work, we feel guilty for not being at home, when we are at home, we feel guilty for not generating new business. We really want to please our clients, family and significant other’s. We’d like to find significant others. We just don’t know how to juggle all this and find balance.

So you can probably see why Realtor’s are not always the best people to date. We ALWAYS have real estate on the brain, 24/7/365. And, okay, so sometimes we think about it—dating and lovers and all of that, but then the phone rings and we’re romanced by, once again, another deal.

If I could help you take control over your dating life, feel less guilt, spend more time with family and find and attract the right partner for you, while making more money, would it have been worth messaging me for a FREE Discovery Session?

Swipe RIGHT! Message me today.

Dominique Nicole , CDC, HHC, LC