Unhappy Marriage With Kids: Staying In A Loveless Marriage Because Of Your Children

A broken house is the last thing a child needs. Children need the protection and shelter of their parents to live a healthy life. Without parents, their life cannot be the same. You might have noticed that the wrongdoing children are from broken homes. They indulge in illegal things and ruin their lives. Drugs, theft, bunking, drinking are common signs of children that are suffering from broken homes. This means that the responsibility of the future of the children is upon the parents. You can save your marriage just for the sake of your children.

Here are a few tips that will help you in saving your marriage!

The first thing you have to do is admit that there is a problem between you and husband or wife; you have to accept this fact because without it you cannot go any further. This is the heart breaking point for many people but if you want to set things right you have to see that. If you do not start to acknowledge it, than it might be too late for your marriage to continue any further. If you ignore your problems, then you will notice that your children are watching everything. They know that there is a problem. Moreover, divorce is always not the best solution.

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The best way to make things right is by communication. Talk to your husband or wife and try to figure out where things went wrong. Talk to each other, listen so that you will discover your faults, and tell your spouse his faults. One end can never be wrong, you both are in this together and you have to figure this out yourself. Think of possible solutions that you and your spouse think that will help your marriage. However, most importantly is to think about your children when you are debating your marriage's future.

Go and see a marriage counselor if you have to, but save your marriage. The counselor will help you analyze your problems and then she or he will tell you possible solutions. The advices will be worth it and you can rely on them to save the marriage. Think of the love that you two shared and felt for each other. Instead of thinking about the bad times think of the good ones that will let you see the happy side of your marriage. You can be sure that your marriage was never this bad.

Last but not the least; keep faith in your marriage and in God. The more faith you have the better will be the chances of your marriage's survival. Pray and think about the betterment of your children. Think what would happen to them if you and your husband got divorced. A child can easily go into shock or depression after separation of their parents. Keep your optimism alive so that no negativity can enter your marriage or your mind. Keep these things in mind and you will definitely be able to save the marriage for love and affection for your children.

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When your marriage is failing, either you or your spouse may fall into destructive patterns that are reflected on how you deal with each other. Either of you can get physical or nag all the time because you feel it's the only way you can let your spouse listen and see your point. If this is happening in your marriage now, you are in a total mess. You are not only hurting each other but you are ruining your marriage. These actions cannot be negotiated; it must be put to a halt if you want to stay married.

Neither of you can justify these actions by just saying this is me. Your destructive attitude is the result of unresolved issues from the past that have accumulated through time. But must you really linger on the ugly things of have been and ruin your marriage? Keep in mind that words can hurt worse than a real wound and it leaves scars that take longer time to heal. And hurting your spouse can just widen the gap that has torn your marriage apart.

If you want to know how to save your marriage, these damaging actions must be avoided at all cost.

Undependable Spouse and Breaking One's Promises

You think that just because you two are already married, it is OK to break your promises? If you have made a promise but you can't keep it, be honest and say so. It is better to be honest that let your spouse expect so much only to be disappointed over and over again. When you say you will, you must. A lifetime commitment means sharing a life with someone who you can depend on from simplest to big things because it matters. Remember that trust is built over time and you wouldn't want your spouse to lose trust in you. Letting your spouse down and not keeping your word sends the wrong signal of indifference on your part and will damage your marriage.

Physical and / or Emotional Abuse on Your Spouse

You and your spouse share a life but you don't own your spouse. Maybe the use of foul language or treating your spouse like a slave is normal, but the reality is it is not. Physically and verbally abusing your spouse and maybe even your children may bring your marriage to an end. There's a limit to anyone's patience and tolerance. Do not be surprised if one day your spouse cannot take it anymore and just break away from you and the marriage. If you want to work things out and stay married, you must seek counseling if you tend to be in any manner abusive.

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

Putting Romance Aside

So many changes can happen in all the years that you are married but that must not include your affection and love for each other. If you don't talk about each other's expectations on romance, affection, or even sex, it will hurt your relationship. You do not need to wait for special occasions to express your love and appreciation towards your spouse. Romanticism is not exclusive for dating couples alone. You can be romantic everyday of your lives if you would just make an effort to be one. Hold hands when you are watching or hug when your spouse least expects it are just simple ways to be romantic. But its effect is a feeling of being wanted again.

Unwillingness or Inability to Forgive

Whether you are the aggrieved spouse or the aggressor, you have to forgive your spouse and yourself from any mistake. Failure to do so will harm both your physical health, emotional health, and your marriage. Resentments from betrayals and past mistakes will only tear your worlds apart and your love for your spouse may slowly die. To forgive does not mean you have to forget or overlook hurtful actions. But it would benefit both of you and your marriage if you will not let stubbornness and vengeful thoughts and acts end what could be fixed. Do not waste your time and effort looking back at past disappointments, insensitivity, anger, and other negative thoughts. Nothing will be achieved with this but bitterness and hate. Instead, focus on what can you do to get over any trial and learn to forgive.

Declining to Converse or Listen with Spouse

If you will shut your spouse off your life, thoughts, and feelings, you might as well have not married in the first place. But since you have your spouse to take part in your outlooks and thoughts, you must both listen and talk with each other. When you decline the willingness of your spouse to share and listen with you, you are turning away from putting back mental and emotional intimacy or maybe even physical intimacy with your spouse. It is very easy to say what is in your mind but what is in your heart is really important in order to keep the communication line open. When both of you can manage to do this, you will be in the right track in saving your marriage.

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Jealousy and Lack of Trust

While a little and occasional jealousy can put a little mystery and spark to your married life, too much of it can suffocate your spouse. Irrational jealousy is one way that can surely drive either of the spouses away. Your inability to trust your spouse's fidelity might even result to spying which can really be dangerous and ruin the marriage. If you cannot acknowledge your jealousy or change your attitude, you have best seek professional counseling to address this issue.

Whether you have been married for a few years, a decade or more, you must always remember that both of you have feelings and individuality that you must learn to respect. When respect is lost, one or both will realize too late that you fell into a pothole of negativity. You will see that all you ever do are damaging actions. These damaging actions can do nothing but harm a marriage. Learn to avoid those actions to stay in a healthy marriage.

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Do you want to know how to save your troubled marriage? Don't worry. You are not alone in this situation. It is a fact that people decided to end their relationships every day. Believe it or not, approximately one in two marriages will end up with getting a divorce.

However, you don't have to be one of them. If you really want to save your troubled marriage, it is never too late to do that, even if your partner doesn't want to do the same as well. Well, the first thing you need to do is to try to find out what the real problem is. The problems in your relationship can be caused by many factors, but if you don't know where to start, then I'm going to tell you about some of the most common problems that usually happen in the marriage life.

- Losing interest in each other is considered to be the big problem that needs to be taken care of as soon as possible if you want to save your troubled marriage. Even this is considered to be a natural part of the relationship, but there are many things that you can do to fall in love with each other again.

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- Financial problem is considered to be another big problem in the relationship. It is a fact that many couples are trying to get a divorce because of this matter. There is a high possibility that both you and your partner cannot be happy when money is tight, and finally, the two of you will end up with a serious argument. So, if you want to save your troubled marriage, this factor must not be ignored.

- It is almost one hundred percent that your marriage life will end up with a divorce if you are not faithful with your partner or the other way around. If this situation happens, it is very difficult to trust each other again. The relationship will be in trouble if the two of you cannot trust each other. However, it is not easy to save your troubled marriage in the situation like this, but it is possible to fix the problem. If you know the right steps and you are willing to take them, then there is no reason for you to give up right now.

Have you ever stayed awake at night stressing about whether or not your marriage will last... and what you can possibly do to save it?

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Author's Bio: 

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