Many people ask me if they will ever meet their soul mate or if the person currently in their lives is their soul mate. Since this is an issue where there may be some misunderstanding, I thought I would try to clarify what exactly is a soul mate.

When people ask me about their soul mate, I understand that they are looking for that one special person who will fulfill their dreams. This is the person, who will always understand you, be there for you, and fill all that inner emptiness you have been unable to fulfill. Well, I am sorry to disappoint you but that is not the job of a soul mate.

In the book Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, she summarizes the concept of a soul mate so well that I thought I would quote what she has to say. She says “People think a soul mate is a perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so that you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down the wall and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah! Too painful!

Soul mates come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for that”.

“A soul mate can sometime shake you out of a marriage that you needed to leave, tear your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so a new light can get in. Make you so desperate and out of control that you had to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master and beat it. Sometimes we can’t accept that a soul mate relationship has a short shelf life. It’s okay to still love them and miss them. Send them some love and light every time you think about them and then drop it and move on“.

Often we are just afraid of being alone, scared to death of what will happen if we are alone; that we will never be loved like that again. When we clear out the space and time we spend obsessing over a soul mate, we create a vacuum and guess what the universe does with that doorway? God rushes in and fills it with more love that you ever dreamed of. Stop using loss to block that doorway “.

By definition, soul mates are other souls with whom we have shared previous lives. With some souls, we have shared many lifetimes together while with others, it may have had been only one or two. The more lifetimes we have shared, the stronger the feeling of connection we will have towards that person. You know you have encountered a soul mate by the feeling you get when you meet that person for the first time and you feel as if you know them already.

Soul mates come in many forms. They are not just our lovers but can be members of our family, friends, co-workers, etc. Think about the people who are close to you and ask ”Do they elicit those feelings?”

Our feelings towards soul mates may not always be positive. They are colored by our previous life experiences with them. For example, if you were enemies in a previous life, you may not feel as if you cannot trust them. If you were lovers, you may want to continue that type of relationship.

As souls incarnate together, a bond of love develops no matter the nature of your relationships during your stay on Earth. Imagine your soul mates as actors in a play. One person plays the good guy and the other the bad guy. When the play is over everyone goes out for beer and the roles you played on stage don’t really matter. You are still good friends. This is how it is with souls. Souls choose to incarnate with one another because of the love they have for each other.

We continue to incarnate with the same souls because both souls have the same lessons to learn. Even if one is abusive and one a victim, these are the roles both souls agreed to play in this lifetime. Even though victim/abuser relationships are painful, they prompt us to learn self empowerment. They act as mirrors and help us to get a clearer picture of who we really are and what we came to learn.

Prior to incarnating, we plan our future lifetime and this includes who we will meet and the roles we will play. There really are no mistakes as we all made these choices before we get here. Unfortunately we do not remember these choices so we sometimes feel like we are being punished or rewarded.

The most important question you can ask yourself about a soul mate is “What can I learn from this relationship?” If you do not know the answer to that question, then you are not complete with the relationship. Even if the relationship ends, you will only attract another person into your life who will present you with the same lessons, albeit they will have a different face and body. We don’t get to graduate until we have mastered our lessons.

The best way to look upon soul mate relationships is to have realistic expectations. They are not here to fulfill your every need but to help you grow and learn. Once you have mastered the lesson you came to learn it is okay to let go and move on. Perhaps there is another soul mate waiting in the wings to have a relationship with you. Be thankful they have been in your life.

If you have questions about the soul mates in your lives, please feel free to contact me especially if you wish to know why they are in your lives or what is your life lesson or soul purpose.

I am available for personal and telephone readings, empowerment coaching, hypnotherapy, and healing either by responding to this newsletter or calling me at 505 474-6363 or 514 312-2451. Online classes, my books, and guided meditation CD's are available by visiting to

Author's Bio: 

Sharon Cheney is an accurate psychic medium, animal communicator, medical intuitive, skilled spiritual counselor, gifted teacher and author.

Sharon Cheney has been doing psychic readings professionally for over 25 years. Her accurate psychic readings can tell a person about their future, relationships, health, love, finances, career, business, soul purpose and lesson, karma and past lives. She can bring you messages from your departed loved ones and contact your spirit guides and angels. Sharon can communicate with animals, both living and deceased and tell you about their health and behavior. She can accurately answer ANY question you may have about your life, your relationships, other people or subjects. Born with special abilities and the sincere desire to help others, she has helped literally thousands find answers to their concerns.

In addition to her psychic gifts, Sharon Cheney holds a Bachelor of Science in Occupational Therapy, a Bachelor of Arts in Applied Social Science, and a Masters in Counseling Psychology and has had extensive training in holistic therapies, energy healing techniques and hypnotherapy. She is an ordained minister with the Priests of Melchizedek.

She has been teaching spiritual development classes at community colleges in Canada and the US for the past 20 years. Through web cam technology, she can now teach the class of your choice in your home, providing you gather a minimum of 6 people or more.

Sharon Cheney says “I realize that having psychic abilities is a gift that allows me to see the future and help people to become aware of new possibilities so they can improve their lives. Being able to communicate with spirits allows me to provide comfort and bring messages to those who have lost loved ones. It also gives me great joy to be in service to others and help them find peace in their lives.

Sharon now offers personal, telephone and face to face readings via internet video chatting so call for your appointment today. To see an example of this, click on

Sharon Cheney has authored the following book “Discover Your Psychic Abilities”, “Your Soul: The Roadmap to Your Life” and “Meet Your Spirit Guides and Angels” as well as 11 online classes on spiritual development and personal growth. She has a numerous guided meditation CD’s to help you to communicate with your spirit guides and angels, heal and empower yourself.

Sharon sends out a FREE monthly newsletter. If you would like to receive it please click on Newsletter to subscribe. To read old newsletter, please click on Newsletter Archives on her website

To learn more about Sharon Cheney’s services or to purchase her online, personal and web cam classes, books and guided meditation CD’s, please go to or call her at 505 474 6363.