SPIRITUAL PEACE PIPE ENDS BATTLE OF THE WILLS PEACEFULLY

Angelic Quote: “Conversing with One Another, Are We Speaking to be Heard Or, Bringing Value from Our Spoken Word?”

Hostility Breeds Volatility Which Can Manifest Into Disability. This is my story. My first conflict happened at the age of 4, when I was dragged into a house and held at knife-point by a 10-year old boy who asked me a question in a complete rage and, in his opinion, I did not answer it correctly, for fear of being harmed. I screamed at the top of my lungs to my 4-year old girlfriend, who was outside and had seen what happened, to “get my Mom”, who was right next door in our house where we lived, and Mom came running over and rescued me. Thank You, Mom! From that point forward I made an unconscious decision to be quiet and never engage in conflict.

Many of us have heard the phrases regarding conflict “Take No Prisoners” or “Avoid Conflict At All Cost”. I am definitely in the last category and this has led to many of my disabilities, by not dealing with conflict in a healthy manner. I do believe there is another statement that could be used about conflict and that is “Conflict – None, Peace – Won”. This does not mean there is no conflict to deal with, but by coming from a spiritual place, using accountable and respectful language, listening attentively, and staying “on track” with the actual subject matter, conflict can be resolved in a peaceful manner. Being a spiritual person, I have always thought I was being the “bigger person” by remaining quiet during an argument, not expressing any of my feelings, but wanting to explode inside. This has not been a positive approach or produced a constructive resolution to conflict for me.

Conflict may not always relate to the actual subject matter being argued over, but an underlying current of something totally unrelated that may have been churning in our mind or heart for some time. Things may be said that can never be taken back. Miscommunication happens very quickly and without warning, which may leave a demoralizing impact on the individuals involved. Misunderstandings can cause emotional impairment which may be “long lasting” and can be very hard to “bounce back” from. “Letting things roll off our back” and “forgiving and forgetting” may or may not be achieved, but I have found that for my spiritual peace of mind and growth, it is beneficial to accomplish this.

During my life, I have had several conversations with people, some close to me, some not, some in person, some not, which have led to miscommunication, creating misunderstandings. As part of my spiritual healing process, I am choosing to use the following “Spiritual Peace Pipe” principles to have peaceful discussions, deterring any potential conflict, which is resulting in a positive outcome for me. When I do this, I feel spiritually alive and empowered.

L. – LISTEN: Listen to what is being said, allow the mind to be quiet, not having its own conversation going on while the other person is speaking. Stay open and receptive to what is being said. It is imperative that each person, while speaking, is not interrupted. Refrain from judgment. By showing disinterest or being occupied with planning an immediate “attack” retort, the focus of the conversation will be lost. Keep focused on the subject at hand.

A – ASSESS: Assess the conversation with the 4 W’s – Who, What, Where and When.
Who is the person delivering the message? The person delivering the message will be coming from their own frame of reference and experience, and their own translation and interpretation will become part of their delivery. At any point, if feeling unsettled, clarify what is being heard so that a potential misunderstanding that could evolve into a huge “volcano” never erupts. Always use the “I” language, starting each sentence with “I”, (I Feel, I Know, I Believe, I Understand, I Disagree, etc.) so you can “own” your experience and not make someone else wrong for your experience. This is very difficult to do when the divisive line has already been “drawn in the sand” and there is ambiguity about where “You” and “I” start and end.

What is being said? I have found through my recent conversations that what was being said and what I heard were not even in the same “ballpark”. I discovered this through reiterating to the other person what I had heard them say and I was told that was not at all what they said. After a very short dialogue we were both able to see how simple words through translation and interpretation became the fuse for conflict and how our own context around the words led to the miscommunication and misunderstanding.

Where is the conversation taking place? Is this communication happening in the appropriate place and if it is already in the “battle zone” agree, if possible, to have the conversation in another location. If it is known that a conversation is going to be contentious from the start, then have it in “neutral” territory. If the conversation starts out amicable but becomes explosive, then it is imperative to lay down your “weapon of words” and let the combustion of the fire die down. Agree to continue the discussion when both parties can be more amicable and receptive, as nothing gets resolved peacefully in the middle of a “Battle of the Wills”.

When is the conversation occurring? Ask the other person if this is a good time to talk? Are the people involved tired, stressed, unhappy, feeling challenged, wanting to blame someone for the situation, or looking for a verbal fight from the outset? Again, a reminder that if the conversation starts out amicable but veers off in a “negative” tangent, be the first to lay down your “weapon of words” and change the subject. If necessary, withdraw physically from the environment.

D –DIFFUSE: As a Spiritual Person, Be the Bigger Person and Diffuse the Conflict as Soon as Possible. As part of the “growing pains” we experience on our Life Path, it is necessary to take ownership of how and what we say. Tone of voice, body language and facial expressions all contribute to a peaceful or combative outcome of any potential conflicting communication. When understanding, compassion and consideration are bestowed on the other person involved in the conversation, the energy shifts, changing the atmosphere, allowing positive transformation to occur within the dialogue.

Y – YOU: You are the constant in all of your communications. No matter who you speak with, or what the subject matter is, you bring you to the conversation. Trust yourself to know that whatever message you are hearing from whomever, at whatever moment, is exactly what you are meant to be hearing. It is up to you to discard anything that is not of value to you. If negative feelings are stirred up, then this is an opportunity to stand in your own power and Know Your Truth. No one else is you, only you. There will never be another you having your experience. The power is within you to claim Your Own Truth. You are here to experience, learn and grow spiritually. Everyone you meet on your Life Path will give you an opportunity to become a bigger and better person, if you so choose.
 
As Spiritual Beings we can all “Play Fair in the Sandbox”, to achieve the end result of “Conflict – None, Peace – Won”!

From My Heart to Yours,
Angel Blessings,
Brenda Rachel, Humanity With Heart
www.brendarachel4angels.com