We may only admit defeat when it is clear as the sun ... when we are defeated outside - in front of ourselves, others and the world - but what we do not really see is that the real defeat began in advance from within ... where we cling to ourselves with the wrong upbringing, negative programming, and many kinds of fears And doubts. So that we are not defeated again... What do you think today is that we take you on an interesting tour together to learn the meaning of defeats and realize the reasons for their existence? So that we can take immediate and effective measures to eliminate them with full awareness and wisdom.

What is the meaning of defeat?

Defeat means breaking the thorn or the inner psychological strength, so it is said: defeated so-and-so, i.e., conquering him and defeating him and beating him. And when we are defeated, our human weakness triumphs over us - which is our biggest adversary - and we are no longer able to withstand the inevitable challenges of daily life. If defeats and set backs are repeated, and we sit helpless without any action ... our defeats will turn into an internal program of continuous failure.

What are the causes of previous defeats?

Lack of experience and capabilities

The lack of experience and capabilities in any work we do may lead to unsuccessful results, as your own project may not be successful; because you did not have the necessary experience, funding or capabilities to make it successful. But some of us might say: I had sufficient experience and funding, but my project nevertheless failed due to circumstances beyond my control. I say to him: Did you manage this experience, money and capabilities with knowledge and wisdom, or did you seek help from someone who can do that? Have you persevered and put in a greater effort, with more intelligence and more effective strategies, to overcome these circumstances beyond your control?

Personal traits, defeatist
Some of us may exhibit defeating and angry personal traits as a result of a stressful and difficult past, and a frustrated family, social or economic environment. He did not succeed in progressing in his life as he wanted and wished... Because he saw everything frustrated and dark. I know without a doubt that this dark vision, when combined with difficult circumstances, is able to prevent us from progressing and achieving achievement in our lives - only if we allow it to do so - this merging is easy to break the fragile souls and the frail minds, but it is not able to break the high motivation And those with strong, solid souls.. Do you think that you are one of them?

Competitive values

Some of us have adopted competitive values as a result of the wrong education and upbringing. This made him not content with what is in his hands, but also wants everything in the hands of others. Thus, he became not satisfied with anything, no matter how many blessings he was given. And neglected what God blessed him with, so his suffering began with what I call "delusional defeats", which is through a false belief in failure for a person as a result of his insatiable competitive values, which do not know contentment or sufficiency.

Cut off the ties of kinship

And another part of us may have been alone, frustrated, suffering loneliness and losing support for leaving the ties of kinship... It is no wonder that he did not find material or moral family support, to overcome the pitfalls and challenges he faces on a daily basis. And you may say to me: My relatives are tired, not supportive - this is your opinion - but God Almighty said and His Truthful saying in Surah Muhammad verse 22: (Would you, if you take over, spoil in the land, and cut off your kinship) so cut off kinships is spoiling.
And in the hadith of Anas that the Messenger of God, May God bless him and grant him peace, said: (He who likes to be well livelihood and be nurtured for him in his trail, let him reach his kinships).Agreed.

Love of life

And part of us, not a few, loved the worldly life a lot beyond its destiny, indulged in desires, and completely forgot to work for his afterlife. Therefore, the more the life gave him joy and happiness, and the more it departed from him with its pleasures, he felt humiliated and defeated. The real defeat that he had to realize...Was in the control of his lusts over him. And not in the seclusion of the life from him.The life may not give you much, but in spite of that you are satisfied with what was given... it will inherit you a feeling of happiness, self-sufficiency and reassurance of self.

Incorrect religious background
Some of us may embrace an incorrect and confused religious background, which will lose the constants of religion, these constants that we could have relied on to reform and improve all aspects of our lives. By going back to adhering to the Qur’an and the purified Sunnah, we will never be defeated. God Almighty said: (You who believe! Obey Allah and obey the Messenger and those who rules you, if you differ in anything amongst yourselves, refer it to Allah and His Messenger, if you believe in Allah and the other day it is good and better interpretation) women / 59.

Missing opportunities

And a group of us may have missed many rewarding opportunities; As a result of her continuing to make the wrong decisions again and again and perhaps after that they did not have other opportunities like it; they also didn't try to create new opportunities to advances their lives. Missing opportunities brings regret to our hearts and enrages us against our fate. Instead of succumbing to this feeling of sorrow and defeat, we must search for new opportunities that increase our growth and development, and constantly make correct decisions that push us forward every day.

Feeling injustice and lack of justice

There is a group, not a few, whose belief in injustice and lack of justice has been robbed of their faith, so they are unable to see God's wisdom in giving up the oppressor and experiencing the oppressed. Instead of choosing to suffer feelings of sadness, resentment and anger, it was more appropriate for it to be satisfied with the destiny of God and to have piety and patience until the judgment of God comes, and let us remind this group that God Almighty has sworn by His glory and majesty to help the oppressed even after a while.

Not feeling loved and cared for

And some of the people are unhappy and emotionally defeated... That is because he lacks feelings of love and attention, perhaps because they are not around him or because of the absence or departure of those who used to supply him with these feelings. The emotional emptiness, of course, can defeat us only if we move away from our closeness to God Almighty and we lose the feeling of his love and his support for us. Whoever God loves, he will be loved by all people, so he will be filled with a reservoir of love that never ends. On the authority of Abu Hurairah - may God be pleased with him - that the Messenger of God - may God’s prayers and peace be upon him - said: (If God loves a servant, he calls Gabriel: God loves so-and-so, so love him, and Gabriel loves him, so Gabriel calls among the people of heaven: God loves so-and-so love him, so the people of heaven love him. Then the acceptance is placed on the ground.) agreed.

Surrender to self and fancy

Most of us suffer from the abundance of sins and sins that cover the heart. And it is imprinted on our hearts, so we are no longer able to see the truth as true or falsehood as void because of our disobedience to God, and therefore we do not have a sound reference on which we can rely on facing the various challenges of life. Which makes its negative impact on us larger and greater stages of its positive impact? We let our ship be driven by the waves of life without being bound by the direction and guidance of God. The waves played with us and flanked us until they exhausted us and defeated us with confusion and wandering. Abu Hurairah narrated that: the Messenger of Allah said: “Verily, when the slave (of Allah) commits a sin, a block spot appears on his heart. When he refrains from it, seeks forgiveness and repents, his heard is polished clean. But if he returns, it increased until it covers his entire heart. And that is the ‘Ran’ which Allah mentioned: Nay, but on their hearts is the Ran which they used to earn". The solution is simply to sincerely repent and ask God for forgiveness every day for our sins ... so that God makes a difference for us to distinguish right from wrong, truth from falsehood and truth from deception and by good deeds increase our faith and guide all that is in our goodness and the life of our hearts.

Poverty and lack of resources

And a group of people were defeated by poverty and lack of resources, and they did not realize that poverty cannot defeat the submissive souls, and the holders of higher principles and values that befit the believers. Yes, poverty can never defeat you... Only your false sense of inadequacy and the inferiority of your principles and values can defeat you. The Almighty says in Surat Al-Imran verse 139 (So lose not heart, nor fall into despair: For ye must gain mastery if ye are true in Faith). And in the hadith of Abdullah bin Amr, may God be pleased with him: that the Messenger of God may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, said: “He Is successful who has accepted Islam, who has been provided with sufficient for his want and been made contented by Allah with what He has given him...” Narrated by Muslim

The urgency of God’s relief

And a group of us is rushing to relief not by insistence in supplication to God and anticipating relief soon, which is one who thinks well of God, but rather hastens him to abandon supplication or refrain from adopting the reasons, including outrage at the judgment of God. This is what plunges our souls into a sea of defeat and delivers us to them, grief and frustration; and it also brings us out of God’s goodness and mercy.
On the authority of Abu Razin, he said: The Messenger of God may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, said: “Our Lord is astonished by the despondency of His servants and the closeness of others. He looks at you anger and desperation and laughs knowing your relief is coming very soon".

Losing weapon of patience

God Almighty says in the wisdom of His Book (and gives good tidings to the patient) ... Are you among the patient?! Those who stand at adversity and do not panic; And they do not complain about God for His creation, but complain to God about what bothers them and tire them, and they do not disobey Him as well through their minds as to what He has commanded or forbade them, and do you believe with certainty that the whole affair of the believer is good.. As long as he has patience at the time of hardship and thanked at good times?! The weapon of the believer has always been patience in life's tests, and losing this weapon delivers us not only to defeat in this life but to the missed reward and wage in the hereafter. It is sufficient for you to be patient and to keep your weapon in the face of calamity, the words of God Almighty in Surah Al-Zumar verse 10: "Only those who are patient pay their reward without reckoning".

And after we have laid our hands on most of the causes of what we suffered from defeats.. We can now review these causes and find out where the defect lies and fix it with knowledge and wisdom. And with the presence of a good thinker like you and aware.. realizing and knowing a lot about his world, we can at the moment, God willing, generate innovative and effective solutions that help us to survive the quagmire of defeat, restore confidence again in ourselves and our world, and the steadfastness of our hearts with complete certainty in the inevitability of relief coming from God, no matter how intense the ordeals of us and the length of time ... so that we will not be defeated ... so that we will never be defeated.

Declare war on your defeats today ... and be the victor
"The only response to defeat is victory".
The famous quote "Winston Churchill", former British Prime Minister during World War II (1965-1874)

Author's Bio: 

Amany Saad
Author, Life Coach and Consultant.