1. Learn from your setbacks
We all experience disappointments and setbacks from time to time, and it is human nature to become discouraged at those times. But, you can turn setbacks into positive experiences if you view them as learning curves. Meet your challenges head-on, and focus on the outcome - not the obstacles. I like the cliché which is currently doing the rounds, namely ‘don’t make disappointment or failure your permanent address’. Wise words, methinks.
2. Gain new skills
Building a new career, or enhancing your current skills, is a good way to strengthen your self-confidence. Gaining new knowledge and investing in further education will boost your self-esteem to dizzy heights! Do you have an area in your life that is crying out for improvement? Would paying attention to this boost your self-confidence .. ? Consider enrolling on a course that will enhance your current skills and pave the way for future career development. There is so much on offer; do some research and find something that resonates within you; you will feel the attraction, it will draw you like a magnet. Imagine what it will feel like when you have mastered the course and hold that piece of paper, that new qualification in your hand. Enjoy the energising sensation, and take the first step toward accomplishing the goal.
3. Believe in your potential
You may not yet be the person you wish to be,¬ but faith in your own abilities and potential will help you move in that direction. If you want to achieve something of worth in your life, you absolutely must believe in your own potential. Develop a vision, and use positive affirmations to support that vision!
4. Enlist support
Turn to experts in the areas where you want to build more confidence. You can find expertise in books, articles, courses, videos, seminars, and lectures, not forgetting people. A life coach can help by holding you accountable for taking the necessary actions to achieve your goals. That way, you’re sure to fulfil them, and in record time!
5. Practice self-confidence!
Acting ‘as if’ is one of the most powerful life-changing tools one can utilise. Since the subconscious mind cannot tell the difference between what is ‘real’ and what is ‘acted’ ¬ the more confidently one acts, the more convinced the powerful subconscious mind will become that one is indeed confident! See yourself oozing confidence! Involve yourself actively in matters that interest you. Join clubs, associations or groups of similar interest, and participate actively. Being part of a group gives you a sense of belonging, acceptance and appreciation. Knowing that you are part of something important and meaningful will do a lot to boost your self-esteem – you may even wish to consider doing some charity work, which will give you a sense of fulfilment, accomplishment and appreciation.
6. Celebrate your successes
Few things build self-confidence like success, but often we fail to appreciate and recognise our own personal successes. Doesn’t it feel good when someone compliments you on something you’ve done well? Make a point of acknowledging and recognising your own successes, no matter how trivial they may seem. A pat on the back or (my personal favourite) a lime green milkshake, won’t do any harm ..
7. Expect to be self-confident
Expectation has been called ‘faith in action’. Expect to be confident, and your mind will automatically programme your actions! Uncertainty results in lack of self-confidence. It’s that simple. If you feel that you lack confidence, a good exercise would be to discover your own unique, personal strengths. We all have them, and you are no exception.
Take a moment to ponder this statement – a thought becomes a wish, a wish becomes a dream, a dream becomes a vision, a vision becomes a goal, and a goal, when accompanied by action, is a potential reality! No-one need forever live in the land of dreams. It is time to use your self-confidence and live the dream for real!
Think, then, about what you would like to accomplish in life. Jot down a ‘life purpose statement’ for yourself. Determine the person you would like to be – the values that you choose to live by, and make them your own. This is a powerful way of boosting your self-esteem, and will define who you really are. Whenever you read your own words, you will remember what you stand for, and what you wish to accomplish in life.
A life without goals is a life of emptiness and confusion. Goals give us a sense of purpose, and steer us in the right direction; the result is a motivated and ultimately fulfilled self!
Perhaps you already are a relatively self-confident person. However, it could be that you are undergoing a confidence crisis, which has robbed you of your sense of self-worth and self-esteem. How will you set about conquering this?
OVERCOMING A CONFIDENCE CRISIS
A confidence crisis can be caused by normal life transition such as starting a new job, moving to a new country, starting a new business, or even starting a new relationship. Anything ‘alien’ to yourself can trigger a confidence crisis. It could be something significant, or even something as mundane as a bad haircut, extended dental work, or an error of judgement!
Our psyche needs self-confidence as much the body needs nutrition. It is the ‘engine’ that inspires us to move forward in life, driving us to take chances try new things. If you are experiencing a confidence crisis, do not despair, here are some techniques to guide you ..
1. Keep a Diary
Keeping a diary is a great way to record and deal with your feelings. This will also encourage daily reflection, which will help you to re-assess what you already know, what you have learned, and what you still need to grasp.
2. Be Grateful
Practice gratitude - be thankful for all that you have, and count the blessings you already possess. Write down some of the things you are thankful for - this will help you to feel richer and stronger in character, thereby boosting your self-confidence.
3. Make use of Affirmations
Stick them on the fridge, on your computer, on the wall in the loo if necessary, but use them, because they work! Affirmations such as "every day, in every way, I am getting better and better"; "people are attracted to me", "I am an expert in my field", work wonders for the soul; the inner you! State your affirmations in the present tense. You might even try doing this in front of a mirror!
4. Re-evaluate your Relationships
Re-evaluate your relationships. Do they have a positive impact on your life? If you are in a relationship that has a negative influence, then it may be time to withdraw gracefully and move on.
5. Join a Group!
Consider joining an interest or support group. Check your local newspaper and the internet for possibilities, also ask around, you will be amazed at the number of book clubs, breakfast clubs etc, that there are in existence. Chatting over a cappuccino with friends or others in like circumstances is a great morale booster. If you can’t find a group, what prevents you from starting one .. ? I lived in Shanghai, China for two years. My husband was frequently away in the country, and I was desperately lonely. I started a friendship club for the spouses of international assignees, and built it to 100+ members within a year. It was a wonderfully challenging and rewarding season in my life.
6. Become Self Aware
Become aware of what boosts your confidence and what brings it down. Sufficient sleep, working out, a good manicure, a trip to the country etc, are but a few ‘mood boosters’ which could impact greatly on one’s self-confidence.
7. Voice your Opinion
Don’t be afraid to make yourself heard. Freely share your thoughts, opinions, and preferences. If the thought of this instils fear in your heart, consider joining the Toastmasters organization; a great way of boosting your self-confidence, and believe me, beginners are made to feel so welcome, and at ease. The results are almost immediate, and you will never look back!
READY .. STEADY .. GO FOR IT!
You would probably be willing to try anything, if your success was guaranteed. Unfortunately, however, there are very few guarantees in real life. I challenge you to make a list of things you fear doing, and start doing them, one by one. You will be amazed at what this will do for your self-confidence.
Overcoming a confidence crisis could take minutes; months or even years. The good news, however, is that it IS possible – try the techniques given; you have nothing to lose and much to gain – and, the bonus is – you can look forward to being the wonderfully self-assured, self-confident, person that you were born to be – guaranteed!