The last few hours have been so much fun! Two girlfriends have been out for the afternoon; it has been filled with shopping and laughter. Now, sitting across a table from her best friend at their favorite restaurant, June makes an unconscious gesture that sabotages her friend’s goal. Her friend is just five pounds away from her lowest weight in years and June orders her best friend’s favorite dessert and two spoons.

“Come on, just one bite will not hurt.” “You deserve it.” “You are wasting away.” “I can’t eat all of this and it is your favorite.”

Some gestures are more subtle, but the message is the same. Unconsciously, June is afraid. She is happy for her girlfriend, yet deep inside, these thoughts creep in, “I don't’ like it that you are in control and losing weight.”,“I can’t do what you just did.”, and “When you reach your goal how does that affect our relationship?”

Thoughts of resentment, confusion and betrayal sneak into her friend’s consciousness. “If she loved me, she would not do this to me.” “Why would she order my favorite desert when she knows I am so close to my goal?”

June evil? Doubtful.

Whether the sabotage is from a friend, relative, co-worker or from our own subconscious mind, it boils down to staying in our comfort zones. Change is scary. It is scarier to others around us. Even if we don’t intend it to, our success (at anything) may change our relationships.

Your success implies I am a failure because I can’t or don’t want to change. Your success forces me to look at myself and the inner workings of my mind. I may have to fix something or bring something up that is painful.

Those around you are not feeling safe. They are feeling afraid about how your weight loss will affect them.

This is not done consciously. Rather, it seeps in from a subconscious place of fear.

Allow for their fear and know they love you and want to be with you. Regain your resolve. Reassure them of your friendship.

Share the dessert or say, “You know what, I think you are amazing but I am good right now.”

Vickie Griffith
Moving Women From Hurt to Healing
Speaker (NSP), Certified Hypnotist, EFT Practitioner

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Author's Bio: 

Vickie is nationally respected as the Tap Instructor, assisting you to tap into the power within to realize your brilliance in your life, business and health. She is a speaker, Certified Hypnotist, EFT Expert. She creates a contagious energy as she speaks, coaches, and conducts workshops.