I married my soul mate nineteen years ago. Before we met, I thought it would be easy and that we would intuitively understand each other’s wants and needs. It didn't happen that way and I didn't know why! I failed to consider many aspects of what it would be like to actually live with my soul mate. He had problems in a completely different way than I did, due to how he had been raised. Our different life experiences caused problems also. I couldn't help thinking that if this was my soul mate, how could a relationship with a regular guy have more problems than with him?

I looked up what a soul mate was and found some interesting information. A soul mate is a person who fills in all the gaps of your personality. I guess you would say that two soul mates are the yin and yang of a single person. Twin souls duplicate all of the personality traits of each other, including at times having the exact same experiences happen to them during their lifetime. I began to understand more of what I had been noticing about him and how our relationship worked. Twin flames are a variation upon twin souls but only together are the two people completed. Soul Mates can happen to clear up past karma and you can also be out of sync with a soul mate even if they exist in this lifetime.

Living with a soul mate is just as difficult as living with anyone else. Their personality faults and bad habits can drive you crazy. A soul mate is someone that you have bonded with in a past life. The soul connection can help you feel compassion even when they are at their very worst. Soul mates help their partners by expanding their viewpoints. They allow us to open ourselves up and see things in a different way. They feel in the gaps in experience we have by being included in their lives.

I enjoyed traveling and have traveled all over the country but I was never one to go hear bands play or attend musical concerts. My soul mate plays instruments and can really sing. I have heard many great bands and appreciate more types of music than I had ever thought existed. I have had a great deal of fun and found out that I could sing also. I never would have experienced this and many other rewarding things in our relationship if I hadn't met my soul mate. I have met another soul mate that I am out of sync with in this lifetime. He brings out the joy and happiness in me. He builds me up when I am down and helps me when I need it. I would have been a great deal poorer in spirit if I had never met either one of these people.

Ask yourself and ponder some serious questions

• What character flaws do I have?
• Am I a difficult person to live with?
• Am I ready to share my life completely with someone?
• Could I like this person and enjoy expanding my life?

It is important to ask if you can like the person. A lot of people now tend to believe that sex and love are the only important questions in a relationship. They then marry someone and it doesn't work out. The reason is that after all the glow wears off in a relationship; each person looks at each other differently. I have seen couples stay together not because of sex or how the other person looks. They stay together because they can look at the other person and say “I love them, like them, and want to spend the rest of my life with them.”

You should realize that your soul mate will probably share many of the traits that cause you to be a difficult person. The moment you realize this, you will see that even when you both look at the same problems, your soul mate does things in a totally different or opposite way than you do. The important thing is the result. Different methods don't matter as long as the end result is what both of you want to have happen. For example, I can be really stubborn at times, so I have little chance of finding a soul mate that is not stubborn in some way. I can depend upon him being stubborn but in a different way than how I am stubborn.

You can have more than one soul mate. This is because you have touched many souls in past lives and have often shared relationships with them. The more lifetimes you have lived, the more chances you will have of finding a compatible soul mate. It makes life really interesting at times. Different soul mates will complement you in different ways, and you learn different things with each soul mate. You may be out of sync with a soul mate which means that you never seem to both be in the position to experience each other. You are always with someone else or in the wrong place at the wrong time. It is still nice to know they are there where you can be friends and know someone else cares for you.

Soul mates appearing in my life have shown me the truth of past lives. A lot of clients of mine that have nightmares and dreams that are problems in their lives are also dreaming about their soul mates. They have mental trauma occur about their past lives where they were separated or the other person died. It is the reason I stated that some soul mates appear in your life through past karma. It is because one or the other of you left something undone where you actually carried it over to the next lifetime. The two higher selves will join together to resolve the problems whether the soul mates are out of sync or not. It is because resolving the problems is the only way the two souls can experience and move on completely.

You can also have this occur between your soul and people you loved in any lifetime. I have met people that I knew immediately had been my sisters and brothers. Parents and other people I cared for in my life. I have seen this occur with clients who also know that something is needed to be done to resolve problems. It is when people have past life issues that affect their lives. Fear of water, dreams about war, evil people and any of variety of myriad problem dreams and visions can occur. The important thing is to realize you can attract the positive relationships in this life and resolve the undone business that is weighing upon your heart and soul.

The spiritual bonding between soul mates makes it possible for you to attract each other through magical means. This may not happen quickly, but it can be done. The reason that you can draw your soul mate to you is because of the previous bonding. It is like your soul getting a long distance phone call. One soul is saying to the other “I'm here, come get me. I've been so lonely without you in my life.” The following spell will help bring your Soul Mate to you.

To draw your soul mate you will need the following items:
• 1 pink candle
• 1 bottle of good quality myrrh oil
• 1 empty picture frame

Take the pink candle and anoint it with the myrrh oil. You anoint a candle by putting myrrh oil on a cloth or a finger and rubbing the candle upward. You completely cover the top half of the candle by moving the cloth or finger upward. You then use the myrrh oil to cover the bottom half of the candle by rubbing downward. Put myrrh oil on the tip of your finger. Then put your fingertip on the center of your forehead, and rub the oil into the skin. Repeat this, and carry out the following ritual, every night for seven days before sleeping at night. You can keep repeating the spell until you find your soul mate. I have seen people draw their soul mate immediately. It took me seven years of doing this spell on and off. I knew he was my soul mate because I saw him in my dreams after I did the spell.

"I ask for you to come to me
I draw you by the bonds of our past lives and love
Show me your image and who you be
Come to me, come to me, come to me"

Now put out the candle and sit in the dark visualizing the image of your loved one appearing in the picture frame.

I have known a few people who find that their soul mate is a three-month-old baby or a ninety-year-old person, and they are in their twenties. It doesn’t matter if you can’t find happiness and bond with another soul mate or with a soul that is compatible with you. It just means there’s more work for you to do on yourself before you will find someone. The most constant thing in the universe is Love and it is letting it into your life that is important.

We all learn from the good and bad things that happen to us. Love is something that is beautiful. But living and bonding with someone, especially a soul mate, can be hard work. The way to make things work is to treat the other person in the same way as you would like to be treated yourself, e.g., “To love one another, and to do unto others as you would be done by.”

You will find that a soul mate is the one person that will always be there for you. They are the people, as all the movies show, who will go to any length to aid and find their loved one. The rewards of finding a soul mate are beautiful and will last through many lifetimes. One person can be at a different spiritual and mental level, but each of them will still learn from each other. Sometimes one soul progresses quicker than the other. If ever a soul mate is abusive then you should realize that you have done as much for them as you are meant to do. People sometimes mistake a person with a karmic tie as a soul mate. Working off the shared karma releases you from bad situations. But such a partner has to agree to grow with you and change. It is for the higher good of each of you to finish things up and move onward. You will then remove acceptance of abuse from your future lifetimes.

The soul mate for you always helps and supports you through the stages of your life. You both grow and are rewarded by the love, caring, and effort put into each other’s life. It doesn't mean that you won't have blockages, troubles, and problems to overcome. It does mean that you will always know that there is another soul and person who loves you.

Nita Hickok (c)2004

Author's Bio: 

Nita Hickok is an interfaith minister, and has been trained in two Mystery Schools. I am a demonologist, ceremonial and ritual magician, hermetic magician, earth magician. I have been an exorcist for 39 years and have completed over 100 exorcisms. I am an author, and spiritual counselor
My blog is astralhealer.blogspot.com