People look at you and think you’ve got it all together. You have a life that many envy, a career, relationship and the freedom to live an enjoyable life – or at least two out of the three. On the outside you’ve put on a great show. On the inside, not so much.

Behind the mask, you feel empty and alone. You have a nagging sense that something is missing. You’re seeking fulfillment in all the wrong places: excessive shopping, yet another cosmetic surgical nip and tuck, over-eating, or meaningless sex. You’re complaining and blaming other people and trying to make your life as dramatic as Lindsay Lohan’s Twitter feed just so you can feel something, but nothing works.

You don’t know who you are – you’re not sure you ever knew. Perhaps you worry you’ve lost touch with your real self forever. All you know is what to wear and how to act and the right way to do everything. You know how to get approval. Shape shifting enough to be accepted by your tribe used to be all that mattered to you.

You’ve twisted yourself so much that your insides look like a pretzel. The natural flow of what feeds your soul is choked to barely a trickle. The only way to nourish yourself is to realign yourself with who you are and what you want – no matter what anyone else thinks!

Here are 3 Steps to Discover and Get What You Really Want

1. 1. In any situation in you life that isn’t working for you ask yourself how you would like it to be. How would this circumstance have to change in order for you to feel excited, energized, inspired – fulfilled? Write your answer down. Writing answers down engages different parts of your brain than when you just think.

For example, if you are bored or frustrated in you work write down how you would like your work environment to become. How would it have to be in order for you to get the inner satisfaction you long for.

2. Write down what you would have to do, what you would have to change, in order for you to get what you want in that situation. This is about you, not anyone else. Focus upon what YOU would have to do rather than what other people would have to do or change. You cannot change anyone else.

3. As in the above example, how would you have to change how you show up? How you think, speak and act - in your work to change your daily experience to mirror what you want it to be. You have the absolute power to change how you experience your day even if you cannot change the events. If your workplace will never become a mirror image of what you want, what steps are you willing to take to find another position that does match what you want.

3. Take action. Once you are clear on what you really want and how to achieve it get off your butt and do something to make it happen. Even if all you can do each day is take one tiny baby step in towards that goal, do it. Each step, however small, will get you closer and closer to filling the empty chasm within.

Struggle comes when there is an inner disconnection in the energy flow of your authentic greatness. Reclaim your truth. Own your power. Command your stage. When you do, you ROC!

Author's Bio: 

Valery is a Mentor, Coach & Author who provides an all in one toolkit and training course that give you the necessary tools and information to get over the unique challenges that come from success, fame and fortune. Championing those who have or aspire fame and/or fortune to maximize their potential is her calling. She's fully prepared to engage clients with her experience, extensive training, certifications. For more information please visit