Mediation, by nature and definition, bridges the emotional gulf that can exist between couples, both during and after a divorce. The need to assess priorities, explore opinions, and achieve compromises requires mediators to learn as much as possible about their client’s current relationship with each other so that both parties feel they are being heard and understood. Because the ultimate goal of mediation is mutual satisfaction with the settlement agreement, a good mediator has to listen, understand, and interpret the wide variety of emotions every couple brings to mediation.

Losing someone you once loved through divorce is not quick or sudden. It is a long and agonizing process and a good mediator can help you understand the process and see the light at the end of the tunnel. Understanding just how you feel and what you want for your life is hard for many estranged spouses. You wonder just where things went wrong and examine your reactions to stress and conflict. The degree to which you react and how you function under this stress may determine whether or not you need therapy. One good thing to know is that many mediators work or have professional relationships with life coaches and therapists to assist their clients with the emotional part of the divorce. These resources can prove invaluable, and not only heal lives, but improve relationships between spouses and children.

With a skilled mediator in place, the causes for divorce come to the surface and allow each party to accept responsibility and move past mistakes and emotional injuries. Designing a workable divorce agreement is the end product of the discussions and conversations you will have with your mediator. But when all is said and done, and you're ready to move on, you are still adjusting to life as a newly single person. It is among the hardest challenges anyone can face. However when you are divorced through mediation, parental relationships remain intact, this making it much easier to move on after the divorce is finalized.

Coming to terms with the loss of a marriage is not something that automatically happens when your divorce is finalized. When you choose a litigated divorce, you will get with it a lot of anger and regret when you are done with the process. However, with a mediated divorce, though there still may be some anger and regret, it will be a lot less than with a litigated divorce. Having this emotional capital is the first step to opening new chapters of your life.

The many resources available to you through mediation make a divorce more peaceful, and in a way friendlier, than a litigated one because having supportive professionals available during and after the mediation process can help you grow from the experience and move on with confidence and resolve. During the initial stages of divorce it is easy to assume that you'll never feel good again, but with wise choices and sound guidance, you will be able to meet the challenges of starting over after divorce with dignity and self confidence.

Author's Bio: 

Brian James is a mediator with C.E.L. and Associates, a mediation, therapy, and coaching services firm with offices throughout Chicagoland and Southeastern Wisconsin. Learn more about the advantages of mediation and co mediation in Illinois for divorce at Visit our blog for information tips, trends, and advice on mediation and divorce at