Transforming Childhood

For many of us, the coping skills we are currently using as adults are based on the skills we learned from our parents, family members, and other adults when we were children. And, the manner to which our parents learned to cope is based primarily on their lives with their parents. As children, we listen to our parents and other adults, without questioning their beliefs, or even realizing we had beliefs of our own. The manner in which our parents or other family members reacted to situations, directly affects the way we may handle situations today. If parents or adults were calm and rational during a crisis, perhaps our coping styles are similar. If however our parent(s) or another adult(s) reacted in hysterical or anxious manner, chances are, we may react in similar ways. Actually we use both strategies, at different times, based on our filters and the programs running.

It is realistic to consider most children, on some level, are somewhat afraid of adults or authority figures. Children are also somewhat fearful of the rules and roles imposed on them by adults without realizing that they too made choices related to the matter. The limitations we learned or demonstrated in childhood suggest in part, that now as adults why at times we are frustrated, confused and still frightened. For the most part, many adults are still relying on limiting beliefs learned or adopted in childhood because of not having learned other reliable skills.

As adults, we may still be trying to heal boo-boo’s and heartaches by using remedies based on what we learned long ago. We may also be trying to change past events by reacting in the same ways in which our parents responded. Childhood issues remain unresolved only because we never learned how to take responsibility for what we were holding in mind. And furthermore without realizing it, we are subconsciously holding onto negative patterns and still hoping to get a different result. We also never learned how to love ourselves fully and completely.

If we look closely, we can see that we basically have similar problems as to what we experienced as children, except on a larger scale. As adults, we may also still be trying to figure out what we are doing wrong. In truth the only thing that we are doing wrong is trying to resolve matters in the ways we learned as children. If we are feeling out of sorts about things, we may still have a tendency to turn to others to provide to us what we believe we are missing because this is what we did as children. We may also resort to things such as food or other substances, or rely on various forms of entertainment (TV, shopping, computer gaming, etc.) also in a means to feel better. What we discover is by looking to external sources never really gives us what we are hoping to receive.

The good news is we can change how we feel about childhood or past events, by making better decisions. By accepting that we can change how we feel about ourselves and past incidents is a tremendous first step forward. By learning to respond positively or to begin doing things in a slightly different way, we can easily and successfully start to overcome the challenges and frustrations related to our past or current circumstances.

In truth, it’s time to move forward, as we are no longer children. In letting go of beliefs or incidents from childhood, allows us to begin to find more effective ways in living life more enjoyably as an adult. Only you can decide to make a better life for yourself. Decide today and give yourself permission to experience improved outcomes. You’ve waited long enough… Transforming childhood begins with an attitude of “I can!”