Have you ever been diagnosed by someone as untrustworthy? Perhaps, they doubted you or your motives? Maybe they questioned something you did or said. These are not the people who have valid reasons for not trusting you but those who have simply misunderstood you. You don’t mean them any harm but, for some reason, they perceive you as a threat.

For our protection, we each have a built-in radar. We automatically notice body language and voice tone. We compare words to actions. If we decide someone is using us to get what they want, we tend to resist. We doubt their motives as we review everything they do, every request they make, and every action they take through our mental filter. We even begin to look for more actions to justify our impression of them. If we’re not careful, after a very short while, we will only look for evidence that further convicts them of only look out for their own well-being. The more evidence we find, the more we filter. Eventually, it becomes extremely difficult for that person to change our perception of them.

When your team, organization or business thinks you’re only looking-out-for-number-one, they withhold energy and commitment. They have even adopted your mentality and believe that they must look out for themselves. They don’t trust that you will look out for them. Loss of trust creates an immense obstacle for your group’s performance. This lack of trust creates friction. Friction, of course, opposes the creation of a healthy, vibrant, and successful team. It creates heat any time you try to get something done. Left alone long enough, your team will become more and more dysfunctional and will eventually lock up from the heat and wear and tear.

Trust eases all relationships and service to others creates trust. Leaders who serve their team find that their service strengthens their relationships and frees everyone up to do their best. When your people feel that they are being looked out for, they are free to give everything their best effort. Like a golfer with a grip that’s just too tight, tension reduces freedom of movement and hampers performance. Service creates room for coworkers to relax and do their best -- all of the moving parts remain cool. Service reduces fear and friction and enables relationships to grow. Many people who feel cared for also feel free to care for others.

Sensing friction in your relationships? Serve your people and oil the gears of the team. You’ll see tremendous benefit from even the small things. Fill in for them on a painful task or sacrifice something for them and you will break the tension. Serving others gives them the assurance that they’re going to win. You can’t have a win-win situation unless your stakeholders win.

Author's Bio: 

Mike Henry is the founder and Chief Instigator of The Lead Change Group. Known nationally as a character-based leadership coach and committed leader, Mike’s passion is helping leaders grow leaders. He believes that leaders exercise their influence and skills at any position or level in an organization and knows that every organization needs leaders to own their performance and make the organization competitive. Additionally, Mike enjoys mobilizing people and communities to apply character-based leadership to make a positive difference. To become involved with The Lead Change Group, visit http://leadchangegroup.com.