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Articles from Janet Pfeiffer | Selfgrowth.com
- Inspired Communication - by Submitted on Dec 02, 2015 from Janet PfeifferThe purpose of communication is so individuals can freely share their ideas, feelings, thoughts, and needs with one another as a means of better understanding themselves and the situation at hand. However it can present a unique set of challenges for several reasons: 1) As children we are not ...
Views: 1450 - The Illusion of Anger - by Submitted on Nov 26, 2015 from Janet PfeifferI sent out an email about my upcoming show, The Illusion of Anger, and was met with an angry response. "Anger is NOT an illusion! People die from anger!" he wrote. I am well aware of that. However, that is not the illusion I'm speaking of. According to Webster's dictionary, anger is a feeling ...
Views: 1532 - Anger: The Bigger Picture - by Submitted on Nov 19, 2015 from Janet PfeifferHave you ever found yourself in a situation that was somewhat confusing, uncomfortable or perhaps even dangerous? Sometimes it's hard to understand why things happen or why we must participate in particular activities. We don't often understand why certain people enter our lives or why they ...
Views: 1457 - Mediation With a Twist - by Submitted on Nov 11, 2015 from Janet PfeifferWe all have the opportunity to be mediators at various times in our lives. Two family members are arguing and cannot come to a resolution about the issue in dispute. We intervene and lend a helping hand. Perhaps an objective third part can offer some insights or suggestions that have alluded ...
Views: 1294 - "WHY" This Gets Rid of Anger - by Submitted on Nov 05, 2015 from Janet PfeifferIt doesn't take much for some people to get angry. For others, the process takes a bit longer. There must be certain criteria present before one is willing to relinquish their serenity. For those who fly off the handle rather quickly, there is a simple one word question they can ask before ...
Views: 1384 - UFO Method to Eliminate Arguing - by Submitted on Oct 28, 2015 from Janet PfeifferWe all argue. Well, for sure we all disagree. Arguing is an option. We can peacefully debate opposite sides of a topic and without having it escalate to anger, shouting, name-calling, and hurt feelings. Yet oftentimes it does. When people do not feel as though they are being heard or understood ...
Views: 1264 - How To Communicate Rationally When You're Angry - by Submitted on Oct 21, 2015 from Janet PfeifferCommunication is difficult for most of us. It is one of the most necessary interpersonal skills we need yet few have ever been formally trained in. For most, it's a learn-as-you-go process. What makes effective communicating so challenging is that we all converse on different levels and employ ...
Views: 1651 - The" Need" For Anger - by Submitted on Oct 07, 2015 from Janet PfeifferI'd be hard-pressed to find someone who never got angry. Even Jesus expressed anger while here in the physical world. Not all anger is obvious nor acknowledged. Passive/aggressive anger, for instance, can go undetected by those experiencing or receiving it. Sarcasm, sabotage, ignoring someone, ...
Views: 1262 - Just Say "No" to Drama - by Submitted on Sep 30, 2015 from Janet PfeifferIt seems as though one cannot make it through an entire day without drama popping up somewhere. Whether at work, in the news, or within our own homes, we are constantly surrounded with chaos and crisis. While some seem to thrive on it, others avoid it like the plague. Not all drama is harmful. ...
Views: 1345 - Tongue Twisters: When Others Manipulate Your Words - by Submitted on Sep 23, 2015 from Janet PfeifferEffectively communicating with others can present enough challenges without the added issue of one who twists and distorts your words. Below is a transcript of a recent conversation I had with someone (who refers to himself as a member of the black race) on facebook. He posted the controversial ...
Views: 2210 - 3 Keys To an Anger-Free Life - by Submitted on Sep 16, 2015 from Janet PfeifferHave you been upset about an issue that seems to make no sense and asked yourself, "Why did I get so angry over something that was relatively minor?" Oftentimes, our response is triggered not by the present issue but from an alternative source. Odd as it may seem, the past and future can hold ...
Views: 1368 - 3 Keys To an Anger-Free Life - by Submitted on Sep 16, 2015 from Janet PfeifferHave you been upset about an issue that seems to make no sense and asked yourself, "Why did I get so angry over something that was relatively minor?" Oftentimes, our response is triggered not by the present issue but from an alternative source. Odd as it may seem, the past and future can hold ...
Views: 1458 - Grief, Healing, and Wholeness - by Submitted on Sep 09, 2015 from Janet PfeifferElizabeth Kubler-Ross defined the five stages of grief in her 1969 book, On Death and Dying. Grief is a deeply personal process and each individual experiences it on their own terms. Some may endure all five stages, others only a portion; some progress in a seemingly reasonable period of time, ...
Views: 1795 - The "OK" Solution to Criticism - by Submitted on Aug 26, 2015 from Janet PfeifferWe live in a harsh and judgmental world where people are quick to point out the faults and imperfections of others yet seem oblivious to their own. Some misguided souls believe they have a moral obligation and civil duty to help you to be a better person by telling you what a failure you really ...
Views: 1260 - The "OK" Solution to Criticism - by Submitted on Aug 26, 2015 from Janet PfeifferWe live in a harsh and judgmental world where people are quick to point out the faults and imperfections of others yet seem oblivious to their own. Some misguided souls believe they have a moral obligation and civil duty to help you to be a better person by telling you what a failure you really ...
Views: 1305 - Self-Forgiveness - by Submitted on Aug 19, 2015 from Janet PfeifferForgiveness is one of the powerful modalities we have regarding our spiritual and emotional healing. I have always found it easy to forgive those who hurt or offended me yet I am not as generous with forgiving myself. Professionally speaking, this is one of the topics I lecture on that I am most ...
Views: 1275 - Ten Tips to Fight Fair - by Submitted on Aug 12, 2015 from Janet PfeifferI'm not a fan of boxing nor professional wrestling. I find that, as in real life, the players don't always fight fair. I understand that much is done strictly to boost ratings but still I find it distressing. In real life it is even more disturbing for much damage can occur when one or both ...
Views: 1257 - Ten Tips to Fight Fair - by Submitted on Aug 12, 2015 from Janet PfeifferI'm not a fan of boxing nor professional wrestling. I find that, as in real life, the players don't always fight fair. I understand that much is done strictly to boost ratings but still I find it distressing. In real life it is even more disturbing for much damage can occur when one or both ...
Views: 1127 - Rage Against a Lion Killer - by Submitted on Aug 05, 2015 from Janet PfeifferThe recent trophy killing of Cecil the Lion in Zimbabwe by an American dentist has enraged the world. Social media has exploded with demands to bring the killer to justice and ban hunting entirely. I am an animal lover in every sense of the word and share in the anger that so many others feel. ...
Views: 1259 - Anger and Self-Pity: The Shortest Road to Misery - by Submitted on Jul 29, 2015 from Janet PfeifferI've never been one to feel sorry for myself. When bad things would happen in my life I never asked "why me?" I would, instead, inquire "why not me?" I learned early-on that bad things happen in everyone's life and I was not exempt so I developed a mindset of quiet self-resignation - I simply ...
Views: 1476 - 7 Steps to Regret Free Decisions - by Submitted on Jul 15, 2015 from Janet PfeifferWe're all faced with making hundreds if not thousands of decisions each day. From choosing the time I get up to what I want to wear, whether I should have breakfast or not, how I'm going to spend my day, or what my attitude will look like - we make choices from morning till night that impact the ...
Views: 1341 - How Your Anger Benefits Me - by Submitted on Jul 08, 2015 from Janet PfeifferYour anger can actually benefit me. That sounds a bit ludicrous, wouldn't you agree? Anger hurts the one experiencing it but how can it possibly work to my advantage? If you become angry with me, I might feel upset, disrespected, scared, or angry in return. On a deeper level those emotions can ...
Views: 1437 - Speak Up! Alternatives to Remaining Silent - by Submitted on Jul 01, 2015 from Janet PfeifferWe all get angry. It's a normal, useful, healthy emotion. It's not our anger that gets us in trouble. It's the way in which we express, or suppress, it that that exacerbates the situation. The majority of people I've met believe that there are only two ways of handling anger: the first is ...
Views: 1309 - Six Steps to Rebuilding a Broken Trust - by Submitted on Jun 24, 2015 from Janet PfeifferHave you ever disappointed someone or broken a promise? Was the incident serious enough to ultimately compromise the trust between you? We all have been untrustworthy at some point. That doesn't mean that we're bad or selfish. Sometimes, even under the best of circumstances, we let people down. ...
Views: 1990 - Dealing With Insults Effectively - by Submitted on Jun 18, 2015 from Janet PfeifferMy husband is brutal: he teases and torments me unmercifully. But I'm just as bad. From the moment we wake up until we crawl exhausted into bed at the end of the day, we are constantly harassing one another. In fact, the first words out of his mouth as he opens his eyes at 5 am are "Are you ...
Views: 1428 - You're Right (or Not) to Be Angry - by Submitted on Jun 10, 2015 from Janet PfeifferDon't you hate it when someone tells you not to be angry? People seem to think that they know best how we should or shouldn't feel. I was on the phone recently with a friend who needed to tell me something sensitive and prefaced it with "Now don't get mad at me for telling you this." So I ...
Views: 1295 - Let Go (of) My Ego: The Connection Between Ego and Anger - by Submitted on Jun 03, 2015 from Janet PfeifferWhile in college back in the 60's, I majored in psychology. While it was not my eventual degree, I continued to find it a fascinating subject even decades later. I remember during one of my classes the professor stated that there were only two emotions: love and fear. I found that difficult to ...
Views: 1884 - How to Start and/or Stop and Argument - by Submitted on May 27, 2015 from Janet PfeifferBeing a part of any relationship for a period of time affords an individual the opportunity to learn what works and what doesn't with each respective person. I may be able to discuss politics with Uncle Joe but Aunt Sue? Never! He's open minded to other people's views and enjoys a lively debate. ...
Views: 1453 - Ten Tips For Keeping Peace in an Out of Control World - by Submitted on May 20, 2015 from Janet PfeifferI don't know about you but to me the world keeps getting crazier. Nothing makes sense anymore. I sometimes feel as though I've fallen into the rabbit hole in Alice in Wonderland. In an age of endless technology and societal demands, I am acutely aware of the ever constant pressures of living in ...
Views: 1218 - Creating a Cooperative Company Culture - by Submitted on May 13, 2015 from Janet PfeifferThe latest buzz word in business today is "company culture". It refers, in part, to the overall atmosphere and mission of the company. Many entrepreneurs begin the best of intentions and hire people who have the same values and commitment to their objective. Yet somewhere along the line, in the ...
Views: 1983 - You Can 'Thank' Away Anger - by Submitted on May 06, 2015 from Janet PfeifferI'm a very polite person. I was taught to always say "please" and "thank you" when I was a child, a practice that has continued throughout my adult life. However, I never realized the latter phrase could be used as a means of eliminating anger. You might think it an odd concept but let me ...
Views: 1310 - Part 3: Stress-Less Solutions - by Submitted on Apr 29, 2015 from Janet PfeifferI don't worry much. When an issue arises that cause me distress, my mind instantly begins searching for possible solutions. I wasn't always like this - it took years of awareness and effort but it has certainly paid off. Take this past week, for example. I use a service to heavily promote both ...
Views: 1469 - Part 2: The Surprising Cause of Stress - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2015 from Janet PfeifferI'd be hard-pressed to find anyone who never experiences stress. Most of us become frustrated when things don't go the way we planned or when others don't comply with how we want them to be or behave. A sense of losing control triggers feelings of uncertainty within us. Mild anxiety, or ...
Views: 1495 - The Surprising Cause of Stress, Part 1 - by Submitted on Apr 15, 2015 from Janet PfeifferToday is "tax day". For millions of American tax payers it is probably their least favorite time of the year, propelling them into a state of duress and anxiety. For a business owner such as myself the task of gathering all of my receipts and itemizing my expenses is time consuming and ...
Views: 1422 - Why Do I Feel the Way I Do? - by Submitted on Apr 08, 2015 from Janet PfeifferPeople often believe that they are slaves to their emotions: "I hate feeling like this but I can't help it." Some are ashamed of their emotions and try to hide them; still others find some to be offensive, frightening or sinful. But the truth is that all feelings have purpose and value. They are ...
Views: 1744 - Diffusing Family Tension - by Submitted on Apr 01, 2015 from Janet PfeifferI've spent over twenty years working with families as a spiritual life coach. Many of my clients divulge painful or embarrassing situations that their families are struggling with, believing there must be something wrong with them since other families they know appear so well adjusted. I assure ...
Views: 1639 - Healthy Anger - by Submitted on Mar 25, 2015 from Janet PfeifferAnger is one of the most powerful yet misunderstood emotions we experience. On the one hand, it has become a form of entertainment on TV, video games, social media, and Youtube. Housewives from states across the nation screaming at one another and flipping tables are cheered on each week by ...
Views: 1412 - The 15 Minute Conflict Resolution Solution - by Submitted on Mar 18, 2015 from Janet PfeifferI abhor arguing. It's a waste of precious time and energy and robs me of my serenity. Conflict, however, is horse of another color. Conflict occurs daily in each of our lives. It simply means that there is a disagreement, a difference of opinion. My husband and I engage in disputes on a regular ...
Views: 2128 - Healing Anger and Abuse With Help From Beyond - by Submitted on Mar 11, 2015 from Janet PfeifferI was truly blessed: when my first husband and I married I acquired a second set of parents. I could not have loved "Bob" and "Mary" more and their fondness for me was generously reciprocated. For the eighteen years I was with their son, we were family. However, my husband's decision to end our ...
Views: 1410 - Fear or Faith; Anger or Peace? - by Submitted on Mar 04, 2015 from Janet PfeifferWhen I was a child my dad would take all of us for a "Sunday drive". Mom, my sisters, and I would pile into his 1950's Chevy sedan with the green vinyl seat covers and off we'd go. I never knew where he was taking us or when we would arrive home. But two things I knew for sure: Dad would ...
Views: 1392 - Why Your Body Needs You to Forgive - by Submitted on Feb 25, 2015 from Janet PfeifferI'm blessed to have parents who, early-on in life, instilled in me the importance of forgiveness. "They didn't mean what they said." "Your friend is probably just having a bad day." My mom was, and still is, one who always saw the best in people and chose compassion over anger. So it has always ...
Views: 1476(1 vote) - How to Stop Being Angry With Someone - by Submitted on Feb 18, 2015 from Janet PfeifferI find it amusing that very often when I'm scheduled to do a radio show or present a lecture I'm speaking on a subject matter that reflects a lesson I need reminded of. Today's show is no exception. I'm one who is slow to anger and quick to forgive. However, occasionally I find myself trapped in ...
Views: 1558 - Why Do Couples Fight and How Not To - by Submitted on Feb 11, 2015 from Janet PfeifferI enjoy reading advice columns. Yesterday, a disgruntled woman complained that Hallmark created the upcoming holiday of Valentine's Day to remind singles that they are losers. (I'm pretty sure Hallmark wasn't in existence during the Middle Ages when this day was first set aside to celebrate ...
Views: 1199(1 vote) - How to Make a Difficult Conversation Easier - by Submitted on Feb 04, 2015 from Janet PfeifferConversations can be risky at times. The more sensitive the topic, the more delicately we need to approach it while maintaining a truthful and honest demeanor . The subtle balance between being blunt and abrasive or being effectual is one that many are not equipped to navigate. In my more ...
Views: 1527 - Misdirected Anger - by Submitted on Jan 28, 2015 from Janet PfeifferWe've all taken our anger out on the wrong party, not to say that there is ever a right party who is deserving of our ire. It's not uncommon to be upset with one person and misdirect it at someone or something else. Your boss has been crabby all day and continually comments on every aspect of ...
Views: 10526 - Silencing Your Inner Critic - by Submitted on Jan 22, 2015 from Janet PfeifferI learned to be critical of myself at a very early age. I never did anything right; everyone else was better than me; and even worse, I was never good enough, period. It didn't help that during my impressionable formative years, society taught that the more you denigrated a child the harder ...
Views: 1335 - Problem Interactions in the Workplace - by Submitted on Jan 14, 2015 from Janet PfeifferMost of us work for a living. On or off the job we are bound to encounter a wide range of, shall I say, challenging personalities? Bullies, intimidators, hypocrites, backstabbers, underminers, instigators, complainers, gossips, withholders, and know-it-alls just to name a few. Their presence can ...
Views: 2043 - Anger: How Much is Too Much? - by Submitted on Jan 07, 2015 from Janet PfeifferJesus got angry. He was troubled by the many injustices he encountered while on Earth. At times, he expressed his dismay to those around Him. Anger, as with all emotions, has a place and purpose. But how does one know if there is too much anger in their lives? Here are ten warning signs to ...
Views: 2480 - New Year - No Anger - by Submitted on Dec 31, 2014 from Janet PfeifferHere it is: the beginning of another new year. All around the globe people are making New Year's resolutions to lose weight, be happier, spend more quality time with their families and so on. I find it rather odd that in a world filled with anger and violence no one makes a declaration to "not ...
Views: 1459 - Your Relationships C*A*N Last Forever - by Submitted on Dec 17, 2014 from Janet PfeifferFor me, one of the saddest things to see is a relationship between two people who previously professed their deep love for one another now entering its final stage of dissolution. The divorce rate in this country is tragically high. When I was young and naive I believed that all you needed for a ...
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