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Articles from Janet Pfeiffer | Selfgrowth.com
- The BLAME Game - by Submitted on Nov 16, 2016 from Janet PfeifferWhen something goes wrong in your life, who do you blame? “I’m in so much debt because the economy is bad and everything is so expensive. It’s not my fault” “My mother always criticized me when I was a child. That’s why I suffer from low self esteem and make so many bad choices.” Sadly, ...
Views: 1630 - A NIGHT AT THE RACES - by Submitted on Nov 09, 2016 from Janet PfeifferWhen I was younger I must have fallen asleep for twenty years like Rip Van Winkle. Then when I awoke, somewhere in adulthood, I noticed a most unusual evolving phenomenon: in a world where only two distinct races existed (black and white) there were now Hispanics, Asians, Latinos, and others. ...
Views: 1311 - L~A~V~S~S METHOD: 5 KEYS TO RESOLVE CONFLICT - by Submitted on Nov 02, 2016 from Janet PfeifferKeeping our disagreements from becoming full-blown fights can be challenging. Many times, we're so passionate about our beliefs or what we want to do that any form of opposition causes us to become frustrated and angry. We may prefer that others simply agree with our position or if they don't to ...
Views: 1655 - WHEN ANGER MANAGEMENT DOESN'T WORK - by Submitted on Oct 26, 2016 from Janet PfeifferI've been teaching anger management and conflict resolution for nearly a quarter of a century. What makes me so successful in my work is that I do not lecture on any subject matter that I haven't personally experienced and mastered. In that regard, people find me authentic and know that if I've ...
Views: 1387 - Anger: The Bigger Picture - by Submitted on Oct 12, 2016 from Janet PfeifferHave you ever found yourself in a situation that was somewhat confusing, uncomfortable or perhaps even dangerous? Sometimes it's hard to understand why things happen or why we must participate in particular activities. We don't often understand why certain people enter our lives or why they ...
Views: 1308 - ANGER AND POWER: THE CONNECTION - by Submitted on Oct 05, 2016 from Janet PfeifferWe all seek to be powerful. I'm not speaking necessarily about having authority over others but we certainly want to have control over our own lives. Yet even the most well-intentioned, enlightened person wants to control a particular situation or individual at times. Certainly, parents impose ...
Views: 1319 - RIOTING IN N. CAROLINA - by Submitted on Sep 28, 2016 from Janet PfeifferRecently a 43 year old man and father of seven, Keith Lamont Scott, was killed by police in Charlotte, NC. As is often the case, there are conflicting reports as to what actually happened. Currently, an investigation by a separate state agency is taking place to determine if this shooting was ...
Views: 1202 - DEAL WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE USING C~U~R~B~APPEAL - by Submitted on Sep 21, 2016 from Janet PfeifferWe all have challenging people in our lives yet unfortunately few of us have been properly trained in how to effectively deal with them. Well, that's going to change today. In no particular order, using the an acronym "C~U~R~B Appeal", you will learn tips that will better enable you to get ...
Views: 1839 - Never Allow This To Happen To You! - by Submitted on Sep 14, 2016 from Janet PfeifferWe're all influenced by those around us and by what is occurring in our lives. Something as simple as the weather can affect how we feel. A cloudy, rainy day can take an otherwise cheerful person and transform them into a gloomy Gus of sorts. Being stuck in traffic can alter one's mood from ...
Views: 1420 - LIVING IN THE PAST HAS IT'S PERKS - by Submitted on Aug 31, 2016 from Janet PfeifferI think the majority of people would agree that it's unhealthy to live in the past. After all, we're all familiar with the new age philosophy, "Yesterday is History, Tomorrow a Mystery, Today is a Gift, That's why it's called the Present". Living in the past holds us back from being able to ...
Views: 1224 - The Anger Exchange: Give Up These 7 to Gain This Instead - by Submitted on Aug 24, 2016 from Janet PfeifferIf you've read my book, The Secret Side o f Anger, or attended one of my lectures on the topic, you know that while there are thousands of events that can trigger anger, there are actually only three root causes: hurt, fear, and frustration. In any given circumstance, you can trace anger back to ...
Views: 1311 - 7 TIBETAN STEPS TO LASTING JOY - by Submitted on Aug 17, 2016 from Janet PfeifferThere is something about the country of Tibet that has always intrigued me. Perhaps it's the beautiful landscape along crystal blue waters or the unique architecture of its oriental style buildings. Or more importantly a group of monks that call this country their home are known for their serene ...
Views: 1797 - Anger and the 2 "F" Words - by Submitted on Aug 10, 2016 from Janet PfeifferNo, I'm not speaking about that "F" word. I'm going to address two different words beginning with the letter "f" and how they influence the decisions we make, our responses in any given situation, and how the outcome adds to or subtracts from our happiness and/or contributes to our anger. Those ...
Views: 1435 - You Can't Ruin My Day - by Submitted on Aug 03, 2016 from Janet PfeifferHave you ever gotten out of bed in the morning declaring that today was going to be a great day? And before your first cup of coffee, something happened that completely ruined everything? Perhaps your child woke up sick or the car wouldn't start or your boss calls you to let you know that ...
Views: 1281(1 vote) - Anger: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly - by Submitted on Jul 27, 2016 from Janet PfeifferAs a child I was taught that anger was a bad emotion but I've have since come to understand that there are no bad feelings. All emotions have purpose and value as they teach us about ourselves based on how we react to external events. We assign value to each depending on how people act them out. ...
Views: 1610 - 10 Tips to Diffuse a Volatile Situation - by Submitted on Jul 20, 2016 from Janet PfeifferWe are living in a very volatile and dangerous age. Not only have issues of domestic violence, child and animal abuse, anger in the workplace and so on been more apparent, but we are definitely witnessing a rise of violence within our communities. Gangs and individual assaults seem to be taking ...
Views: 3313 - THIS HIDDEN SECRET WILL TRANSFORM YOUR RELATIONSHIP - by Submitted on Jul 13, 2016 from Janet PfeifferWith the exception of impersonators, most people believe that they only have one voice. That voice is used to express one's feelings and needs. It can be vocalized either loudly or softly; it's tone can change from one of sarcasm to that of compassion; one's voice can be used to express ...
Views: 1107(1 vote) - What To Do About Annoying People? - by Submitted on Jul 06, 2016 from Janet PfeifferI'd venture to say that everyone of us has had to deal with annoying people at some point in our lives. Whether it's a family member who is in everyone's business, a coworker who continually needs your assistance, the know-it-alls who always have to be right or a friend who talks incessantly, ...
Views: 1216(1 vote) - Preventing Another Orlando Massacre - by Submitted on Jun 22, 2016 from Janet PfeifferLast week our country was shattered by yet another senseless massacre of innocent people. A gunman opened fire inside Pulse, a crowded gay nightclub in Orlando, Florida, early Sunday morning, leaving at least 49 people dead in the worst mass shooting in modern U.S. history. Gays have long been ...
Views: 1465 - "AR You Ready to Reduce Anger in Your Relationships?" - by Submitted on Jun 15, 2016 from Janet PfeifferRelationships are the most challenging aspect of life whether personal, professional, casual or intimate. Even with those we love deeply, such as family members, getting along can prove challenging. Consider this: more than half of all American families are estranged from one another due in part ...
Views: 1383 - An In-Depth Look at Anger - by Submitted on Jun 08, 2016 from Janet PfeifferAccording to psychologist Charles Speilberger, Ph.D who specializes in the study of anger, “Anger is an emotional state that varies from mild irritation to intense fury and rage. It's accompanied by physiological, psychological and biological changes. When you get angry, your heart rate and ...
Views: 1199 - Emotioanl Intelligence and Anger - by Submitted on May 25, 2016 from Janet PfeifferIn 1995, author, psychologist, and science journalist, Daniel Goleman, wrote a book entitled, Emotional Intelligence which made its way to The New York Times bestseller list for a year-and-a-half. It was a relatively new concept designed to assist companies in determining which characteristics ...
Views: 1284 - Emotioanl Intelligence and Anger - by Submitted on May 25, 2016 from Janet PfeifferIn 1995, author, psychologist, and science journalist, Daniel Goleman, wrote a book entitled, Emotional Intelligence which made its way to The New York Times bestseller list for a year-and-a-half. It was a relatively new concept designed to assist companies in determining which characteristics ...
Views: 1278 - Anger: Incident or Issue? - by Submitted on May 18, 2016 from Janet PfeifferIn the years that I facilitated my support group for estranged families, I primarily worked with older parents whose adult children had severed their relationship with them. The parents were perplexed: "I was a good parent", they declared. "I gave my children the best of everything. There is no ...
Views: 1461 - Lose Your Temper For Good! - by Submitted on May 11, 2016 from Janet PfeifferI've had many clients over the years request my help in teaching them how to control their tempers. "I lose my temper and afterwards feel terrible. I don't want to do this anymore. I need to learn how to control my temper." My response to them is this, "If you lose your keys you seek to find ...
Views: 1374(1 vote) - Anger and Disease: the Connection and Remedies - by Submitted on May 07, 2016 from Janet PfeifferThere is no denying that the mind, body, and spirit are all interconnected. What impacts one affects all others. While the general public has become more health conscious in terms of eating healthier, dropping those unnecessary pounds, and exercising more, what often gets overlooked - that ...
Views: 1419 - 14 Common Reasons We Get Angry and Their Solutions - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2016 from Janet PfeifferWhile conducting research for today's show, I found fourteen of the most common reasons people get angry. Keep in mind, these are only the triggers. Outside circumstances are never the actual cause. There are three root causes - hurt, fear, and frustration - that prompt anger in us. Let's ...
Views: 1651 - 14 Common Reasons We Get Angry and Their Solutions - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2016 from Janet PfeifferWhile conducting research for today's show, I found fourteen of the most common reasons people get angry. Keep in mind, these are only the triggers. Outside circumstances are never the actual cause. There are three root causes - hurt, fear, and frustration - that prompt anger in us. Let's ...
Views: 1536 - Winning Arguments Through Non-Resistance - by Submitted on Apr 20, 2016 from Janet PfeifferWhen disagreements arise there is always the possibility that they will escalate into an argument or fight. The very nature of dissension triggers feelings of uneasiness in the average person. Most of us struggle with some degree of insecurity. Contradictory ideas, needs, beliefs, ways of doing ...
Views: 1784 - Winning Arguments Through Non-Resistance - by Submitted on Apr 20, 2016 from Janet PfeifferWhen disagreements arise there is always the possibility that they will escalate into an argument or fight. The very nature of dissension triggers feelings of uneasiness in the average person. Most of us struggle with some degree of insecurity. Contradictory ideas, needs, beliefs, ways of doing ...
Views: 1784 - 3 R's That Mend Broken Relationships - by Submitted on Apr 13, 2016 from Janet PfeifferRelationships can be challenging, each with its own unique set of issues. Whether on the job with co workers who can at times be condescending, to social encounters with individuals who are overly critical, to our most personal relationships with family members who deeply offend us with hurtful ...
Views: 1875 - D~U~C~A~P Method of Dealing With a Difficult Person - by Submitted on Apr 06, 2016 from Janet PfeifferWe could all use a few suggestions for dealing with those difficult coworkers, obnoxious family members, or challenging neighbors that find their way into our lives. Some really know how to push our buttons and bring out the worst in us; others are stubborn or opinionated; still others can be ...
Views: 1579 - Addressing the Primary Sources of Conflict - by Submitted on Mar 30, 2016 from Janet PfeifferConflict is a normal, healthy, and useful part of life. At its simplest, it means there is a disagreement or difference of opinion between two or more individuals. In life we can identify two types of conflict: internal and external. Internal conflict, the root issue causing discomfort and the ...
Views: 1486 - More Advantageous Than Anger - by Submitted on Mar 30, 2016 from Janet PfeifferAnger is a very powerful emotion which many conclude is a bad feeling. Whether one chooses to use it in a constructive manner or in a hostile way, it carries a lot of punch (figuratively speaking, of course). As you become angry your body's muscles tense up. Inside your brain, neurotransmitter ...
Views: 1306 - What the Bible Says About Anger - by Submitted on Mar 16, 2016 from Janet PfeifferDating back over 3500 years, the Bible began as a collection of oral stories handed down from generation to generation in the form of songs, narratives, and poetry. Eventually signs and symbols were utilized in a more permanent means of recording these stories until the written word became the ...
Views: 1407 - Bully Politicians and What We Must Learn From Them - by Submitted on Mar 09, 2016 from Janet PfeifferIf you've been following the presidential debates, you are well aware of the bullying behaviors of some of our candidates. Gone are the days when politicians debated national and global issues. Shockingly, but not surprisingly, the debates have mutated into verbal warfare against each opponent. ...
Views: 1308 - Achieving Self-Compassion - by Submitted on Apr 11, 2016 from Janet PfeifferAt times, human beings can be incredibly compassionate towards one another. A family member going through a difficult time is encouraged to take extra care of themselves. A teen struggling with adolescent challenges is given support and encouragement. We offer our assistance to a neighbor who's ...
Views: 1473 - How to Change Without Changing (and why it's important) - by Submitted on Feb 24, 2016 from Janet PfeifferNot everyone likes change. Some are comfortable precisely where they are and prefer to stay within their comfort zone. Others are more adventurous and enjoy a good challenge. They are more open to trying new things in order to experience something new or perhaps to learn something that will ...
Views: 1600 - Your Best Defense Against Anger - by Submitted on Feb 17, 2016 from Janet PfeifferCheck out Webster's dictionary. Anger is defined as "a feeling of discomfort or displeasure brought about by feelings of helplessness and powerlessness." My personal definition of a victim is one who views themselves as having no power or authority. Many times, a victim will claim that in a ...
Views: 1253 - Your Best Defense Against Anger - by Submitted on Feb 17, 2016 from Janet PfeifferCheck out Webster's dictionary. Anger is defined as "a feeling of discomfort or displeasure brought about by feelings of helplessness and powerlessness." My personal definition of a victim is one who views themselves as having no power or authority. Many times, a victim will claim that in a ...
Views: 1302 - The Truth About Love, Hurt, and Anger - by Submitted on Feb 12, 2016 from Janet PfeifferWe're all familiar with the phrase, "love hurts". Too often, we take a witty cliché and assign truth to it. We then refer to it in times when it brings comfort, helps us to make a decision, or emphasizes a point. In reference to "love hurts", those who have been betrayed by someone they loved ...
Views: 1878 - 3 Must Have's That Resolve Conflicts - by Submitted on Feb 03, 2016 from Janet PfeifferConflict is a natural and even healthy aspect of life. It enables us to see another perspective of an issue, to creatively discuss and seek solutions to our differences, to learn to be open-minded and flexible, to practice the fine art of compromise or in some instances to graciously concede to ...
Views: 1487 - When Silence Isn't Golden - by Submitted on Jan 27, 2016 from Janet PfeifferWe're all familiar with the phrase "Silence is golden". This proverb dates as far back as ancient Egypt, making reference to the importance of keeping quiet under certain circumstances. The first example of it being used in English is credited to the poet Thomas Carlyle in 1831. Certainly there ...
Views: 1414 - Adversity, Anger, and Awareness - by Submitted on Jan 20, 2016 from Janet PfeifferI've never met anyone who didn't have to face adversity at some point in their lifetime. Whether in our personal relationships, professional lives, in regards to a health issue, academically or financially, hardships seem to be a standard component of life. Of late, many people have adopted ...
Views: 1370 - Why People Don't Get Along - by Submitted on Jan 13, 2016 from Janet PfeifferWhy is it so difficult for us to get along with one another? After all, we all have the same basic needs in life. We all want to be valued, to be acknowledged for the good that we do, to be treated fairly and given sufficient opportunities in life; we all want to be accepted as we are and to be ...
Views: 1412 - "S~T~A" Away From Anger - by Submitted on Jan 06, 2016 from Janet PfeifferI love creating simple strategies individuals can use to experience less anger or stress in their lives, to improve their communications skills, resolve conflicts easier or create inner peace. From the SWaT Strategy* to TECO Magic*, The Great Duck and Dishtowel Debate* or the Seven C's of ...
Views: 1452 - Using Emotions As Tools - by Submitted on Dec 30, 2015 from Janet PfeifferVery often people query me as to whether or not anger is a bad emotion to which I reply "No." All emotions have purpose and value. None are good or bad. They simply are. It is how we utilize them, our actions, that determines their positive or negative value. Emotions are messengers that help us ...
Views: 1357 - The A~N~Y Words and Anger - by Submitted on Dec 23, 2015 from Janet PfeifferThere are thousands of things that trigger our anger: aggressive drivers, rude coworkers, disrespectful children, lying politicians, high taxes, unfairness, and favoritism just to name a few. A critical statement or offensive comment can raise our ire to which we may respond with indignation. ...
Views: 1352 - Five Steps to Inner Peace - by Submitted on Dec 16, 2015 from Janet PfeifferOne of my favorite authors, the late Dr. Wayne Dyer, once stated that "There is no way to peace. Peace is the way." This seemed rather contradictory to the common belief that a peaceful state of existence is a destination we arrive at after traversing the correct path. Wayne challenges us to ...
Views: 1462 - Sarcasm, Fear and Arrogance - by Submitted on Dec 09, 2015 from Janet PfeifferConsider the following scenario: you and your neighbor engage in a political discussion. After a few moments, it becomes apparent that the two of you have serious disagreements about the upcoming presidential elections. Being equally as passionate about your positions, the debate quickly becomes ...
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